ShortStories2

SS 1 | SS 2 | SS 3 | SS 4 | SS 5 | SS 6 | SS7

Inside Macy's Mind

I balanced the laundry basket on my hip as I opened Macy's bedroom door. Her bed was un-made, dirty clothes were strewn all over the floor, and empty pop cans decorated her nightstand and dresser. I put the basket on the bed, pulled out her trashcan from underneath her desk and went to work. I flipped on the stereo switch, only to be startled by the loud, blaring racket that filled the room. I quickly shut it off, and searched through her rumpled sheets for the television remote. I was just in time to catch the afternoon news. I began gathering the pop cans into the trash as I listened to the late breaking news report. A baby had been found in a dumpster behind a local hospital two nights ago. A moment later, I quickly turned the television off. I couldn't bear listening to how a woman could be so cruel as to throw her child away as if it was just a piece of trash. Luckily it had been an unseasonably warm winter, and al though the baby was in critical condition, it was sure to survive. As I sat on Macy's bed , I looked at the picture on her nightstand of the two of us last summer. Once again, I shuddered at the thought of the woman who threw away her baby. It had been a hard decision for me to keep Macy. I was only seventeen when I got pregnant, and I knew I would have to raise her alone, but I couldn't bear to give away my precious baby. Although at this moment, she wasn't quite so precious.   I got up and began making her bed. Under her pile of pillows, I saw her journal. Hesitating a moment, but then opening it slowly. She had been so distant for the last several months. I knew it was wrong to do such a thing, but I just wanted to make sure my baby was okay. She was at school and wouldn't be home for several hours, so I figured I could just glance through it quickly and leave her bed un-made. Macy would never notice.

April 19, 2001
Dear Diary,
Today was my sixteenth birthday. Mom threw me a surprise party and invited all my friends. I guess it would have been okay if she hadn't made it a retro theme! My friends all said it was pretty cool, but I thought I was going to die of embarrassment when Mom and Aunt Suzie started dancing and singing to "We are Family."   I guess it's the thought that counts, although I would have preferred a red convertible on my driveway over a party. Jay says he has a special surprise for me tomorrow. Unfortunately, tonight was his first day at Luigi's Pizza, so he couldn't come to my party. In a way I'm glad. He would have said it was pretty lame. I can't wait till tomorrow to see what he has planned for me.

I felt a little disappointed that Macy didn't have a good time at her party. I didn't mean to embarrass her. In fact, Suzie and I had gone through a lot of trouble to rent a special disco ball and bead curtains. I didn't know what she saw in that thug boyfriend of hers. I had seen the special surprise she had gotten from him. It was a cheap teddy bear. What did a sixteen year old want with a teddy bear? Even I, her mother with the lame ideas, knew better than to get her one. I rolled my eyes as I continued to flip through the journal.

July 4, 2002
Dear Diary,
Today is the fourth of July. As usual there was a huge community celebration down at Wood Creek Park. All my friends spent the whole day at the park, but I only joined them after the sun had gone down. It was too unbearably hot. Mom had gotten me a really cute patriotic bikini top and white cut offs to wear. But, I didn't feel like wearing it because I knew I would look too fat in it. Plus, I just don't feel like being exposed to all those lovey-dovey couples chasing each other around and holding hands all day. I'm still really broken-hearted about Jay. I've called him and left so many messages, but he never returns my calls. Now he's dating Gretchen Bankcroft. She's a cheerleader and really rich and popular. I can't compare to her I guess. That's why Jay doesn't even look at me when I pass him in town.

My poor baby, why can't she see how much better she is than that punk Jay? No
wonder she's been so quiet and sad for the past few months. She's so young. There's no need for her to mope around for so long over some loser.   Maybe I should send her to church camp next summer, so she can meet some nice boys.

October 31, 2001
Dear Diary,
Today is Halloween. I wasn't invited to any Halloween parties. I can tell Mom is worried about me. She thinks I'm becoming a recluse. She keeps nagging me about going out with my friends instead of sitting around the house and eating all the time. I got rid of that stupid teddy bear that Jay got me for my birthday. That's the only part of his birthday surprise I can throw away. I wish I could switch schools, so I wouldn't have to see him and Gretchen making kissy-faces in the halls! I can't even eat pizza with out thinking of that creep.

Why didn't she just tell me she wanted to switch schools? I would have done anything to cheer her up from this funk she's been in. Maybe during Christmas break I'll talk to her about it, and I can switch her over to another school by the next semester. I hate that Jay has her this worked up. But maybe she's over it by now. She seemed to be in a great mood this morning.   I was surprised to see her look so happy. I flipped over to the last diary entry.

December 17, 2001
Dear Diary,
I finally got rid of every last memory of Jay's special birthday surprise. I hated carrying that scar around with me for nine months. Night and day I had to think about him and the mass that was growing inside of me. I had to worry about what I was going to do with that baby since Jay certainly wasn't wanting to have a part in its' life. But on Halloween night, after I wrote my journal entry, the solution came to my mind. I decided to throw it away just like I threw away that damned useless teddy bear he gave to me as part of my special surprise. At least now I'm free from him and from worrying about that baby. I'm sure someone will find her, and if no one does, maybe an angel will take her up to Heaven. She'll be better off.