Wednesday October 18th, 2006 @ 10:14 PM
Music: Meatloaf - Paradise by the Dashboard Light
New update, as promised... ;)

    I don't feel like updating, but Andrea's message in my comment box (PLUS the fact that I got 12 comments last entry... I FEEL SO LOVED!!) has guilted me into writing this update... So it will have to be one of those not-prettily-written bullet-point entries. No complaining now. ;)

• I'm SUPER excited for Halloween... I'm going as Sally Bowles from Cabaret (see picture here). I still need to find a bowler hat (Mary, where was that place you said you found the hats??), a necklace and the leg-suspender thingies... Oh, and I have to raid my mom's closet for shoes/boots that will work. Oh man though, this is going to be SOOO fun... I have to wear an OBSCENE amount of make-up because that's what she wears in the movie -we're talking bright blue eye shadow, red lips... I can't wait for next Saturday. :)
• So for my photojournalism class we have this monthly assignments where we have to go out to some public event and take pictures... I went to my sister's field hockey game and ran around and got some pretty damn good shots, and I'm SO SAD because my SD card decided to randomly DIE on me after that and there goes my assignment. :( But it's okay, because now tomorrow I'm going down to this button design competition with Andrew to take new pictures (and buy buttons). And hey, if you're interested in the event feel free to come: info about it is here.

~Shayla

Friday the 13th of October, 2006 @ 1:31 AM
Music: Heart - Little Queen
Sincere flattery will get you Sex in the City

    I was talking to a guy recently, and he was amazed to hear that a guy's physical appearance really just isn't that important to me. To be honest, I told him, it is infinitely more important that a guy is attracted to me.
    Then tonight I was watching Sex and the City, and Charlotte gets seduced by Harry (who, for those few of you who don't watch the show, is bald and hairy and unrefined) because he keeps telling her she's the most beautiful woman he's ever met, and she makes him crazy and she's all he's been able to think about from the moment he met her.
    And some girls might be thinking, "Ewwww." But honestly, if I was single that would SOOOOOOOO work on me!
    I think most men TOTALLY underestimate the power of being completely obsessed (but not in a scary stalker way!!) with a woman. I took Andrew years to learn this valuable secret; he's actually not that much of perv, but he plays it up because he knows DAMN well it will get him laid.
    So my NEW question of the now (and yes, I've asked most of you this already, but I'm putting it out there for those who haven't heard it yet) is: Would you rather be with someone who was hot but didn't think you were that attractive, or with someone ugly who thought your were totally hot?
    I'm going to guess that the answer is different for girls and guys. Personally, I don't think I'd ever want to date a conventionally hot guy because he'd be too full of himself. Let's get real here: we're women, and we're DEFINITELY the better looking of the sexes. We want -no, we need- it to be all about us.
    Thoughts??

~Shayla

Thursday October 11, 2006 @ 11:18 PM
Music: Rebel Yell - Billy Idol
Heh, I accidentally typed Octobeer... Beer!

    (deep breath in)
    Gahhhhh I have a headache and I'm tired and my allergies are going crazy and I do NOT want to stay up and do this photo assignment and I do NOT feel like updating but it's been too long and I need something to help me procrastinate from doing my photo assignment.
    Something is SERIOUSLY wrong when I don't feel like doing an assignment that involves: A) playing with photoshop, and B) bitching about urban sprawl. I'm actually just stressed because I'm underslept and I have a lot to do and my OSAP is apparently screwed up now. :(
    In other breaking news, Andrew's a good lay. Oh wait, that's not news after all.
    I can tell I'm REALLY tired because I kinda wanted to LAWL at that... Stupid geeky boyfriend corrupting me with his nerd jargon...

~Shayla

Monday October 2nd, 2006 @ 1:38 AM
Music: Jon Brion - Phone Call
A relationship insight and a lost friend :(

    I wish someone would have sat me down in grade ten and explained the way relationships work, how they fit in your life. At that age, most of the drama in my relationship was self-inflicted: a product of my boredom or a symptom of trying to get my life's fulfillment out of another person.
    It's both frightening and freeing when you realize that a relationship is only one part of your life, and it's only intended to fulfill part of your needs. That's the freeing part. On the other hand, it's frightening to acknowledge the fact that you are ultimately responsible for making yourself happy, and you can't blame another person for your unhappiness with life.
    It's impossible to meet someone who will fulfill all of your needs. Even if you have an amazing connection in a few aspects, we are all highly complex people with multiple interests, desires and needs... It's impossible to expect that one person can provide you with all the stimulation and conversation you need. You need to seek other people or sources to get everything you need: you need to make friends who have similar interests, you need to seek additional comfort from family, you need to check out a library book.
    When it comes right down to it, the hard part is deciding which aspects of your life you want to be fulfilled by a significant other. It's a personal choice.
    And it's hard when you meet someone who has different things to offer you, and can't understand what more you would want in a significant other. You share an undeniable connection with that person, and maybe under other circumstances you would allow that to develop into more, but why risk it all if you already have exactly what you want?
    You say I'm playing it safe. You say I'm settling for the wrong person. You say he can't give me what I need, that he will never fulfill me in this way.
    And you're right about that last part.
    Can't you understand that I wanted you to give me something he couldn't, but not as a significant other? I wanted you as a friend. Why does it have to be all or nothing for you?
    There is a very large part of me that believes it's impossible for men and women to be friends without sex entering into the equation in some form or another. It always seems that one person is a attracted to/in love with the other, and in unless they're content with living in rejection (or able to get over the attraction) the friendship usually dies. :( Maybe I'll try to be friends with Asian guys... They're the only ones who tend usually not to be attracted to me and who I'm usually not attracted to. :P

~Shayla

PS. Sam's Thanksgiving party and Nuit Blanche were super awesome. The sugar from all that pie/cake must have helped, because Katie and I stumbled in the door at 10:30 AM this morning...

Friday September 29th, 2006 @ 11:41 PM
Music: Reefer Madness songs in my head
Come on Jimmy, come on Jimmy, suck it down for Sally...

    So I've had like the best (the busiest) last two days EVER... And judging by my plans for this weekend, the fun shall continue! Here's a breakdown of what's gone/going on in my life currently:

Thursday:

• I went in to school early to hand in my photo assignment (good riddance), and then skipped to go have breakfast with my dad. :)
• From there I went down to Centennial college near Pape station (the CCC campus) to interview the advertising program coordinator for my article on sidewalk ads. Pretty cool. :)
• I went down to City Hall to check the bylaws on sidewalk art/advertising (advertising = illegal, FYI).
• I met local sidewalk artist Victor Fraser at his studio for an interview. Very cool guy, and I got LOTS of material for my article. :) He's been doing sidewalk art in Toronto (and accross Canada) since 1993, and makes most of his living doing sidewalk ads for companies. You may be familiar with some of his work: a tape measure running down Queen Street's fashion district, 2005 poppies for last Remembrance Day, a 3d-can of Mountain Dew... Check out his website here.
• I met Andrew for lunch near where he works. Damn good lasagna. :) Plus good company, of course.
• I had the good fortune of running into Carly at the Eaton's centre. :) Without her, the next thing on my list wouldn't have been possible...
• I FINALLY got the coat I'd been trying to get for over a week! I'd already phoned most of the H&Ms in the GTA trying to find it in my size, and the two holds I placed both turned out to be the wrong coats. :P But Carly insisted that SHE try because she's a professional. I was skeptical, but after successfully picking up my size 6 coat from Yorkdale I don't mind eating my words. ;) THANKS CARLY!!
• I saw Andrew... that's always fun. ;)
• I stayed up until 4 AM writing a kick-ass article on sidewalk advertising. :)

• I slept in and decided to skip school and just e-mail my prof the article. I had Sushi for breakfast with Katie and some of her friends... Nothing like a nice california roll in the morning... :D How are they so good??
• I watched the end of Nip/Tuck Season 3. Oh my good, what a good series! I'm so sad that I have no more to watch. :(
• I got ice cream. :)
• My mom and I went to see the play Reefer Madness at Hart House. WOW, it was SO GOOD!! Seriously, I died laughing. New favourite play, for sure. :D The final day to see it is tomorrow (Saturday), so check it out online if you're interested because it's really worth seeing. It amazes me that university students can sing so freaking amazing.

• I need to make two chocolate pies for a party.
• I need to stay up super SUPER late tonight (keep reading, you'll see why).
• Saturday is my Dad's final day working at Encore Music. If you want, come on down and see his store for one last time... I'm kinda sad, but hopeful too.
• Sam's having an early Thanksgiving dinner thing, to which I'll be bringing my soon-to-be-world-famous chocolate pie. :) Should be awesome.
• Nuit Blanche!! If you haven't heard about this, you must live under a rock. An all-night (7PM-7AM... this is why I must stay up super late tonight... to PREPARE!) art thing across downtown Toronto. I am SO there! If you're interested in tagging along, give me a call. So far people coming are me, Katie, Chris Ciaravino, Carly (I hope), and some of Katie's random friends. So people, COME. It's going to be SUPER AWESOME!! I've been excited about this for like a month. :) For details, check out the website.

~Shayla

Saturday September 23rd, 2006 @ 3:06 AM
Music: Joni Mitchell - Just like this train
Fun with Uncle Herman...

    So I bought a new camera this week, and his name is Uncle Herman (not to be confused with Alexis's Uncle Herman, who is NOT a camera but in fact a real person). The last three weeks have been a crash course in photography, among other things... I'm not all that good with the camera yet, but as you will see from some of the photos I've uploaded, I'm learning. :) Tell me what you think:

I love this picture of Andrew.

And THIS is my new favourite picture of him!

Andrew gets sexy for the camera...

Andrew gets dirty for the camera...

Henry is just so cute!

Shayla loves Henry (Andrew took this one).

This is Steve from Dr. B's.

The rest are pictures I took for my photo course:

    You have NO IDEA how much time and energy I spent trying to get those shots of the bird!! I have like a zillion pictures of the damn bird on my camera, but those are the only two that actually came out good. :P The silly thing kept landing and then taking off whenever I got near, so I had to kinda guess what adjustments to set my camera to (which was especially difficult because I couldn't predict whether the bird would fly in the sunlight or stay in the shade) and pray the pictures would come out. :P Oh well, screw you bird, I have your picture!
    So I have a new question for all of you: do you act differently around different people, or do you think you stay pretty much the same all the time? If you act differently, how and why do you do it and how do you know who the "real you" is? Personally, I think I act basically the same around most people... I open up more around some people than others, and I feel a little braver or wilder with some people, but I think I'm still the same basic person in any case. My mom and I were talking about different sides to people earlier today, and I figured I would extend the discussion to you all. :)
    Well...? That comment box isn't going to fill itself, you know. ;)

~Shayla

PS. Happy birthday to my mom! :D

Sunday September 17th @ 11:40 AM
Music: Billy Joel - She's Always a Woman
Quickie update...

I'm too lazy and head-fuzzy to write an actual update at the moment, so you'll have to make due with a list of what's on my mind and in my life right now:

• I've been watching wayyyyy too much Nip/Tuck, but that show is like a friggin soap opera... I MUST KEEP WATCHING. So far my mom and sister and I have watched all of season 2 and now we've rented season 1... This is going to be a crazy week... I've been having dreams about Sean and Christian... ;)
• I'm buying an outrageously expensive camera today... It's required as part of my courses/program, so I'm not complaining too much, but geez... We're talking around a thousand dollars on a camera! Thank you Mr. OSAP. :P Oh well, on a non-school related note: between this awesome camera and the new idea Andrew gave me for web-designing last night, my upcoming winter layout (don't get excited Son, it's not coming until the end of the semester!) will leave all others in the dust. :D
• I'm liking my courses so far... I like getting to hang out with the same people all week and getting to know their names and talk with them regularly. And so far the homework load has been minimal, even though this is supposedly an intensive course load. Oh well, I'm positive that I'm going to like this year of college better than the last two of university. :)
• My stupid sister gave me a terrible head cold, so for the most part I've spent the weekend inside watching TV in my pajamas (fortunately, Katie is still sick, so I have a sick-buddy). I also have had a stupid cold sore all week, and I hope my journalism classmates don't think I have herpes (the bad one... yes, I know that cold sores are also a form of herpes technically). :P Hey, to all my nursing/doctor/science/sex freak friends: does that mean that if you give a blow job when you have a cold sore, you give the guy actually bad-news herpes?? I should know this, but I don't. Anyway, Dr. B pumped me full of anti-viral meds this week, so my cold sore is on its way out.
• As soon as either my OSAP or my next paycheque comes in (the race is on), I'm officially treating myself to a purchase. I need a fall coat. I'm thinking I'll buy like a cord blazer, but I'm not sure if I want it in red or green (like a chill, almost olive green). See, green will go more with everything (I can wear it with my orange pants), but red is really my colour... Thoughts?
• My "question of the now" is changing in response to too much Nip/Tuck: If you could change one thing about yourself physically, what would it be? Personally, I'm generally very happy with the way I look... The only two things I'd really consider are laser hair removal (it would save me a lot of time/money in the end), and getting my teeth whitened (which would happen naturally if I quit drinking Coke... but it's soo good...). What would you change?

~Shayla

Monday September 11th, 2006 @ 1:20 AM
Music: Astor Piazzolla - Oblivion
The winds of change are blowing me over...

    I'm still unsure as to how this year is going to go. This is my first year in college (you may remember that I'm in a joint program) and I'm finding it very different from university. I spend twenty or so hours in class a week, which is a lot more than I had in university. I have every class with the same twenty-thirty people. The course subjects are less academic and far more hands-on.
    I'm still finding the change from summer back to school difficult. I don't always do so well with change. It seems like so much change is happening all at once. I'm going from having all time to myself to being strickly scheduled throughout the week and having homework (not to mention getting up early three days a week). My highschool friends have all gone back to school, most of them to schools outside of Toronto -that's always difficult to deal with. I'm still adjusting to Andrew working full time; I must admit I found it somewhat difficult throughout the summer, and I'm afraid it will be worse for me during the school year when I'm stressed out and don't have the same support from friends that I can get through the summer.
    There's another big change that's also going on within my family right now. I haven't been able to mention it to people before now, but my dad has finally said that it's okay. After eighteen years, my dad is selling his business and pursuing something else. He just said he's been too long doing one thing and needs a change, and the business needs a fresh owner to update things and keep it all going strong. It's already been sold, and my dad will stop working in about five weeks. It's okay to talk about it with you all now since it's already been sold, but I ask you guys not to spread it around too much because since it's a consignment store, switching owners could make clients nervous and be bad for business. Just please try to keep it a little on the down-low for at least the next five weeks?
    It's really just a lot all at once, and I'm not sure how it's all going to work out. I must admit, there is a lot of potential for a positive outcome with some of these changes. I think my parents may get along better now that my dad doesn't have the stress/distraction of the business. As well, I think a school setting that forces me to get out of the house each day and interact with people in a close-knit environment -and, especially, doing WRITING work instead of political science or some other thing- will end up being good for me. I'm excited about a lot of the upcoming work I'm going to be doing in my courses.
    It's just the change that frightens me a little. I feel alone, and empty, and bored, at it leads me to do stupid things. I crave closeness and stimulation, and many of you know I've been looking in the wrong place to get it. It's just that some of the things that used to bring me that can't seem to do it anymore. It's natural and inevitable that a five-year relationship won't be as exciting as a new one; I even think that that in itself would be okay, except that I'm having a difficult time adjusting to less closeness with Andrew than I'm used to. The combined effects... well, I'm having a difficult time. With such cravings, it's difficult not to be attracted to a newness that I feel I have some control over.
    All of this change is inevitable. It's pointless to try to stop it. I realize that my only option is to control my response and reaction to it. Part of me believes that I'm justified in being afraid of change, since last time this much potentially negative change happened to me I ended up not able to eat and crying in a psychologist's office and thinking I was going crazy.
    Does anyone remember that short story we read in high school called This is a Test? It's silly, but at times like these I repeat to myself, as a mantra: "This is a test. A what? A test. A what? A test. Oh, a test." It's normal, especially for me, to be afraid of change. But if I can make it through this much change without collapsing into a total mess, it's a sign that I've learned the skills I need to cope with change. It means that I've passed the test.

~Shayla

Friday September 8th, 2006 @ 11:59 PM
Music: Aerosmith - Walk this way
Trouble, thine name is Henry...

    So I'm sure I've told many of you this before, but I swear... My cat Henry causes the MOST trouble of anyone in my household. I think it's time to compile an official of list to describe exactly what I mean by "trouble". That big fat pig of a cat:

• runs outside when he's not supposed to, and then sometimes runs away when you try to catch him.
• wakes up my household bugging people to feed or pet him.
• begs for human food (especially when you're eating french fries or croissants).
• eats all the food in the dish so the other cat sometimes goes hungry.
• scarfs down his food so fast that he doesn't chew, and then he chokes and pukes up piles of swallowed but unchewed catfood.
• chews open the bottom corner of bags of cat food so that when you pour the food it falls out the hole onto the floor.
• couldn't wait until morning to be fed, so he tore open the package of bread on the counter and started eating the bread.
• eats house plants (we don't have house plants any more).
• almost ALWAYS gets jealous when you pet the other cat, and comes over to chase her away so you can pet HIM.
• torments my dog for attention (to the point that she's begging to go outside just to get away from him) and bullies the other cat.
• has broken three lamps in total (so far) by knocking them over or pushing them off surfaces. :P
• nearly set my house on fire: in his first incident of lamp-breaking, he knocked the lap to the floor and the glass shade broke, but the lightbulb didn't. By the time we came home, the house was full of smoke and the fire alarm was going. The lightbulb had burnt almost entirely through the carpet, and was getting extremely close to the wooden floor. :O
• snores and breathes very loudly.
• sometimes likes to crap in places OTHER than the catbox.
• peed in my mom's basket of clean laundry.
• sniffs around in the catlitter box (the tell-tale sign of catlitter stuck to his nose always gives him away).
• accidentally scratched my mom's face with his back claw while jumping over her head when she was sleeping.
• likes to lie on sheets of paper -especially homework assignments WHILE you're working on them!
• gets angry and tears up paper -the back cover of the IKEA catalogue is all shreaded.
• likes to attack necklaces, shoelaces and the pull-strings on sweaters.
• likes to climb inside the hollow part of our pull-out couch when it's pulled out... but then can't get back out and cries and cries until someone comes and rescues him.
• stands in front of you when you walk up or down the stairs.
• will NOT move when you want to sit where he's sitting. Eventually he HAS to move because you're just stronger than he is, but he is 100% unwilling.
• knocks christmas ornaments off the christmas tree.
• comes and sits on your stomach when you're lying down to read your textbook, and he's so fat that he blocks the whole damn book.

~Shayla

Wednesday September 6th, 2006 @ 11:45 PM
Music: The Cars - I'm not the one
Is is a universal fact that men are jerks?

    Sure it hurts when someone goes out of their way to be mean to you, but at least then you get the attention. What hurts worse is when they forget about you entirely and don't even care. I may be the stupid girl who never learns, but apparently guys don't learn anything much either. What an asshole...
    But my emotions have been bouncing up and down in response to how certain guys have treated me all week, and I'm sick to death of it (I'm sure anyone who's been reading my journal for the past week is sick of it too!). I'm leaving for Hamilton tomorrow, to get my drink on and go dancing with good friends and gross guys who will at least pay some attention to me. I stressed out all today, I got left hanging, and I refuse to get upset about it anymore. So I'm going to be happy, dammit, because I am in charge of my life and my feelings.
    And when I get back home to Toronto we'll see if a certain boyfriend misses me yet. :(

~Shayla

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