Battle Of The Blondes

©  Sweet Kisses™

~*~

"That’s so beautiful."

"But not nearly as beautiful as you."

Britney turned her head slightly in the direction of Nick and cast him a small smile. They had been walking the streets together, their hands linked tightly together, while the sun and rain clouds played a playful game of cat and mouse. Nobody seemed to recognize them, nobody had interrupted them, and so far, to their knowledge, no photographers were following. They both felt relaxed.

What was more pleasant was the fact that they were walking with each other. Every once in a while, they both had a feeling of contentment and pure happiness at the simple notion of being together. Though they were both slightly amazed that no one had actually noticed them or had bothered them, but just seemed to treat them like a normal, every day couple and in many aspects, they were. They were just a normal couple that loved being together, who were trying to make a life together.

Nick gazed down at the gold diamond engagement ring in the window. It glistened towards his blue eyes. The ring struck him as unique, different, with the diamond surrounded by several small twinkling diamonds on a bed of velvet. And somehow, some way, he just knew that it would look perfect on the person that he had in mind.

"You’re just saying that," Britney objected softly, though her whole body believed it, and believed in all of his kind and sweet words. It was just too hard not to, he just seemed so, well, sincere. And she’d been so hurt in the past that it was just nice to hear those kind of words for a change. Very nice, even, and she wanted to hear it all over again.

"You’re just saying that," she repeated.

Nick widened his eyes and stared straight into Britney's. "Does it look like I’m lying to you?"

Britney shook her head slowly. "No"

"That’s because I’m not," Nick said seriously, tightening his grip on her hand to somehow reaffirm his words. "I never have, and I never will. Got it?"

Britney nodded. "Got it."

They continued walking together, hand in hand, in complete silence, just content enough to enjoy compatible silence between them both. Britney turned her head slightly away from Nick and watched the world fly past her. Kids, teenagers, couples, adults who were on their own, it seemed so mystifying. It seemed as though she had been cut off from the real world, kept protected in a safe little bubble where no one and nothing could hurt her. But even that wasn’t enough to protect her. She had been hurt, very hurt.

Even she didn’t have enough guts to save herself while it was happening. She had tried. She had tried, but nothing seemed to work. She tried walking out. She tried hurting him in return. She tried disappearing. She tried everything. But something, always something, brought her back. Now Nick, though quickly, had become a part of her life and she had become a part of his.

Now she was at the crossroads, with so many choices, not knowing which choice was the best for her.

It was just too difficult. The situation she was in was difficult.  Now Justin would always be in her life, now she had a child, someone else to think about but herself. So many people had told her she was selfish, too selfish for her own good. Someone would soon be the most important thing in her life, besides herself and her career. Someone she’d have to give up her career to mother. Did that sound like something she could easily deal with? She wasn’t quite sure about that.

Nick turned his head towards Britney and frowned at the confused expression on her face as she gazed out on the approaching park before them. He saw her eyes floating towards the three children that were running around with a kite, laughing and happy, while the mother sat on a park bench, reading and taking a glance up at her children and smiling now and then. He saw her eyes clouding over and finally, her head lowered and her expression changed from confused to sad.

"Hey," he said softly. "What’s the matter? Why are you unhappy? You’re supposed to think happy thoughts."

Britney sighed. How many times had he told her that, and how many times had she not thought about things that were happy in her life? She sat down on a park bench and looked out across the park, the rain clouds now finally seeming supreme over the battling yellow sun.

Color all my days grey for Justin, but save one for yellow - my love for Nick...

She sighed again and leaned her body against Nick’s, placing her head on his shoulder. "I don’t know," she finally said. "I can’t do this."

Nick was silent for a few moments listening to her words. He always knew that there was just a part of her that wasn’t happy, though she had always said otherwise when she was with him. There was only one way, one way to prove her wrong and he’d do that, if that’s what it took...

"What can’t you do?"

Britney lifted her head up off his shoulder and shifted her body around to face him directly. "This. A baby. A child. A child that’s not even yours, let me remind you of that. Why do you want anything to do with me? Don't you want a reasonable, peaceful life? I can assure you, Nick, you won't get that with me."

Nick sat back. "That was a little harsh, don't you think?" he asked softly.

"I don't care if it is harsh, it's the fucking truth!" Britney exclaimed. When she saw the hurt look on Nick’s face, she bowed her head. "Sorry."

Nick stared at her for a few moments, knowing that this was her just trying to let her body free of all the hurt and anger she’d been subjected to, but what she also had to remember was that it wasn’t Nick who had hurt her in the first place.

"Britney," he began softly, taking her hand in his, forcing her to look his way. "It’s not me that hurt you. If you don't know by now that I wouldn't touch you unless it was out of love, then maybe I should say it again. I won't hurt you."

"I know," Britney said, nodding. "I don’t mean to take it all out on you." Her free hand reached out to briefly brushed over his cheek and her eyes widened when she saw Nick’s eyes fluttering shut for just a split second. "You’ve been nothing but perfect to me, and I do want to stay with you."

A smile played on Nick’s face when his eyes opened. "Oh, do you now?"

Britney nodded again. "Yes, I do."

Nick then pulled her closer to him and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her close against his chest, the warmth of his body slowly warming hers. They sat there in silence, watching the world go past them. But soon, their eyes fell on the playing children with the kite again. They both watched the three kids running around, squealing with laughter, in awe at the kite that was whipping through the wind and coasting along with them as they ran across the park.

Then they both laughed softly at the same time when all three suddenly crashed into each other and fell straight onto the plush green grass, in absolute fits of childish hysteria. Their eyes met briefly and they both shared a small smile and then they looked away.

"I'm scared," Britney said, breaking the silence and watching the grey clouds looming above, thinking of how symbolically they matched her feelings at that point in time. "I'm a perfect little blonde girl with a perfect life. I don't get abused by my boyfriend and I sure as hell don't get pregnant." She sighed. "My manager’s going to kill me. My publicist is going to have a heart attack..."

"Maybe its time to be serious about your career," Nick said, his expression. "There's a lot of ways in which you can be taken seriously as you are, regardless of being 'a perfect little blonde girl'. You could start with writing your own songs. That's a step in the right direction, I think. Don't be a pushover, you know? Fight for what you want out of life and your career. "

"Is that what you think of me?" Britney asked, her eyes wide. "You think I’m weak? You think I’m a pushover? Is that it?"

"Well," Nick said with a cheeky smile, "I have to admit I like it when you’re vulnerable because..." He leaned over and brushed his lips gently against hers, tightening his grip on her hand. "Then I can be there to save you. "

Britney rolled her eyes. "Please." But she loved what she said, anyway.

"Do you remember the day we met?" Nick suddenly asked, his arm locked around her shoulders, his eyes glued on the running children.

Britney let out a small, quiet laugh. "Yeah. I spilled coffee all over you!" She turned to Nick and smiled sheepishly. "I never did apologize for that. Sorry."

Nick rolled his eyes, thinking of just how inconvenient that whole thing was at the time, having coffee all over him. "Yeah, I remember it well. Kevin wasn’t too happy that I missed a meeting that day. Actually, he was pretty mad. He gave me this whole lecture about commitment and how I don’t take things seriously..."

"I really am sorry for that."

Nick twisted his head to smile down wistfully at her. "But it was a good day, though. I thought it was pretty cool that we could just talk for hours. I just knew that we had this connection. I just could tell, you know?"

"Love at first sight?"

"I don't believe in that," Nick said. "You really have to know someone, know their faults and strengths and then love everything about them." He paused. "That's how I feel about you. I know your strengths and weaknesses and I love everything about you. I really do."

Britney tried hard to fight tears rolling down her cheeks. She leaned back against him again and he wrapped his arms around her waist. She knew this was a contender for the most happiest moment in her life....

~**~

Britney wandered into the living area after going for a long walk. She had thought about a lot of things that was going on in her life. She knew that Nick was right about her life. She had to start taking responsibility for her life and her career. She was tired of being told what to do. She really wanted to take control of life, she had wanted to for a long time. She had just needed a little bit more convincing from someone influential. She was going to start with song writing and take it from there...

She stopped immediately when she saw Nick asleep on the couch. She folded her arms across her chest and a small smile creased her pretty features. He looked so peaceful, so at ease with life like nothing could ever make him mad or upset. She wondered what it took to get to that place. Probably not having someone who supposedly loves you, hurting you. That was her first thought.

She sat down in front of the couch and leaned back against it. She began to take off her shoes and thought about everything that her and Nick had been through together. She couldn't begin to imagine how scared and confused he must've been to find out what Justin was doing to her, and the fact that she was having a baby. She marveled at his patience, at his kindness. She knew that Nick was special, for any other male probably would've left her as quickly as possible.

Her mind thought back to when Nick had talked to her about love, real feelings when she was in hospital. She understood exactly what he meant and secretly, though she would never tell him, she had recurring thoughts about 'expressing her feelings physically', as Nick described it.  She glanced over at Nick and wondered if it would be too presumptuous to make the first move.

Britney knew that she loved him, she saw nothing wrong with what she was about to do. She knew that Nick felt the same way about her. So what was the problem? She loved and trusted him implicitly and it wasn't as though she normally just threw herself at any man. This one was special, she knew that and was convinced of it...

She stood up and took off her clothes until she was just standing in her underwear. She looked down at her stomach. It was protruding just a tiny bit and there was still bruising on her abdomen, arms and thighs. She took a deep breath and climbed onto the couch and Nick. She pressed her lips down on his before she could even think about reconsidering.

Nick's eyes flew open. He stared at Britney and her being, well, half-naked. "Am I dreaming here?"

Britney stared down at Nick with a teasing expression. "I love you," she whispered. "I'm talking about real love, you and me, expressing those feelings physically. Right, babe?"

Nick closed his eyes momentarily and chuckled. "I've been waiting so long for you to say that," he replied, his arms wrapping around her waist. "And...you...really?"

Britney nodded. She then unhooked her bra and allowed Nick to slip it off her body. They kissed deeply. "I guess its unanimous then," she said and kissed him again. 

~***~