.log.


...or check out my xanga...or view my guestbook



010.019.006
Dreamin' up some new spaceships for this site...focal shifts...vocal lifts...local rifts...uh, So-Cal gifts? Anyway, man oh man. I need a computer. ...-izing machine.
008.021.006
"...they were just dead weight to me. Better down the road without that load..."
007.006.006
I just made up a word. "Blunk." It's either the past-tense of blink, or a drunken foreigner trying to say "blood."
005.010.006
Yeah, so May is a little late to bust out the "Best of 2005" list, but here goes...

My Favorite Albums Released In 2005:

1.sufjan stevens "Come On! Feel the Illinoise"
2.denison witmer "Are You A Dreamer?"
3.boards of canada "The Campfire Headphase"
4.stockfinster "All Becomes Music"
5.my morning jacket "Z"
6.brown feather sparrow "Let's Be Fine"
7.rrine "Eaciv"
8.m83 "Before The Dawn Heals Us"
9.thrice "Vheissu"
10.pat metheny group "The Way Up"
11.armor for sleep "What To Do When You Are Dead"
12.sigur ros "Taak..."
13.beck "Guero"
14.the innocence mission "Now The Day Is Over"
15.someone still loves you boris yeltsin "Broom"

My Favorite Albums That I Got In 2005 But Were Not Actually Released In 2005:

1.longwave "The Strangest Things"
2.hum "Downward Is Heavenward"
3.daft punk "Discovery"
4.tears for fears "Tears Roll Down: Greatest Hits"
5.my morning jacket "It Still Moves"
6.one am radio "A Name Writ In Water"
7.mogwai "EP+2"
8.the spirit that guides us "North And South"
9.athlete "Vehicles And Animals"
10.pet shop boys "Please"
11.johnny cash "Live At Folsom Prison"
12.seven storey mountain "Dividing By Zero"
13.feist "Let It Die"
14.mono "Walking Cloud And Deep Red Sky, Flag Fluttered And The Sun Shined"
15.clearlake "Cedars"


I'm getting married June 3rd. Check out my wedding site here.
Hmm...2 months since the last post. I've gotta get on the ball.
003.010.006
Dag, yo. Haven't posted in a month. Well, June 3rd is the date. It was either that, or June 52356.74th, but we couldn't get a thing scheduled for that day.

Pretty soon, I need to post my favorite cds of 2005. I love that stuff. Soon. Reeeal soon.

I'm gonna try to get more pics up soon, too. Check the current ones by clickin' on the photos link over there. I think I'm gonna redesign my site soon, too. F to the freakin' YI.
002.010.006
In case you hadn't heard, as of Feb. 4, 2006, I am offically engaged to be married to Christina Sue Ann Pittman. Isn't her name beautiful? We're shooting for a June 3rd wedding, but that's still unofficial. Anywho, it can't come soon enough, now that events are in motion...
002.001.006
According to Einstein's theory of relativity, Chuck Norris can actually roundhouse kick you yesterday.
001.012.006


"The Final Quest"
by Rick Joyner		So, uh, I'm reading this book. I'm probably 2/3 of the way done with it. It's one of the best, most enlightening books I've read in years. It's based on a series of prophetic visions that God gave this guy. I googled his name, just out of curiosity, and got practically nothing but nasty articles by other Christian people/organizations telling how Rick Joyner is a false prophet, a liar with a god-complex, a Nazi, an advocate of the New World Order, and a demonized man. What's wrong with our Church? I mean, whether or not you believe that these are actual prophetic visions (or believe that people can even have visions at all), there is much truth in this book! Besides, what business is it of mine to pass judgements on someone I don't even know? Why does the Church jump all over itself on every whim? Ironically, this behavior is exactly what this book is addressing. Of course you shouldn't glean doctrine or apologetics from a vision, or something similar, but to not get something from this book, you'd really have to be hard-hearted. I don't understand. At the very least, it's a really interesting story. At best, it's a clear and convicting message for the Church. I'm going to encourage you to read this book. I think it's great. Incidentally, I picked it up at a thrift store for 50 cents. So there it all is.
001.002.006
MERRY NEW YEAR! I've added my first installment of pictures from my family's trip to Illinois/Michigan last summer. I've still got like, 3 more rolls of film to develop, so I'll add some more periodically...as if I were adding pictures for someone else's benefit...but I'm only adding them because I want to...don't expect too much excitement...you weren't there...unless you were there...in which case, "Remember that!??!? Whadda great time, eh!??!?"
012.027.005
Long time ago
The times we had were so and so
It was the worst date of your life
So I called your home your so-called father was on the phone
he wasn't easy to ignore

But we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us
and it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs
It's getting darker and I know this time wasn't meant for us
So won't you please please please come back to me

But yesterday when i saw your eyes in a black haze
You didn't even know my name
So I walked on pretending that you still belong
but it will never be the same no more

But we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us
and it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs
It's getting darker and I know this time wasn't meant for us
So won't you please please please come back to me

It's like a picture of a loved one in disguise or
it's like finding something pretty in a jar of lies and
if you want just hide your eyes behind your hair
but you can't see me then you can't find me anywhere

But we're all happy cause the streets they're always there for us
and it's quite scary when you wake up in the same old clubs
It's getting darker and I know this time wasn't meant for us
So won't you please please please come back to me

Come back to me
Please please please
Please please please

"Please Please Please" by shout out louds
012.025.005
Our lives and minds are fragile.
I'm surprised humans can live as long as they can.
Grace.
Mercy.
Love.

Far as the curse is found.
012.019.005
I don't know what to do. I don't know.
012.001.005
The new version of Firefox is out. If you don't know what Firefox is, then let me be the first to encourage you to stop using Microsoft Internet Explorer, and start browsing the web with Firefox. We must escape from the Microsoft Internet Technology Conglomerate Of Capitalist Totalitarianism... ...the MITCOCT! I think they're changing their name to that...seriously...okay, not seriously. ...okay, well, we don't have to escape, maybe, but a safe distance would be nice, right? Anyway, yeah, get Firefox and we'll all be happier, healthier, more secure people! ...and all your wildest dreams will come true...

And by the way, God is so, so good.
011.029.005
I don't know what to do. I don't know.
011.021.005
I want to write a song, you know, a song the world can live to!
One with beats, so proud and harmful! Melodies to give you!
One with every palette and a dozen tiny fractures!
One with several escapades and masquerades and raptures!
One with every genre and with action and distraction and a million billion moments and a climax of refraction!
One with all my love and one that topples down and crumbles!
One with perfect shimmers full of bleeps'n'blips'n'rumbles!
If only I could do it! (And I know I'll get it done...)
Then we'll all be entertained, and then we'll all be full of fun!



Hey! I added some more pictures to the photos section. ...mostly of Christina and I, but a rad AG pic, too...Arin Gilbert, that is. Oh, and of late I've added a big ol' buncha links--mostly record labels, but some other stuff as well, like wikipedia, which I've been reading a lot on lately. Uh, that's it. Have a good time, nice guys. Don't be afraid. It's gonna be a-ok. Keep yer chin up, me lucky buckos! Don't get down or wear a frown! Everybody dance!
011.004.005
I ordered a coupla mp3 cds offa eBay from a guy in Scotland that had over 90 unreleased tunes by boards of canada. Actually, more than that. He sent me 88 of their unreleased demos, plus 3 live recorded performances. In addition to that, he sent me all of their remixes of other artists' songs (including "Broken Drum from beck's new album), Boc Maxima (which is a one-hour long Boards of Canada mix that was limitedly released), plus other hard-to-find vinyl electronica from Boards of Canada and other bands like aphex twin, rrine, casino versus japan, bola, john peel--it's crazy! I suspect that him selling me that was probably illegal...but I'm glad he did. So now I seem to have stumbled into owning almost all of BOC's music, which can be veiwed here.

I laid in bed last night and thought of things to post on here, but I think I'll post 'em some other time. They're on the serious side, and I don't feel too SeaReEusS!

So I baked blueberry muffins this morning. Brought 'em to work, but it's already 11:30 and no one else has shown up at the office...oh well. Mebbe I'll eat just one more...
011.001.005
Oh, life. What am I to do with it?
010.024.005
According to Google, Here is what Philip needs:

Philip needs me.
Philip needs you.
Philip needs a job.
Philip needs to grow.
Philip needs a day off.
Philip needs a filling.
Philip needs a home fund.
Philip needs our prayers.
Philip needs to lighten up.
Philip needs a distraction.
Philip needs to get a brain.
Philip needs to be strung up.
Philip needs some turf shoes.
Philip needs your help please.
Philip needs a better storyline.
Philip needs 4x No. 2 rbatteries.
Philip needs to MOVE ON himself!
Philip needs to contact his wife.
Philip needs to improve anywhere.
Philip needs a mugshot of himself.
Philip needs a person to help him.
Philip needs to get hit by a truck.
Philip needs to curb his wild ways.
Philip needs to be applied/checked.
Philip needs to go die or something.
Philip needs to replenish his coffers.
Philip needs to get picked on a little.
Philip needs to have things spelled out.
Philip needs to see the dynos yet again.
Philip needs to learn to face the truth.
Philip needs to grow up and find someone.
Philip needs the foothold for the invasion.
Philip needs your strength, not your guilt.
Philip needs extensive personal counseling.
Philip needs to back off and be nice again.
Philip needs your vote for Eurovision glory.
Philip needs someone to answer his questions.
Philip needs you immediately in the Lion room.
Philip needs something else to inflate his ego.
Philip needs a visit from the Christmas Spirit!
Philip needs to start wearing civilian clothing.
Philip needs all the game experience he can get.
Philip needs to buckle down and just concentrate.
Philip needs more exposure to American audiences.
Philip needs a haircut, and his body is too thin.
Philip needs some help with his anger management.
Philip needs M&S like he needs a hole in the head.
Philip needs to access the Time Management screen.
Philip needs to undergo specialized blood testing.
Philip needs to explain some things to his friends.
Philip needs to make a withdrawal to buy groceries.
Philip needs to deny the importance of institutions.
Philip needs to describe his life in physics jargon.
Philip needs Victor to give Nicole the big heave-ho.
Philip needs rapid responses to exceptional requests.
Philip needs some help in cutting some ribbon strips.
Philip needs to get out of his garden shed more often.
Philip needs some gum to stick the photos in the album.
Philip needs little or no introduction to TASHK members.
Philip needs to hear from upper limit chairs about this.
Philip needs the use of the Flying Lady Farm in Sarasota.
Philip needs an update which will be provided by Patrick.
Philip needs a Peter and John to keep the church balanced.
Philip needs to save up for his turbine-powered helicopter.
Philip needs to bring his legs on, particularly hamstrings.
Philip needs to know your TR model and date of registration.
Philip needs Dunster as a sort of gaudy protective coloring.
Philip needs those bricks as soon as we can get them to him.
Philip needs an accurate count of the number of copies in use.
Philip needs opportunities to constructively channel his energy.
Philip needs to send confirmation and money to the coach company.
Philip needs to quit pressuring Belle about going to bed with him.
Philip needs a UK number where his customers can always reach him.
Philip needs to see if he can knock Brees out of the starting role.
Philip needs to start hanging out with some evangelical Christians.
Philip needs to be less like a girly man and more like a manly man.
Philip needs a dose of techno, taken twice a day and not after food.
Philip needs Julius to approve his step to philosophical counsellor.
Philip needs to realize that not everything has to revolve around him.
Philip needs to respect other races and cultures far more the he does.
Philip needs rest and is in no condition to receive a lot of visitors.
Philip needs to lose Chloe forever and just move on to his next victim.
Philip needs some help/expertise on the welding of the cast iron parts.
Philip needs his sleep because he's rarely ever home and he's too tired.
Philip needs just a further ten winners to reach the ninety winner mark.
Philip needs to be functional in order to participate in school and life.
Philip needs to have his head smiling from high atop a pole over Plymouth.
Philip needs to do a little hand holding over there to get them to sell T2.
Philip needs to tell CyberPatrol to allow their profile to have access to it.
Philip needs to find another girl who will love him the way he should be loved.
Philip needs to acknowledge the change in economic conditions between 1999 and 2000.
Philip needs to KNOW, and we need to KNOW that God is always here and always loves us.
Philip needs to stop worrying about his rep, and realize what is right in front of him.
Philip needs to channel his energy to positive play and not be so hard on himself when he makes mistakes.
Philip needs to ask himself "does he handle '0.0.0.0' based on a published standard or a '>' convention?"
Philip needs to say hello to someone outside his ethnic group and/or experiment with some different foods.
Philip needs help on Golden Apple (how to get past the cloud of poisonous gas and how to get the sapphire).
Philip needs to know that she loves him and the loss of the limb does not change her feelings toward him.
Philip needs to get a new line of work, frankly; his current employer doesn't seem to appreciate him that much.
Philip needs to keep current and accurate records of the phone numbers and addresses of all the people that attend church and school.
Philip needs a good deal of attention but is not sufficiently confident to demand it in normal ways and makes himself noticeable by being aggressive towards the younger children.
Philip needs to take more critical care in such contexts, especially given the volatile and polysemous interconnections among language, race, gender and nationality that tend to be winnowed by Philip into polemic.
010.010.005
How about a word definition? I just learned this one today.

Sigger:
To percolate, trickle, or ooze, as water through a crack.
010.007.005
When I have grown and become strange, I may have two children, and/or name them:

  • Blinkeye

    • and

  • Kid.


    • Or not. You'll just have to wait and see.

    You all come here for substance, I know it. For inspiration, instigation, intuition, inattention, and inhalation. Fight inhalation.
    009.030.005
    Some days: The world, when you get out in it, is very perfect and very beautiful--and every spark of light is pristine and every sound is ripe for its moment, and light and sound go out to everywhere from everywhere... The trees are taller than you thought, and the earth is an ocean that hardened so we could build our houses. Everyone is sacred, their words are sacred, their movements are sacred...and I am in the sunshine, and you are in the restaraunt or the music store or the coffehouse or on your bike or on your computer or in your house, and you are sacred. ...and I know this.
    009.026.005
    I went to Vinita, OK this weekend with some members of the Springfield Vineyard worship team. We led some worship to help dedicate the new building for the Hope Vineyard there in Vinita.

    I talked to one of the sound guys for quite awhile. He told me about getting his $10,000 custom guitar smashed by skinheads on the Springfield square once, and how he rallied support from the local bars and went after the guys with golf clubs. He told me about doing sound for Barbara Fairchild. He told me about how chatrooms couldn't kick him out because he has "a bunch of programs running." He told me about the girl who stole his heart. He wasn't ever very believable, and he didn't smell great but he was a nice guy. I hope he's doin' just fine!

    We ate a lot of food. They fed us a lot. It was fun.

    I wish I had something great to say. But I don't right now. Check out my xanga. I wrote a poem.
    009.023.005
    I got an email about the One Thing conference coming up in KC in Dec. At the bottom of the ad was this line:

    "Now is the time to set our hearts to one thing...burning the bridges that lead back to boring lives of spiritual compromise."

    It made me hurt. I feel like I toss pennies from those bridges all day long. I don't really know what to do about it...
    It just hurt, that's all.
    009.014.005
    Last night it stormed a lot. I had a dream that I was on a jetski. It started to sink. I swam it back to the rental dock and told them it was sinking when I tried to ride it. They gave me another jetski that was shaped like a shark. It worked just fine. On the school bus (?) on the way back to Christina's house, I felt sad. Christina lived on a nice ranch with manicured hedges and verandas and gazebos and whatnot...very LANDSCAPED... She was sitting in a quiet, shaded grotto on a stone bench built into the wall, and reading a book. It was beautiful. For some reason, I still felt sad. I awoke with thoughts of sleeping. I was late for work.
    009.001.005
    Note to self: A grits and frappuccino breakfast does not set well in the digestive department...
    008.029.005
    I dunno what to do with myself. Help me.
    008.019.005
    869-3496. That was Christina's phone number when I first met her. Yesterday, I couldn't remember what it was, and my sentimental self suffered. But that's it. Arin mentioned her old number on the phone today. Don't call it now; I have no idea who you'll get. It won't be Christina. I don't want to forget. Okay. I'm done. I'm pathetic. I'm sorry. I'll try not to talk about Christina in every post from now on. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I just love her.
    008.016.005
    I just had a brief digression...
    I was staring blankly out of my office window, and I imagined Jesus standing on the corner giving me the "come here" motion, then turning and heading the other way. I was suddenly excited to slide these headphones off my head and follow him down the road...leave all this behind. About then, I realized that I should just get back to work, and that I didn't want to leave Christina behind, and I was considerably saddened. I thought of taking her with me, and I felt better. She means the most to me. ...the most of all other things in my life.

    Anyway, for a moment there, I suddenly rose above all I know and own; my need for life itself slipped away for a moment, and I felt myself yearn for a cave in a mountain to spend a year, or for a road to walk for a year, or for my belongings to die to me...and I felt that desire to put it all in its place. Of course, the Realm of Unimportance is where all my cares really already are--at least to everything but my mind. I'm babbling. I need a day or two to hash this out before it's intelligible, but I know as soon as I go back to work this will all be gone from me...
    008.009.005
    If you wanna hear some great music, go here: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! That's all for now.
    008.002.005
    Hmm...well, the trip was great. Michigan is beautiful and so is Christina. I'm so glad Christina came with my family and I on that trip... I'd have been sad or not gone at all if she hadn't gone. It was awesome. She's awesome.
    Anyway, hangin' is hangin' on, and hangin' on is hangin' tough, so there. I've gotten a whole truckload of deep elm cds as of late. They had a special sale where you could get all 10 Emo Diaries cds for only $40, then they send you coulple of cds for free, plus stickers and pictures and all that jazz. Anyway, I have a couple of other new cds, and I feel like I'm swimmin' in music. It's crazy!

    A bit too crazy, perhaps...

    It's noon. On Wednesday. I miss...things. I want these things. I need things, too. I wish I knew what to do. *sigh* Brent's workin' on my amp. Corey bought me new tubes! He's the A-One greatest!

    I'll try and write on here more. Sorry to anyone who bothers to read this muddled mess.
    007.019.005
    I'm in Grand Rapids, MI!!!!! Everyone's jealous!! You all throw tomatoes!!! Boo! Hiss! You lament, "Philip is so lucky and I am not so lucky!"

    Today, we got up at 6:00 AM and rode the blinkin' Metra (not Metro) into downtown Chicago, where we were Monday night. We did the touristy thing on Navy Pier, then went to the Chicago Institute of Art and saw art by the likes of (but not limited to) Renoir, Monet, Degas, Klee, Toulouse-Lautrec, Pollack, Rembrandt, Picasso, Seurat, Rodin, Dali, Warhol, O'Keefe...

    Then we drove to Michigan. Oh, the bliss! Bliss. Bliss. Bliss. Uh...searched for hotels and now it's now and I'm leaving. Good fortune to you all and please don't be quite so jealous as to hit me with tomatoes.
    007.014.005
    It's like, 2 hours long, but this is a great radio show with Sufjan Stevens: http://www.wnyc.org/shows/spinning/episodes/07012005

    I love it.
    007.004.005
    Merry 4th. I don't know what to do with myself today. My girl's outta town and I don't have motivation to do anything. I...I don't know. I don't even wanna be on the internet. ...so bye.
    007.003.005
    I saw some fireworks tonight. I played my keyboard for people. I sang a song or two. I got praises (and the occasional heckle) for my new haircut, compliments of Christina. Sufjan Stevens is my hero again with his release of "Illinois."
    006.028.005
    I got a new bike on Saturday. It's a green Gary Fisher. Cost me an arm and/or a leg.
    006.027.005

    July:



    Yeah, I'm pretty excited.

    006.024.005
    "Two Conversations" by the appleseed cast is definitely one of my favorite albums ever. I've been listening to it a lot over the last few days...and have come to this conclusion. Thank you.
    006.023.005
    So, pretty much every day on the news you can find out how many Americans died in Iraq...someone always makes sure to put it out there to show us all how dangerous it is, and to highlight the stupidity of the American presence (and--perhaps somewhat inadvertently--the viciousness of Iraqi radicals). I wonder what would happen if the news started posting the death toll of Americans who died at the hands of other Americans every day? It's a whole lot more than in Iraq. Publicity: The condition of being public. Interesting. We Americans are so jaded. We're making beds in a burning house.
    006.021.005
    Most of the time,
    I only half-know what I'm doing.
    006.013.005
    little child, be not afraid
    though rain pounds harshly against the glass
    like an unwanted stranger, there is no danger
    I am here tonight

    little child, be not afraid
    though thunder explodes and lightning flash
    illuminates your tear-stained face
    I am here tonight

    and someday you'll know
    that nature is so
    the same rain that draws you near me
    falls on rivers and land
    on forests and sand
    makes the beautiful world that you'll see
    in the morning

    little child, be not afraid
    though storm clouds mask your beloved moon
    and its candlelight beams, still keep pleasant dreams
    I am here tonight

    little child, be not afraid
    though wind makes creatures of our trees
    and their branches to hands, they're not real, understand
    and I am here tonight

    for you know, once even I was a
    little child, and I was afraid
    but a gentle someone always came
    to dry all my tears, trade sweet sleep for fears
    and to give a kiss goodnight

    well now I am grown
    and these years have shown
    that rain's a part of how life goes
    but it's dark and it's late
    so I'll hold you and wait
    'til your frightened eyes do close

    and I hope that you'll know...

    everything's fine in the morning
    the rain'll be gone in the morning
    but I'll still be here in the morning

    --vienna teng
    006.010.005
    Last night I took Christina's bicycle out and rode around for awhile. It was wonderful. I think I'm going to try and get my own bicycle this Saturday. I can ride it to work, or around downtown, and it's very relaxing. I haven't had a bike in years. I rode for awhile through that cemetary on Grand. It's dark and much quieter in there. I miss living in the country simply because cities are so busy and NOISY. God knew we needed quiet...built us for it...told us we should "be still"...I need to take that command more seriously, more often. Oh, and I'm aching to get married to Christina. Just so ya know. I hope it all comes together soon. I need her.
    005.024.005

    I hope she can see me from the cold, dark moon.
    The earth is so small from her point of view.
    I'm only speck near the ocean blue.
    And she's my most beautiful girl.

    005.019.005
    Last night, Christina and I celebrated 2 magical years of dating bliss. I took her out to Arde's Villa; she had some weird kinda fish I'd never heard of (mahi mahi?), and I had a medium-rare tuna steak. It was good. Love is good...

    Then we went back to her apartment and watched "In Living Color". Season 3. Disc 3. That was good, too. Goin' ta see "Star Wars: Episode !!!" tonight. Sweet-O.
    005.005.005
    Today's date is amusing.

    I hope I'm doing well here at my new* job. Granted, I'm not working at this moment, but I hope that I'm learning quickly, and will be asked to stay on working here. Just thinking about it makes me want to get back to work...I hate proving myself...it's so stressful.
    ...must...expand...skillset...
    ...need...more...knowledge...
    I do enjoy it here. Scott and Chad are great. I must do well. I must.

    *Okay, it's more like an internship, but it's a second job to me.
    004.028.005
    Workin' hard, bustin' it out...having lotsa parse and fatal errors. ...gotta figger it out...
    004.012.005
    Grey day. Melancholy. Worry, love, fear, joy. I'm okay, though. Save the angels for the people who really need them. Send your strength to them tonight, Lord. Send your protection to them.
    003.013.005
    Sometimes, it's fun to just move your fingers over one space and try to type something.

    Everybody calls me a foolhardy rugrat.

    ...becomes:


    .wcwetvidt xKKS NE diikdEST EYFEr,
    002.026.005
    Today was fun! Christina and I went Thrift Store Shopping in Aurora and Mt. Vernon. We got all kindsa cool stuff! I just went and got ice cream with Arin and Lauren. That was good times, too.

    I hafta add a coupla albums to my 2004 favorites list--honorable mentions, really.

    dead poetic -- "New Medicines"
    demon hunter -- "Summer Of Darkness"

    Okay. That's it for now. Remember: "As you go through life, don't lose sight of the...sights."
    002.012.005
    Uh, I purged my log again. Well, I left the entry about brandishment. I like that one... I read through all my entries this time, though...many significant events in this seemingly dull year:

    My parents bought me a new car.
    My new car threw a rod through the block.
    I got a new engine for my car.
    I lived through the "lean weeks on Delmar."
    Jason took me in when I was homeless.
    I finally got a job after months of searching.
    I joined a band.
    My mom's diabetes got really bad--then got amazingly better.
    My sister got a job teaching in Aurora.
    My grandpa died.
    Christina's grandpa died.

    If 2004 had a theme for me, it would be faithfulness. I wish I could relay my simultaneous joy and sorrow over remembering all these things. But it's something you have to experience--to trust in God even when you're broke, homeless, jobless, and losing family members...and still come out praising God--not for your circumstances, but for who He is in the midst of circumstances. God's strength is unstoppable. I don't know how I made it, but I ran to God instead of running from Him, and I know it's made all the difference. It helps to have a great girl with you, too...

    I've decided to list my favorite albums that "I got my hands on" in 2004. They aren't all '04 releases, but sometimes, you just get in on the good stuff way too late...
    In order, baby:

    1. sufjan stevens -- "Michigan"
    2. erlend oye -- "Unrest"
    3. the notwist -- "Neon Golden"
    4. iron and wine -- "Our Endless Numbered Days"
    5. boards of canada -- "Geogaddi"
    6. kings of convenience -- "Riot On An Empty Street"
    7. sufjan stevens -- "Seven Swans"
    8. the killers -- "Hot Fuss"
    9. dntel -- "Life Is Full Of Possibilities"
    10. explosions in the sky -- "The Earth Is Not A Cold Dead Place"

    Pretty mellow this year...interesting...
    004.030.004
    This entry is divided into two (2) parts:

  • some thoughts
  • brandishment

    • some thoughts

  • This morning as I drove, the sun was behind me, and in front of me was the darkest-grey cloudy sky. Sunshine with dark clouds always reminds me of when I was in Scotland. Overcast skies constrain me to listen to .hopesfall., but in a pinch, sigur ros will do.
  • Today, my dad said, "...we should take the shovel back to the folks..." Then he checked himself, because grandma's alone now, and "the folks" is now the same place, but at a different time. Now, I bet he'll prob'ly just call it "Mom's" when he checks himself.
  • In the picture above my parents' stove, I look kind of high because my eyes never open very wide. My mom is standing between Christina and I...Christina's hair is really short in that picture. It looks good, but I like where it's at right now, too. I'm glad that picture is on display. It's wunnerful; and mom always looks so nice.
  • My dad and I went by Miller High School today. Memories didn't come back. Feelings did. I felt alone and depressed; and desperate and aloof. The feelings were familiar and distinctly connected to the school. I wonder if I felt like that in high school, but just didn't realize it. I seriously suspect that I did. That's a lil' bit disturbing. No wonder kids get crazy then look back and say, "I must've been crazy..."
  • I think I want a cd by mogwai; and one by stereolab.

    • brandishment

    Whoever came up with the brandish should be awarded...with something. I'd like to meet the first man to successfully brandish something. Brandishing is excellent, wouldn't you agree? There is naught else more impressive than a weapon in mid-brandish. I need something to brandish! O, to join the ranks of brandishers-gone-by! Long live brandishment!
    001.015.004
    Here are my personal top 10 albums from 2003. I deliberated long and hard about these rankings, and honestly, the order of the first three is somewhat conjectural--any of them may well have taken the number one position. At any rate, here's what I decided:

    1. thrice - The Artist In The Ambulance
    2. the appleseed cast - Two Conversations
    3. this beautiful mess - Temper The Wind To The Shorn Lamb
    4. brown feather sparrow - Wide Awakens Everything
    5. celldweller - Self-titled
    6. copeland - Beneath Medicine Tree
    7. the evan anthem - Prologue
    8. afi - Sing The Sorrow
    9. brandtson - Death And Taxes EP
    10. the fire theft - Self-titled

    Here are the ones that almost made it:

    anberlin - Blueprints For The Black Market
    sleeping at last - Ghosts
    faith massive - 2EdgedSword
    acceptance - Black Lines To Battlefields

    Well, that's enough of that. Have a great day/night!
    012.020.003
    ...we can actually experience the God of the Universe, and know Him not by merely characteristics, but a deeper impression of His heart, expressed in our own spirits.
    011.001.003
    Yeah, I purged my log. ...didn't even read over it, just highlight, delete. All the memories, fun, and misdeeds of a year-gone-by...okay, well, I kept that one entry from last January about the favorite albums...but I just like that sort of thing. Oh well. I'll fill it all back up soon enough. [insert social commentary] [insert insightful observation] [insert random comment] [insert clever salutation]
    001.009.003
    Heya. Just thought I'd list my personal favorite albums of 2002. In order, baby.

    1. .hopesfall. - The Satellite Years (by a huge margin)
    2. taking back sunday - Tell All Your Friends
    3. blindside - Silence
    4. twothirtyeight - You Should Be Living
    5. dwayne roberts - One Thing I Desire