Monday October 10th, 2005 @ 6:39
Happy Thanksgiving!!

    This Thanksgiving, I'm thankful for:

• Having a family to spend Thanksgiving with, especially when I remember people who are spending it alone.
• Another year with my grandparents, and the wealth of stories and memories that they pass on to me.
• My cottage, a place where I can go and be surrounded by nature and it's beauty (especially at this time of year).
• The six beautiful smiling faces you'll see if you click "links", and their immeasurable friendship.
• My extended relatives, both blood (Mary, Sarah, etc.), and non-blood (Alexis, Jamie).
• The greatest boyfriend in the world, who even drops me a line from the states (and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ANDREW!! HE TURNED 22 YESTERDAY!).
• Having a built-in best friend who I've already known for all of my life, and share everything with -including parents. ;)
• Being born in a place and situation that provides me with a good quality of life and a chance to achieve my dreams.
• David Suzuki -my new idol- and God bless him. :D
• Grandma's chocolate pie --> MARY, you should have come!! YOU MISSED GOOOOOOD CHOCOLATE PIE!!!

~Shayla

Tuesday October 4th, 2005 @ 9:06 PM
Too many choices, but I think I'm making the right ones...

    Sometimes I wish that I'd split myself into different pieces at birth, and each part of me did something else with my life.

• One of me would be a writer
• One of me would have stayed with art, maybe end up an interior and fashion designer
• One of me would have learned to dance
• One of me would have learned guitar or violin or cello
• One of me would marry and have kids
• One of me would travel and make lovers of strangers
• One of me would devote her life to fighting urban sprawl and pollution

~Shayla

PS. Also, I've now officially gone public. ;)

Tuesday September 27, 2005 @ 12:51 PM
I was just thinking...

    So someone from Ward asked for my link to this journal today on my livejournal, and I gave it to him. And now I'm thinking, do you think I should just put up a link to this journal on my lj? On the one hand, I'd probably get a lot more comments, and it would help me keep in touch with some of the Ward people... But on the other hand, there's something safe about writing and knowing that only close friends are going to read it. I can't do private entries here. Then again, I looked back over my past entries, and there's only one that's overly personal (the new years one about Andrew, although I was so pissed at the time that I would have gladly posted it as a public entry anyway). And anyway, I think I'm a little bit past the point when I care what the majority of people think about me (especially people from high school). I already get the opinion of the people I value, so why not open it up to others? After all, if anyone came and specifically ASKED me for a link to this site, I would have no problem giving it to them.
    I still don't know... Another downside is that if I put up a link it'll be a public site, and here I've got pictures of me plastered all over the place... But I don't want to change that either.
    What do you guys think, you people whose opinion is of value to me? ;)

~Shayla

Saturday September 24, 2005 @ 11:25 PM
Wish List

• I want to finish something that I've started.
• I want thirty-something chapter outlines.
• I want a full piece of classical music that's just all the little parts I like from other pieces all strung together.
• I want to learn to sew, and spend my life window-shopping.
• I want to start a rock band with Andrew and we'll change our names to "Molly Deadfellow" and "Jimmy Riot".
• I want to strangle my "International Relations" prof.
• And Rosalind from Dr. B.'s.
• I want to walk home at night without worrying about getting raped.
• I want to be debt-free.
• I want Holst to write a suite for Pluto.
• I want to live through a decade that's not just a rip-off of another decade.
• I want an out-of-body experience.
• I want my sister to be eighteen and stop having to lie to my parents.
• I want to see two rhinos doing it.
• I want a bra that FITS, dammit.
• I want a form of exercise that's not violent, elitist or embarassing.
• I want a Freddy Mercury button on my bag.
• I want to be rich and beautiful at my elementary school reunion.
• I want to walk around with my jeans undone.
• I want Andrew to play me music and call it foreplay.
• I want everyone to comment and tell me something I don't already know about them.

Wednesday September 22, 2005 @ 12:19 PM
Best day EVER!

    Wow, I feel like Harry in the sixth "Harry Potter" book when he drinks the magic luck potion and it makes him REALLY lucky and everything magically works out for him!
    Okay, so I log on to my course-selection program today on whim, and two things magically work out:

• 1) I've got one lecture on Wednesdays from 9AM-11AM, and then a tutorial (which I HAVE to go to because it's worth 10% of my grade) from 3PM-4PM, and that totally sucks, right? But I log on today and see that there are now two spots open for the tutorial from 11AM-12PM, so NOW I'M IN THAT TUTORIAL! :D
• 2) I really REALLY wanted to get into this course next semester on Canadian health care policy, but there are only thirty spaces and they were all full... UNTIL I checked today and got enrolled in the course!! :D

~Shayla

Wednesday September 14, 2005 @ 1:57 PM
Socrates rocks my socks...

    So Socrates is my absolute favourite philosopher, hands down. If any of you ever get a chance, I encourage you to read The Trial and Death of Socrates, if not the entire thing (it's only like sixty pages), then at least "Apology". I just finished reading it for one of my politics classes.
    But I know you won't, so here are some of my favourite quotes that I hope you WILL read:

• "I am wiser than this man; it is likely that neither of us knows anything worthwhile, but he thinks he knows something when he does not, whereas then I do not know, neither do I think I know; so I am likely to be wiser than he to this entent, that I do not think I know what I do no known." (21d)
• "You are wrong, sir, if you think that a man who is any good at all should take into account the rist of death; he should look to this only in his actions, whether what he does is right or wrong, whether he is acting like a good or bad man." (28b)
• To fear death, gentlemen, is no other than to think oneself wise when one is not, to think one knows what one does not know. No one knows wether death may not be the greatest of all blessings for a man, yet men fear it as if they knew that it is the greatest of evils. (29a)
• "Wealth does not bring about excellence, but excellence makes wealth and everything else good for men, both individually and collectively." (30b)
• Do not be angry with me for speaking the truth; no man will survive who genuinely opposes you or any other crowd and prevents the occurrence of many unjust and illegal happenings in the city. A man who really fights for justice must lead a private, not a public, life if he is to survive for even a short time. (31e-33a)
• the unexamined life is not worth living (38a)
• It is not difficult to avoid death, gentlemen; it is much more difficult to avoid wickedness, for it runs faster than death. Slow and elderly as I am, I have been caught by the slower pursuer, whereas my accusers, being clever and sharp, have been caught by the quicker, wickedness. (39a-b)
• You are wrong if you believe that by killing people you will prevent anyone from reproaching you for not living in the right way. To escape such tests is neither possible nor good, but it is best and easiest not to discredit others but to prepare oneself to be as good as possible. (39d)
• a good man cannot be harmed, either in life or in death (41d)

~Shayla

Tuesday September 6, 2005 @ 12:41 AM
IKEA as motivational therapy...

    Is it sad that looking through the IKEA catalog is the most motivating thing in the world to me? I look through all those pictures of beautiful homes, and it always makes me start thinking about what I want my life to be like down the line. I want the beautiful house, and the smiling family... I want to be well-off enough financially to have a comfortable life, and I need to work hard over the next decade or so to build that foundation. Flipping through that catalog makes me want to jump up and start doing all I can to make that life possible.
    I've always considered the end of summer and the beginning of the school year to be the beginning of the REAL New Year. The years technically change in January, and I'm a whole year older in February, but neither of those times ever seems to have real significance in terms of change.
    The end of summer and the start of school has always brough a million changes. Of course, there are the obvious changes, like breaking back into school, and my mom coming home from up north. Just like last year, although mercifully less painful this time, my friends have all gone back to their universities. But there are other changes too, subtle ones. Each year that Katie and I spend without my mom, we claim a little more freedom, we grow a little more. It's hard for all of us to adapt when she comes back, but this is the time that real change occurs.
    I'm not a kid anymore. I'm nineteen, and over the past year or two I've proven to myself that I can handle my own life. I make enough money that I can take care of my own "wants". This isn't like Mary Ward where I needed my parents or teachers coming down on me to keep up in school -I'm at the top 15% of my class, and I did it on my own. I can make my own decisions, and handle my own life, and I think I'm at the point in my life where my parents realize and accept this.
    I know what the book's going to be about. It came to me yesterday, and after a bit more planning I'm going to write it, and I think it will be all that I've wanted to write. I don't want to talk about the plot or anything here, but the important thing is that I've got it.
    So since this is my own personal New Years, I've been making a couple of resolutions that I'd like for this year:

• I actually want to try in school this year. All my life, everything's come so easy to me, and I've always known that I could get by doing very little and still come out on top. I'm in the top 15% of my class, and I did that with very minimal effort. I've always wondered, if I could do that, what I might be capable of if I put in a stronger effort. So this is the year. Katie and I have made a pact: she will stay on track, and I will actually study and do readings and take notes in class. We've decided to keep the pact for a month for sure, and then negotiate what we want to do from there.
• I want to make use of the exercise facilities at my school, since I'm paying for them anyway and could use the exercise. I'm in the process of convincing Andrew to be my workout buddy. ;)
• I want to set a budget for myself and actually follow it. Tonight I mapped out my financial state, and I'm setting some goals as far as saving my money and spending less on crap. Even a tiny change like bringing food from home instead of buying food will save me a LOT of money.
• Now that I know what to write about, I want to actually write and finish a book. By this time next year, I want at least the first draft completely finished, maybe more.

~Shayla

Friday August 26, 2005 @ 1:55 PM
***NOTICE***

    Due to lack of people up north this weekend, and the property being cut up for water repair, I have decided to stay in Toronto this weekend. I currently have no plans for Saturday, Sunday or Monday, and I'm up for almost anything.
    SO... drop me a line to make plans or just wait for my phone calls. ;)

~Shayla

PS. My house is also free this weekend because my parents are up north... :D

Tuesday August 23rd, 2005 @ 8:54 PM
"How I Spent my Summer Vacation..."

    My computer is finally back. Supposedly, nothing was actually wrong with it. Yeah, yeah, a likely story. :P
    So apparently people are writing entries about their summers (I'm getting this from Claud) so I figure I'll write one too.
    Well really this summers been no different from most of my recently passed ones... Perhaps a bit gloomier, just because I'm not looking forward to going back to school as I usually (sometimes) am. It's just that it used to be that I'd come back to high school and I'd be excited to see friends, and then I was excited about entering first year university... Now I'm just going back to university, and I know what I'm in for, and it's not a whole lot to get excited about. It's just like life right now, except with less Katie and more stress. :P
    I'm thinking maybe I'm just passed the point where life is going to throw me stuff or give me a leg up. Or maybe I'm between leg-ups, to be more optimistic. I can't really complain because life's given me a lot of leg-ups: good friends (most of whom I don't keep in touch with as much as I should), an easy time getting into university, and life really handed Andrew to me on a platter.
    This is just one of those times when you have to give yourself a leg up and make sometime of yourself by yourself, because no one's going to do it for you.
    I should write the goddamn book. It's always been something that I've said I was going to do, and I think I always secretly thought it was something that would just "come" to me or "happen" to me, but it's not. I want to be an author more than I want to be a journalist, or learn about politics, or finish university.
    My goal is to stop procrastinating. I *will* stop procrastinating. I tell myself I should write when I have time, but I will never have any more or less time than I have right now, whether I'm on summer vacation, or in university, or working full time.
    I've started a journal to make notes. I will write in it every day. This will be my log, my inspiration. When the journal is full, it's time to start writing the book, whether I'm ready or not.

~Shayla

Tuesday August 16, 2005 @ 5:47 PM
Life's not fair, but it doesn't matter when it's in your favour

    In just over an hour I'm writing my exam. First off, let me say that I probably don't deserve to pass this exam. Until a week ago, I had only read one of the many articles assigned as readings. Even now, I doubt I've read more than a third of all the readings. I've only gone to one class in the last half of this semester. I've skipped two of the five tutorials.
    So am I crazy for feeling relatively comfortable and prepared right now?
    I've spent the past week lazily doing some of the readings. Today I looked over the list of terms that will be on the exam (my Prof is awesome for giving us this... stupid, maybe, but awesome...), studied them, and now I know them. I also find comfort in my mid-term score, because I studied far less for that (and had done far fewer readings, although I had also attended a far higher percentage of classes) and I did pretty good.
    So am I crazy for thinking I'm prepared for this, or am I actually good enough to learn all I need on an exam in roughly 24 hours?
    We'll know in just over an hour. But personally, I'm not too worried. :)

~Shayla

PS. My home computer's busted, so I don't know when the next time I update will be.

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