mY gIgGLeS tO sCrEaMs
i wAnNa jUsT gO iNsAnE
aNd YeLL mY pAiN
sO aLL tHe f*cKiNg nEgAtiVe pEoPLe
cAn cRy wItH mE
aNd We'LL hAvE a BaLL
iN oUr sUiCiDe gOwNs
nOThInG iS fOrEvEr
yOu WiLL tUrN YeLLoW sOoN Grrrrl
sOmEtHiNg wILL KiLL yOu iF yOu dOn'T
eVeRy WorD yOu sPeWed wAs uNtRue
i WaNnA f*cKiNg KiLL yOu
*****
my thinking is so distorted right now
thoughts so abstract and messy fill my head
but it is comforting in a sense
i cannot stop staring
at that thick bluish vein
that runs through my wrist
pulsating steadily
with one quick twist
the escape i long for
the escape
****
anger
bitter pulsating madness
flows hotly through my mind
i struggle for the stinging words
i just can't seem to find
you ripped me apart
and i cannot give ANYMORE!!
blood all over my face
writhing on the tile floor
twisting turning BURNING cuts
mommy says she LOVES me
but
i FEEL SO ALONE
i am so cold
****
i push it deeper inside me
relishing each drop of red blood that trickles down
no one hears it drip
no one else feels the sting
i am sick of being wiped clean
and of you saying
you know me
you DON'T.
you never have
and I scream out
until my throat begins to bleed
i try to tell you
how much you've become to me
so why the hell do you push me aside
like i'm nothing
i feel like nothing
but i always have
i don't want your pity
i want your love
i want you near me
i want you to try to understand
EVERYONE HAS LET ME DOWN
THEY HAVE LET ME ROT
THE CORE OF ME IS BITTER
IT'S FINALLY COMING OUT
SO SORRRRRY IF THIS OFFENDS YOU
BUT I HAVE FELT ANIHILATED FOR YEARS
I WANT TO SMASH IN YOUR FACE AND RIP OUT YOUR HAIR
HATE YOU
YOU MAKE ME SICK.
*
washed away faded colors
i am reduced to
a frail quivering
little PIECE OF FLESH
no matter how i try
you can always wrap your little fingers around me
you've managed to cut off my life supply
I CAN ONLY GIVE SO MUCH
BUT STILL YOU TAKE AND TAKE AND TAKE
I AM WALKING ON THE EDGE OF INSANITY
AND YOU'RE MAKING ME BREAK
so please i weep
i plead
i beg
just leave me the fuck alone
that's all i ask of you
just leave me the fuck alone
let me die
let me cry
let me bleed
let me be washed clean
let me SURVIVE
i was going to write soemthing here
but nevermind
i am going to go cut myself instead.
because i can't deal
with people any longer....
everyone is so fucked up
me too
and to a special someone......FUCK YOU. YES FUCK YOU...I tried to love you. but you are HURTING ME SO BADLY. AND I WAS SO THERE FOR YOU..