HOW TO KNOW WHEN YOU'RE IN CALIFORNIA You make over $250,000 a year and still can't afford a　house. It's sprinkling outside, so you leave for work an hour　early to avoid　all the weather-related accidents. Your child's third grade teacher has purple hair, a　nose ring, and is named Breeze. You can't remember ... is pot legal? You've been to a baby shower for an infant who has two　mothers and a sperm donor. You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee　beans are　grown, and can taste the difference between Sumatran　and Ethiopian. You know which restaurant serves the freshest arugula. You can't remember ... is pot legal? A really great parking space can move you to tears. The guy in line at Starbucks, wearing the baseball　ap, sunglasses, and looks like George Clooney, IS George Clooney. Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment. Your hairdresser is straight, your plumber is gay, and　your Mary Kay　rep is a guy in drag. It's sprinkling outside, and there's a report on every　news channel　about   "THE STORM!" Hey ... is pot legal? Over 85% of the cities, towns, and streets start with　San, Los, El,  La, Santa, De La, or De Los. Two overcast days in a row drive you mad. A family of four owns six vehicles. Everyone who lives here knows that hurricanes,　tornadoes, floods  and   snowstorms are way worse than earthquakes, which　are, after　 all, over almost as soon as you realize what's　happening. Even if the store is across the street, you drive　there. Yeah, you're sure...? pot is legal.  And finally, a　question: Q. How many Californians does it take to screw in a　light bulb? A. None. Californians cannot afford to turn on the　lights.