I'm 46 years young. I've been married to the same lovely lady for almost 20 years. I have a son who is 16 years old. Yes, they both know. My wife, as she is with all things in my life, is my greatest support system. My son is doing okay with it. We have had several talks about it. Mostly questions on how this affects his own sexuality and being.

 

My story does not differ that much from everyone else. I started dressing in my mom's stuff at about age 5 or so. I was busted by Mom at least a couple of times. She never found me in her clothes, but the clothes of hers that I thought I had hidden in my bedroom found their way back to her room. She never confronted me, nor did she embarrass me with it. That is her way, for I do not know of a kinder soul on this earth. I continued to dress around the house, until I outgrew everything that my Mom had. At that point I stopped dressing. A dark time for me. An odd thing then happened which I did not pay attention to until much later in life. As I started to date, I found myself buying my girlfriends clothing for gifts. Which is odd for a teenage boy. I now feel that was an outlet for not being able to dress myself. This went on for many years. Even into my marriage. I have probably purchased 90% of my wife's clothing. Then one night I put on one of her slips and I had such a rush of emotion that it scared me to death. As Datti and others said: thanks for the computer and the Internet. What a great feeling to find out that I was not alone.

A great moment then came about. I met two very special people, (via the Internet at first, then in person) Sharon and Paula Huber. They took me under their wing, and into a place of safety. They not only helped me with the outer look, but more important they helped me with my inner being and how I felt about me. This allowed me to tell my wife. As I told you earlier she is my biggest support system, as she is with all things in life. I think I had sold her short. I think I also spent too much time dwelling on all the negative things that could occur instead of the life we had together. I'm not sure how this would have worked out had it not for the help from dear friends Paula and Sharon. I look at them as my Crossdressing Mom and Mom. :-)

During this time, I became aware of Tri-Ess through some girls I had gotten to know via the Internet in Atlanta and Minnesota. I had an opportunity to visit Atlanta and their Tri-Ess. I was taken back by the outflow of sister-hood. I continued to talk to all my new sisters in Atlanta and Minnesota via e-mail. I was then put in contact with Diane and DeeDee who were in the old Denver Delta Tri-Ess. I was informed that it had folded. We decided to try to put it back together. E-mails where then sent out and we had the first meeting in May of 2000. As they say, the rest is history. The best part of this journey is the people that have come into my life. The support from all my new friends has allowed my life to come so far.

The biggest hurdle I had to overcome was dealing with the why question. Why must I dress? Why do I have these feelings? Once I decided that these questions served no purpose, it went a long way in allowing both sides of my being to unite as one soul. At times I felt like Sybil. I know that I move from side to side on the Gender scale. Sometimes I move far to the femme side and that scares me. Then at times I move a little to the masculine side of center. So the struggle goes on for balance. What the future holds I do not know. I do know that I now look forward to it with eyes wide open.

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