burning is my thing i do when i am feeling my worst.
it hurts so badly. but it makes me feel better inside. where cutting falls short, burning takes over.
it doesn't hurt afterwards if you burn the same spot long enough, and it is easy to pass off as burns from cooking or as a scrape.
burning is painful and allows me to feel complete release from everything. i hold the flames from the lighter onto my skin until it turns white...and god it kills but god it fills me.
i know that this is all fucked up.. but maybe someday you will understand. or maybe you already do. but this is my life right now. this is what keeps me alive.

*********ok update. I THOUGHT it didn't hurt afterwards, but that was right after i did it, like for 3 days after it didn't feel like ANYTHING because i burned it all so bad that the skin was just dead and hard. however, after about five days, the skin started to become soft and it begin to blister and scab. i dont want to get into it, becuase it is disgusting. but basically i had to go to the ER 2 times because it became infected bad enough to give me a fever and to put me on some antibiotics. It sucked. i had to lie through my teeth to about 8 people at the ER and the majority of them KNEW i was lying because of my other scars on my arm. one guy was such an ass about it too.
i rarely ever burn, but if i do, i will take care NOT to do it so long because i treated it well this time and it still got infected. you can't pass off more than one burn, really. people will just start to wonder and ask questions. you know....god i know this is all fucked up. like i have this huge plan for my mutilation...like it's so long-term. you know what though, before this one burn, i cut ONCE in 3 months or more. that is good. that's why there weren't any updates. i didn't have anything to say really. and it wasn't that i was doing well or anything, i just was using new methods of coping. i think that's really good. i just dont know if i can do that....i like mutilation. in fact, i kind of have this urge to cut. sigh.

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these are burns from approximately March 8th or 9th. the pictures were put up on March 27, at 5am. no sleep for me yet. PLEASE BE WARNED THESE PICTURES ARE VERY VERY VERY GRAPHIC!! get off this page before they download if you have weak stomach or are unstable. thank you.

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You know, you know how it is with me, baby. You know, you know I just can't STAND myself. It takes a whole lot of medicine...for me to pretend that I'm somebody else...