Rain, Alcohol, and Other Odd Things
By Kunoichi Jun

Note: I, the author or as some call me, play the part of Dagger. I just slightly changed my name! Nothing different, I’m still my same creepy self! :) Slight Cloud bashing in this one. I sorta bash him a lot. Eh, oh well. He was just acting weird actually so that’s normal! :) I figured comedy was better than my awful attempts at romance, angst type of writings! ^_^ So here is the latest! Oh and the title really has nothing to do with the story! (that little thing with ‘Dagger’ has nothing to do with FF9)

Yuffie: Hey, Vinnie? Did ya know that rain drops are really something?
Vincent: ........ Something?
Yuffie: Yeah, now ya get my drift! Something!
Author: Yuffie! This isn’t how the story goes!
Yuffie: Gawd, you’re so boring!
Author: Whatever.
Cid: $#@%^*! She just pulled a Squall!
Author: Hey! Do you want to be in your tutu costume, again?
Cid: I’m shuttin’ up! Besides pink isn’t my color.....
*somewhere in a forest*
Bambi: *is disturbed*
Vincent: You just had to add that didn’t you?
Author: Heh....
Barret: Don’tcha mention it to her foo’!
Yuffie: Gawd! Where did ya come from?!
Barret: Jes over dere.
Yuffie: Where?
Vincent: Not again.
Barret: Right there!
Vincent: Is this the punishment for my sins?
Author: Ignore them.
Cid: $#@^ do you even now whatcha writin’ about #$%^*?
Author: Maybe.
Vincent: I take that as a no....
Author: That’s besides the point! ANY ways, ahem... Alfred..... er I mean Cloud come here!
Cloud: Hee-haw. Wait that’s the Don’s line.
Tifa and Aeris walk in.
Tifa: Don?
Aeris: Where?
Tifa and Aeris: We’ll kill em’!
Author: ok.....
Tifa: Hey, Cloud? I want to shop for some new skirts! This one isn’t short enough! Come with me!
Cloud: .......... Aeris are you going?
Aeris: Sure!
Cloud: Ok! Let’s mosey!
Aeris and Cloud walk off.
Tifa: *is pouting*
Author: Heh, heh, ha, ha, HA-HA!
Sephiroth materializes.
Sephiroth: Quit acting evil.
Author: You shouldn’t talk.
Sephiroth: Curses! You got me there.
Cloud, Aeris, and Tifa re-enter.
Vincent: That was quick.
Tifa: Aeris found some flowers and she wanted to put them in some water before we left.
Aeris: Lalalah! ..... hm?
Aeris looks at Cloud who is holding a bellflower.
Cloud: I wonder if I could smoke this?
Aeris: Cloud!
Aeris hits Cloud over the head with her Princess Guard. Yuffie and Barret stop talking about ‘where’ after they see this.
Barret: Whoa!
Yuffie: I didn’t know Aeris could be so violent! COOL!
Sephiroth: Neat.
Aeris: Do you think so?
Sephiroth: Yes. You should join me. Together we could take over the world! Mwhahahahahahaha-
Author: Stop it you’re giving me the creeps!
Sephiroth: mwaha.........
Tifa: Geez, Cloud quit studding the flower.
Cloud: I swear I’m getting off drugs!
Cid: Always knew that ^%$#* kid was messed up!
Aeris: Stop picking on Cloud! Teehee! Cloud I believe it’s time for your daily nap!
Cloud: *sniffle* They all hate me!
Cloud runs out of his Coasta Del Sol villa and Aeris and Tifa are close behind.
Author: Nice work Cid! *calls after Cloud* Here Cloud have a mentose! The fresh maker!
Sephiroth: Ooh! Can I have one?!
Author: Aahh, why not? Sure.
Vincent: Right. I thing I’ll go back in my coffin now.
Yuffie: Aww! Come on Vinnie! Stop being so dull!
Author: Do you want a ‘fresh maker’ mint, too?
Vincent: ............
Cid: @#%^& up girl.
Barret: Ya have no room to talk addicted- to- smokes foo’!
Cid: Same for ya, ya Mr. T reject! Sephiroth: Case closed.
Author: True. True.
Yuffie: Vincent! Can we?! Can we?!
Vincent: ......... no.
Yuffie: Please! Pretty please!
Vincent: Fine.
Yuffie: Yeah! Let’s go to my room!
Vincent and Yuffie leave.
Author: I don’t want to know.
Sephiroth: I’d have to agree.
CId: %^%$#*@! Do you have any more mentose?
Author: Nope, sorry.
Cid: ^&**^&^%$#$@# &^*%(!^%%!
Sephiroth: Why don’t we go get some, uh Author?
Author: Okay.
Sephiroth and the ‘Author’ dematerialize.
Cid: This is ^&%$@# boring!
Barret: I hear ya foo’!


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