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feeling
i read this birthday card...it said, "birthdays are like blackjack...anything over 21 is bad." ha. and hallelujah! (dude did i even speel that correctly?) ha. i can see it. my metabolism is slowing down. i can no longer go to mcdonalds or wendys everyday and not gain weight like i did in high school. i'm toting all this extra weight and thinking it's all muscle. well, it could be. ha. i certainly work out more, and have been doing some weights. but, yes, i'd be lying to myself if i said i haven't gained any fat. but, i have. my weight fluctuated in college...but i think i just had that one fat year because i was terribly depressed for the most part of that year. but, i think, and i hope, my body has found its happy weight. i like my body now. but it's that vulnerability of unhealthiness and weight gain that i know comes with age. and then it's like the time to establish yourself a career, and a family. i certainly want both of those things. but i certainly don't feel very ready for them, as of yet. although, career isn't that far off...i'm ready for that...but, i'm really ansty about the family thing. kids? now? ha. maybe when i meet the right person to spend the rest of my life with i'll be ready for kids... ha. and what else reminds me of aging, and getting older...music and movies. those teenage coming of age movies are certainly not "mine". mine was the "breakfast club", "sixteen candles", all those john hughes flicks. and the teeny-boppers of today aren't "mine". mine were nkotb and new edition. man! have things changed... you start to feel old when you start criticizing kids of today. you know you have a generation beneath you and you start saying how rude they are and how things were different at your time. maybe this is all the things everybody feels when they get older. it's a cycle. and you seem to resemble your parents in their judgements...
you know you're old when you start complaining about becoming old...and i know, i know, some of ya may be saying, damn! 22??? that's not old...you're hella young...well, i guess you're right...
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