Battle Of The Blondes

© Sweet-Kisses™

~*~

Nick rushed into the hospital in a hurry, not really caring about the people who seemed to recognize him, only caring about the person he had his heart set on seeing again. He knew that he’d been somewhat paranoid when it had come to Britney and Justin and he knew that the Enquirer published any old story just to sell and make their millions of dollars to keep printing gutter trash, but just the sight of them together had just been too much to bear. And combined with him being away from Britney, it had hurt more than he had expected. He knew Britney had been right about him.

It was him that had told her to gain closure with Justin and to begin a new life with him, and once that life was over, a better one for her, with him, could just as quickly start. And all the better for them both if that happened. He knew that it was him who had suggested that in the beginning, that it would be a good idea for Britney to confront Justin, tell him exactly what she thought of him, threaten him with legalities if he didn’t leave her alone and gracefully make her departure, out of Justin’s life and into Nick’s. And that’s what they both wanted, what they both wanted more than anything in the whole world.

But of course, nothing in life went entirely according to plan.

It had happened again.

Britney was back in hospital. Justin had beaten her again, and this time, no denying it on Nick’s behalf, it was all Nick’s fault. And this time, Justin didn’t just beat her. No, no, far from just giving her the odd beat around and slapping and the usual routine of him tying her up and raping her – the routine that Britney was most used to and thought she could handle and make it through, provided she didn’t put up a fight and provided she didn’t cry. No, this time it had been much worse.

Much, much worse.

This time not only had he given her the usual routine of beating her and tying her up and raping her, even when she was past the first trimester of her pregnancy and which was extremely harmful to the growing fetus. He had also been armed with a knife, something that he had never used before, and this time had used. In every sense of the word, Justin had used it. From what Nick had been told, not only had Justin made slashes across her stomach, but also deep cuts into her wrists to cause her to bleed severely, predictably intending her to perhaps lose enough blood to bleed to death, but he had also made a few small incisions in places where he should not have, places which were very delicate, not only to Britney, but to her child. Though they were only small incisions, they were enough to cause Britney to miscarry, accompanying the severe abdominal trauma that had been inflicted on her from his beating and perhaps never have the chance of carrying another child again.

And so, it was all his fault. Again.

Nick felt like dying, knowing he was responsible, fully responsible this time. Though the last time he felt responsible, this time he knew he was. He was the one that drove Britney away and into the arms of Justin, knowing that she had nowhere else to go or turn to. But why did she have to go back to him? Surely she knew that it would happen again, that obviously from experience Justin couldn’t be trusted. Surely she would realize that no matter what he said or did. Justin had a few problems that could never be solved.

He was a walking nightmare, she had to know that. But somehow, maybe he knew that she would go back to Justin and maybe, somewhere deep inside his soul that had been momentarily ravaged by hatred and rage, he wanted that to happen, knowing it would happen. Maybe in his twisted mind, that’s what he wanted. But no matter what she did, to him or to Justin, she didn’t deserve this. Nobody did. And when he had found all this out, he wanted the Earth to open up and become buried within the ground. Either that or die a slow and painful death, to know exactly how Britney felt in the clutches of Justin and his deadly torment...

Nick stared through the glass and saw her laying between the stark white sheets, staring blankly out the window and gasped, seeing the actual damage in real-life. Both her cheeks were colored purple and blue, as though a make-up artist had thrown a whole lot of eye shadow on her face, complete with several sections of stitching. Her eyes were blackened, her left eye was partially closed from the bruising and trauma, her top lip had several deep cuts and had dried over with black blood, her wrists were wrapped in bandages, gingerly prone on top of the white sheet, her hair a dull blonde color that reminded him of string or straw and her, just sitting there, staring, as though she wasn’t even looking at anything.

And if she was, her face didn’t register it. It was as though she had all life and emotion beaten out of her and nothing remained, except a body, the physicality of her being the only thing that could make her look alive and responding, as though all her spirit had been killed and snuffed as easily like a light. And once again, a pang of guilt shot right through his heart and his whole body, knowing that it was him that had caused all of this.

Nick took a deep breath and quietly opened the door to her room, stepping inside and closing the door behind him as carefully as possible. Even the tiny sound that came from the door opening and closing that was surely evident to both of them didn’t capture Britney’s attention. She just continued to stare into space, not really caring who it was or what they were doing. It was as though she didn’t really care about anything. It killed him to see her like this, and when he stood in front of her and saw the damage close-up and the vacant look in her bruised eyes, he wanted to cry. But he wouldn’t. It wasn’t exactly the time or the place.

She obviously needed strength for someone, anyone, and he was glad that he was the one that was there. He didn’t exactly know where Justin had fleeted off to this time around, but this time, he was sure to have the book thrown at him and himself behind bars. Her eyes flickered from the window over to him and it was as though she were staring straight through him, and it scared him. She continued to stare straight through him while he pulled a chair closer to her bedside and while he sat down, her eyes just never moved.

Nick sighed. “Britney,” he began softly, “I don’t know, I mean, I don’t know how to say, well, I don’t know what words to say or what to do or....anything but, I know that I’m to blame and if you just want to ignore me and want me to disappear, then I will but...”

Britney blinked slowly, as though in some form it hurt her eyes to do so, and as she did, light tears shinned within them. Her lips slowly parted and dryly, she only whispered, “Why?”

Nick leaned forward, glad to have some sort of reaction from her. “Why, what?”

More tears shinned from within her eyes, though they failed to spill from her eyes and run down her cheeks. “Why did you make me leave?”

Nick felt like his heart were shattering on the floor, her question was so point-blank it left him stunned. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry! I know I caused this and I’m sorry, more sorry than I’ve ever been in my entire life! I am so, so sorry!”

Britney pursed her lips together and shook her head lightly, a sad expression crossing her face. “If I though you meant that, I would believe you,” she said in the same dry voice as previously, tears still shinning in her eyes but not leaving them. “I can’t believe anything you say anymore.”

Nick shrugged. “What else can I say but I’m sorry?!” he cried helplessly. “But I’ll say it again, if it makes you happy. I’m sorry!”

Britney’s eyes closed momentarily and when she opened them, a single tear escaped her eye and trickled slowly down her cheek. “I lost my baby,” she whispered. “I lost my child.”

Nick nodded. “I know, but it’s not the end of the world, you know.”

“I might never be able to have children again,” Britney added, another tear running down her cheek. “That might’ve been my only chance.”

Nick bit down on his lower lip to stop more cries of apology escaping. “You’re still alive, and that’s the main thing.”

A tiny sigh, almost a remorseful sigh left Britney’s throat. “Yeah, I’m hanging by a string. What kind of living do you call that, Nick? I guess your definition of what it means to be alive is a little different from mine. But then again, our definitions of a lot of things are different. Love, trust, respect...”

Nick rolled his eyes. “I don’t think that now’s the time to be throwing blame at one another, do you?”

“Why not?” Britney retorted, her eyes beginning to water. “I think it’s a perfect time.” She paused, harshly glaring at him. “You caused this. You made me go back to him. If you weren’t so goddamn paranoid, I wouldn’t be in this mess. This is all your fault.”

Nick fell silent almost immediately. Sure, he blamed himself but he didn’t expected Britney to blame him, too. But maybe she was right. Well, she was right. He knew he had said a few horrible things in the heat of the moment and he knew that even the thought of Britney and Justin together again sickened him to no end, but he had never expected to be blamed for this – not in a million years.

“You had choices,” he said softly. “I’m not the be-all and end-all of your life, okay? You didn’t have to go back to him. You could’ve made it on your own. You couldn't expect me to be there all the time."

Britney nodded reluctantly. “Yes, because that’s what you promised me,” she whispered. She raised her head a little. “And I guess I lost all sense of independence when you started smothering me.”

Nick scowled. “Excuse me?”

“Yeah, you heard me,” Britney said in a slightly louder voice. “You smothered me, I felt suffocated with you. I couldn’t go anywhere or do anything without you following me and asking me about my well being constantly. It was tiring. I felt drained.”

“I know you’re upset right now and you’ll say anything – “ Nick began.

“I’m upset but I mean every word,” Britney interrupted forcefully. “I felt drained, Nick. You made me love you and look what happened!”

“You made me love you?” Nick repeated, blinking in surprise. “Are you serious?”

Britney’s eyes widened slightly, as much as they possibly could without causing her any type of pain. “Very serious. If you hadn’t forced yourself on me – “

“I didn’t make you do anything you didn’t want to do!” Nick exclaimed. “I didn’t make you love me. I made you decide and you decided on me. I didn’t force myself on you. You did everything with me by your own free will. And you know damn well that I would never force myself on you! You know me better than that!”

“Do I?” Britney countered.

Nick sat back in his chair, his eyes wide, just staring at her. “I thought you did,” he whispered.

Britney shook her head, ignoring the pangs of guilt that ran through her heart at seeing the sad expression on Nick’s face. She knew she was trying to do her best to hurt him, to make him feel what she was feeling, and had been feeling since she had left him, but she was angry and hurt and in pain and all of a sudden, she just felt like crying. But she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t give him the satisfaction.

“No, Nick, I don’t know you. I don’t know you at all. You tried to hit me. You were going to hit me. I saw a side to you that I hadn’t seen, and didn’t want to see or want to know existed. But it does and I don’t like it. So, no. I don’t know you.”

Nick bit down on his lower lip. “I’m sorry,” he said in a quiet, tearful voice. “I’m really sorry. I wasn’t going to hit you. I wasn’t. And you know that I would never hurt you, not for – “

“Anything in the world,” Britney finished bitterly. “Save it. Not interested.”

“Do you still love me?” Nick asked, discretely trying to avoid tears running down his cheeks. “Do you?”

Britney stared at him for several moments. She felt a number of things flood through her while she did. A part of her wanted to just make him move closer to her, to hold her while she desperately needed to cry and reassure her that no matter what happened, they’d always be together. But another part of her, a dominant part of her, wanted to hit him, hurt him, make him hurt like she had and make him leave her. Forever. So...

 “No, I don’t think so,” she said softly. “I won’t love someone like him.”

“I’m not like him!” Nick cried.

“No?” Britney questioned.

“No,” Nick repeated in a softer voice.

Britney suddenly pointed to the door. “Get out.”

Nick sat up straighter. “What?”

“Are you deaf?” Britney yelled as loud as she could, which wasn’t all that loud – her voice was somewhat scratchy and hoarse, as though she had previously screamed her lungs out, which she might very well have. “I said get out.”

Nick slowly stood up. He wondered how everything had changed so suddenly. Just a few weeks ago, they were so happy, it was almost euphoric and unbelievable. Neither of them had ever experienced that kind of happiness and love before in their entire lives. Neither of them had been that happy and felt so complete before in their entire lives and they both believed that they were a perfect match made in heaven and that they were invincible and that if they built a fortress out of their love, nothing would ever hurt them. Not even Justin.

But then everything had changed so suddenly, it was almost unbelievable. Everything had taken a turn for the worst and again, just like before, it was all his fault. Everything that he had imagined for their lives had quickly disappeared so quickly, so effortlessly, he just didn’t understand how it all happened and changed so fast. But he felt sad and he was certain that the love and happiness he had experienced with Britney he would never experience again, not for the rest of his life...

Nick opened the door and turned around, staring at her with sad eyes and a heavy heart. “I really am sorry,” he said softly. “Will you ever forgive me?”

Britney turned on her side, away from Nick. “Close it on your way out,” she replied coldly and as the soft click of the door shutting echoed through the room, it was then that the tears began to fall.

~**~

Britney stood in front of the door and sounded the doorbell, looking over shoulder hesitantly and taking several deep breaths. When the door finally opened, she smiled. “Hey.”

Justin leaned against the door, a cheesy smile on his face, his eyes bloodshot, and began to giggle maniacally. “Wow, I really did a number on you this time, didn’t I babe?”

Britney nodded. “Yeah, you did. So, you know that you did this to me? You remember everything that you’ve done to me?”

Justin burst out laughing. “What am I, babe, stupid? I ain't you, girl. Gotta make you understand who's King, ya know?"

Britney nodded again. “Yeah, I know, and I’ve just got one thing to say.” She then proceeded to unzip her jacket to reveal a little microphone that was pinned to her shirt. “Welcome to the party.”

Justin’s eyes widened and he almost fell over trying to keep his grip on the door, stumbling over his own drunken feet. “WHAT?!”

Suddenly, Britney backed off out of Justin’s line of attack to allow four policemen to step in and quickly seize his arms behind his back and cuffing his wrists, all four policemen struggling to keep Justin’s frantically wriggling body in their grasp.

“Justin Timberlake,” one policeman said, letting go of Justin and standing in front of him with a somber expression, “you have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law – “

Britney felt a rush of completion and success and happiness run through her as she watched Justin being led to the police car that had its blue and red lights flashing and Justin still trying in vain to break free and screaming out obscenities at her.

One of the policeman began to chuckle while Justin was being pushed into the car. “Don’t worry, buddy, I’m sure there’s lots of criminals in the local county jail that would just love to make your acquaintance.”

Britney turned her back on the police, Justin, the house and the life she used to have and the person she used to be and finally felt liberation.

And the sweet smell of freedom at last.

~***~