Commitment

© Sweet Kisses™

~*~

As silently as he could, Nick opened the door and stepped inside, just listening for any sounds of any kind. He didn’t hear any. All that he was aware of was the soft light drifting across from the living room. And that was all. He closed the door behind him in the same way he had opened it and after slipping off his jacket, he treaded softly through the long hallway and into the dimly-lit living area. He stopped at the doorway to the living room and just stared at what was asleep on the couch. It was Kevin, curled up like a kitten, with Niven sleeping soundly next to him. Nick couldn’t help but think that he looked like a little boy.

And he used to love that about Kevin. He really did.

But Nick knew that things changed, and he himself had changed.

Unexpectedly.

Nick carefully walked over to the couch and kneeled down in front of it, his hand falteringly reaching out to touch Kevin’s shoulder. “Kevin,” he murmured. When Kevin didn’t stir, Nick tapped him again, this time a little more forcefully. “Kevin, wake up.”

At the sound of Nick’s voice, both Kevin and Niven woke up and Nick took Niven into his arms and stood up, avoiding the hurt he saw in Kevin’s sleepy eyes. “Where did you go?” Kevin asked softly, rubbing his eyes and sitting up. “Why did you leave like that? I was worried.”

Nick put Niven down on her feet and watched her scurry away. “I needed to be alone for a while, just like I told you,” he said and turned his eyes finally on Kevin.

Kevin stood up with languid, liquid-like movements. “But why? I mean, you just walked off! And why did you give me back your ring? Why, Nick? Why did you say it’s not working? What’s going on?”

Nick sighed in frustration. “Because it’s not working. This isn’t a relationship, do you realize that? Do you realize how much this is a nightmare to me?”

“Nightmare...” Kevin repeated.

“Yes, a nightmare!” Nick cried. He took a deep breath to calm himself, because he didn’t want to give Kevin the benefit of comforting him should tears ever run down his cheeks. He knew Kevin would try and Nick knew that then he’d be lost forever. Lost within himself, and lost within Kevin. It would simply prove to him that Kevin had him under lock and key.

“This just isn’t fun anymore. It hasn’t been for a while. It’s just so complicated now. You make things that aren’t complicated into things that are and...I just don’t need this anymore. I’m just too young for this kind of thing. I can’t deal with it all anymore. I just...I want my life back.”

Kevin’s eyes widened. “You think I’m taking your life. Is that it?”

Nick shrugged. “I don’t know, but I just don’t want this anymore. It’s just too much. I just want to go back to the way things were, before all the complication, before we had to confess everything to everyone and before everyone started hating us. But I can’t, because we’ve changed everything.” He lowered his head slightly. “So I came back here to pack and I’ll be out of your way soon.”

Kevin gasped. “What?!” he cried and followed Nick up the stairs. “This isn’t fair! I deserve a better explanation than that! You want your life back? This is too complicated? Nick, what the hell do you mean? And if you find this complicated, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but love is complicated! And you do have a life! With me!”

Nick swiftly turned around with an angry expression after throwing the door to their bedroom open. “That’s exactly what I mean! You’ve made me into your own little puppy dog that says ‘how high’ when you say ‘jump’. You smother me. You suffocate me. It’s not fair! It’s not fair the way you treat me!”

Kevin tried his best to find substantial reason in Nick’s words, but somehow he just couldn’t. “But what are you going to do? Just leave me like before? You know how miserable we were. We can’t be apart and you know it!”

Nick disappeared into the walk-in-closet and cursed Kevin for following him in there. He quickly grabbed one of his bags and began to fill it with clothes. “I don’t care, because this time it’s on my terms. You’re not forcing me to leave. I’m forcing myself. If I want to save myself and my life, I have to leave now.”

“Okay,” Kevin said softly, trying a different approach. “If you want to leave then...” He nodded once. “Fine. I can’t stop you.”

Nick whirled around, about to yell back a string of retorts before his mind fully registered what Kevin had said. “Thank you.”

“I guess you’ll go back to your parents for a while?” Kevin asked calmly.

“Just until I get everything settled again,” Nick replied and threw more clothes into his bag before hoisting it over his shoulder and looking around himself. “I think that’s all I need for now. I’ll come back later for everything else.”

He paused for a moment and lowered his eyes to the ground. “I know I hurt you,” he added in a quiet, low voice, “and I know that I was wrong to ever think that you would ever do what I accused you of, but you have to understand that I’m new to this. I didn’t know how to react. I’m impulsive, you know that. And I’m sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you, but you have no idea how much you’ve been hurting me. Surely how much you’re hurting me is nowhere even close to how I hurt you. But...I don’t know. We’ve hurt each other, I guess, and I’m sure that’s a sign, isn’t it?”

“Sign?” Kevin repeated, confused. “How am I hurting you? I don’t understand!”

Nick slowly looked up at Kevin with sad eyes. “You don’t want to touch me anymore. You haven’t even gotten close to me in over six weeks and you have no idea on how many levels that hurts me. But it’s okay, because I understand that you’re just trying to protect yourself. I understand that, but you were the one who taught me that love was all about dropping your guard and letting someone in. So I did, and I am but you just won’t accept me, even after I’ve done everything you wanted me to, to show you that I was serious about us. And you haven’t been doing that, so you don’t trust me. But I understand. So I’ll just leave now...”

At the final moment of Nick leaving him, the awful finality hit Kevin. Finally. He couldn’t live without him. He just couldn’t. There was no way in the world that he would want to survive without Nick. Nick was his life, his world, his everything. Everything that he had done, everything he did, was doing and would do was for Nick. And he couldn’t believe that Nick would ever doubt that, not in the whole entire world. He just couldn’t bear the thought of Nick leaving him. Therefore, he’d have to do everything in his power to stop Nick from leaving. Absolutely everything. And anything.

Anything in the world...

Kevin’s eyes filled with unexpected tears. “Please, Nick,” he pleaded in a desperate voice. “Please don’t leave me. I can’t live without you.” While he was trying to step closer to Nick, Nick was moving closer against the wall, trying to move away until Nick’s back hit the wall completely. “Please don’t leave me. Please. I’ll do anything. Just tell me what you want and I’ll do it. Just don’t leave.”

Nick couldn’t help his tears at the sight of Kevin’s. “I just want...” Tears ran down his face, Kevin completely and utterly close to him, and he was well aware of it. “I just want you to love me the way I love you! I just want you to love me! You make me into anything you want me to be and I never say anything! I do everything you ask me to do and I never care! I never ask you to do that! I never wanted anything from you but your love! Why do you make me into anything you want? Why can’t I just be with you and not worry about trying to be perfect for you? Why can’t you love me the way I am? Why can’t you love me like I love you?”

Kevin moved even closer to Nick, who was still against the wall, until their bodies were pressing together. “Nick, look around you,” he said, his lips at level with Nick’s. “I did all this for you. This was a symbol of my love for you, because I wanted you to be happy and for you to know that I loved you. I got a divorce because you wanted me to and because I wanted to be with you, and nobody else, because I loved you and I wanted you to be happy. How can you say that I don’t love you?”

Nick let out a tiny, confused cry. “Then why haven’t you touched me in over six weeks! Why? Why do you keep pushing me away every time I try and get close to you? Do you know how that makes me feel? I just want to love you and you keep refusing to let me! It’s the only way I know how to love! And it’s the only way I know how to show you that I trust you! Why do you keep pushing me away when I try to show you that I love you and trust you with every single part of my heart and body? Why?”

“I’m sorry,” Kevin whispered and tenderly wiped away the few tears that trickled down Nick’s cheeks. “I just thought if we didn’t, we’d build up trust that couples do when they’re first together.” He wiped away more tears that fell down Nick’s face. “I guess it sounded better in theory than in reality. I’m really sorry, Nicky. I really am. For everything. So let me make it up to you, let me make it better.”

Nick sniffled back more tears and pressed his head against the wall. “I just want you to love me,” he whispered. “That’s all I want. And if you can’t, or you won’t, or you don’t want to, please let me go. Don’t make me stay with you just because you don’t want to be alone...”

Kevin just started at Nick with an intense and almost hypnotic look in his eyes before he finally made some sort of move. But he didn’t move his eyes off Nick’s. He simply lowered himself to his knees and kept his eyes firmly on Nick’s, which were wide with surprise.

“Nicky,” he began in a soft, resonant tone, beginning to unbutton Nick’s shirt slowly, “I’m sorry for all the wrong things I’ve done and all the pain I’ve caused you. I’m really very sorry and you understand what would happen if you leave, don’t you? You know that I’d want to die without you, don’t you?”

Nick nodded, knowing this was ever so true, watching his shirt falling open and moving away from the wall so it could easily slip off. It was like he was in some sort of trance, he wasn’t even aware of himself even doing that. He knew what was going to happen, and what would eventually occur, and just the thought of it was enough to send his whole body into an over-sensitized, hormones-in-a-frenzy type of state. Well, he could hear himself breathing somewhat deeply, almost a pant, he knew that for sure.

And his heart racing. He was also aware of that. But he was most aware of where Kevin was, and what he was about to do. “Uh-huh……”

“And do you also know,” Kevin continued in the same tone as before, his eyes still focused on Nick’s, but this time slowly removing Nick’s pants, “that if you stay, I’ll do anything you want me to. And that means anything. And, well, I’m pretty sure what’s high on your list of wants right now,” he added, pulling down gently on Nick’s pants before they fell to the floor and left a slightly shuddering Nick in nothing but boxer shorts, Kevin still refusing to touch Nick at all, but still very close to Nick, “so just tell me you’ll stay and I will,” he concluded in a whisper and moved his head forward to press just one tiny gentle kiss on Nick’s lower abdomen. 

Nick’s eyes fluttered shut and he let out another helpless cry, this time just a little louder than before and collapsed as a shuddering mess into Kevin’s outstretched arms. And then he was crying again, still shaking and crying again. He looked up into Kevin’s eyes and tried to speak, but when he tried, he found he couldn’t, and Kevin instantly noticed.

“It’s okay,” he said softly, kissing Nick gently on the forehead. When he looked back into Nick’s eyes, he also noticed the apparent need in them and a small laugh escaped through his lips. “But I think I should take this somewhere else...”

Nick threw his arms around Kevin’s neck and almost tackled him to the floor. “Don’t leave me trapped here like this. I don’t want to be like this anymore. I just want you to love me...”

Kevin pressed his forehead against Nick’s, staring deep into his eyes. “I don’t want to live another second without you,” he whispered. “Please, don’t leave me. Please.”

“Then why can’t you just love me, without making rules or without confusion?” Nick asked desperately. “Why can’t you love me like I love you?!”

“Nick, I do love you like you love me,” Kevin said, reaching out to touch Nick’s face with the tips of his fingers. “Every time you walk into a room, you make my heart beat faster. Every time I see you smile, I feel so weak that I think I’m going to faint. Every time I hear your voice, I feel like I’m hearing the most beautiful music ever created. Whenever you touch me, I feel like I want to die and every time I get close to you and make that connection and bridge whatever gap there is between us, there’s nothing more that I want than that and I feel nothing but complete.”

A single tear trickled down his cheek, leaving a watery streak against his skin and he continued to speak in a choked voice. “You're perfect for me, you always have been. And sometimes I feel as though you're not real, you're so perfect. Sometimes I just have to touch you to see if you're real, to see if you're really here with me, because it always seems like a dream. I can't live without you and you're everything to me! You make me feel as though I'm needed and nobody has ever made me feel that way! If you leave, I'll just die!"

He paused to stop himself from sobbing like a child. "And that’s how I feel about you.”

Nick let out another tiny sob. “I can’t read your mind, Kevin, so you’ve got to tell me these things once in a while, okay?” he cried softly. “You have to tell me how you feel or else I’ll never ever know!”

“I’m sorry,” Kevin whispered. “I’m so sorry. Just stay and I’ll try and make it better. I’ll tell you how I feel about you. In fact, I’ll show you how I feel about you, if you stay...”

“Kevin,” Nick said softly, tightening his grip around Kevin’s neck, “it’s been so long since you’ve really been close to me, so anything you do to me, I’ll just...just...”

“Become speechless,” Kevin finished, chuckling. “Silly Nicky. But don’t worry, I’ll do more than make you speechless...”

And quickly they stumbled across the room to the bed, where they both fell into each other’s arms willingly and almost frantically, their arms holding each other tightly, their embrace causing heated and much built-up excitement. After removing what was left of Nick’s clothes, Kevin sat up and offered his hand to help Nick up. Nick fell gladly into Kevin’s embrace once more, his body pressed tightly against Kevin’s, and he closed his eyes to revel in the tenderness and almost magic-like feelings that were running through his whole body as Kevin draped his arms around his shoulders and slowly glided down to rest on the small of his back comfortably, and Kevin’s lips rested comfortably somewhere between Nick’s shoulders and neck.

To Nick it felt like it was everywhere.

“Can I ask you something?” Nick whispered when he finally opened his eyes, helping Kevin take off his shirt and throwing it to the carpet before taking Kevin in his arms once again, and Kevin took Nick in his, the first time in a long time that they’d both made any sort of real, intimate contact and Nick felt suddenly alive. “Why are you always the one that takes control?”

Kevin ran his fingers through Nick’s blonde hair and admired Nick’s bare body. “Don’t you like that?” he teased gently, kissing Nick softly. “Thought you did,” he added, moving down slightly to kiss Nick’s neck again.

Nick was silent for a moment, simply feeling in heaven at that precise moment before he murmured, “But you always do.”

Kevin looked into Nick’s eyes and stared into them for several moments before he realized how serious Nick was and how much it meant to him. He nodded. “Okay, if that’s what you want. I’ll stop, and you start. Starting now.”

Kevin let go of Nick and allowed Nick to embrace him and kiss him delicately, for Nick to create whatever feelings and emotions they would find between them, to finally bring themselves together again after what seemed to be a long time apart to the both of them. And unexpectedly, Kevin didn’t find it at all bad relinquishing control, but almost like a perfect dreamland and they both realized something that they never knew until then.

They had never truly stopped trusting each other.

~**~

Nick sat at the table with a coffee cup in front of him, staring out at the warm, sunny day, a happy smile on his face while he stared. The day looked so perfect outside, and it almost resembled how he was feeling on the inside. Relaxed. Happy. Confident. Loved. Rejuvinated. Everything. He knew he was acting not at all like himself when he wanted to leave, when he begged Kevin to let him go, because underneath everything, he didn’t really want to leave.

He just wanted to fix the gaps that were between them and remain with Kevin. But certain things had to change. He realized that he had to start finding a life outside their relationship. Because before, their relationship was his life, and that wasn’t entirely healthy.

Which was why Nick felt as though he was losing his sense of self remaining with Kevin. He felt as though he didn’t have an identity or a life or anything after Kevin. And that’s what he wanted. Something outside their relationship. And he would. And Kevin trusted him. He knew that. He’d have to be totally stupid if he didn’t know it. After all, there was only so many times a person could say something before you’d start to believe it...

Nick took a tentative sip of his coffee and looked over towards the stairs to find Kevin sitting on the top stair with Niven in his arms, smiling down sleepily at him. Nick placed his cup down and smiled back, and their eyes met for a long moment.

Nick saw everything he ever wanted within Kevin’s smile, and it was almost like they had rediscovered everything they ever loved about each other all over again. And he thought it was pretty incredible to experience something like that, and how Kevin made him feel nothing but pure perfection, just like he thought of Kevin...

I’m so lucky to have him, Nick thought happily, still gazing at Kevin with a smile.

Kevin placed Niven down on her feet and she followed him down the stairs and over to where Nick was sitting. “Hey, you,” he said sleepily, rumpling Nick’s blonde hair affectionately before sitting himself down on Nick’s lap and taking a sip of his coffee. At the mere taste, his nose turned up. “Ugh! Is that sweet enough?”

Nick chuckled. “Don’t think so.” He squirmed with the weight of Kevin. “Damn, you weigh a tonne.”

“So do you,” Kevin replied and leaned closer to Nick before pressing his lips against Nick’s and shifting himself slightly until he had both his legs on either side of the chair and he was facing Nick properly. “You’re no feather...”

Nick chuckled again, returning the series of small kisses. “We’re going to break this thing and end up on the floor in a pile of broken wood if we’re not careful, you know.”

“Perfect,” Kevin murmured, wrapping his arms around Nick’s neck, softly tickling the nape with the tips of his fingers and kissing him again. “Then we’d be laying down, and you know what that would lead to...”

Nick refused to put up any more of a fight and responded with his arms wrapping around Kevin’s waist and a long, lingering kiss. Still he felt like he hadn’t released everything that he felt for Kevin, like what he had already done just wasn’t enough. Maybe that was just him experiencing the intoxicating power of love. And if it was true, then Nick loved it.

He still had so many more wonderful emotions and feelings that he believed he hadn’t yet let free, but he was sure he had and he felt it to be true when he felt Kevin pushing his body against his own and Kevin’s arms around his waist, it was true. That was the power of love. You felt as though you felt so many things that you believed you just couldn’t let free all at once. But as he continued to kiss Kevin, perhaps now his partner, maybe even as far as ‘soul mate’, nothing could be further from the truth.

He had changed, but only as a person. His feelings hadn’t, but he merely just had to modify the situation a little better to make him happier, not drastically amend the scenery. And of course, he would’ve shown Kevin how happy he was if it hadn’t been for the high-pitched tinkling sound of the doorbell...

“Ow,” Kevin murmured, pulling away from Nick and rubbing his forehead. “Did you have to be so surprised and move your whole head forward?”

Nick chuckled and kissed Kevin’s forehead. “Sorry. You have to get off me now. We have guests.”  When Nick saw a tiny pout crossing Kevin’s face, he burst out laughing. “Oh my God! Was that a pout? It was, wasn’t it? Yeah, it was! Kevin pouted! I knew it! I knew it, I knew it, I knew it! I knew there was a child in there somewhere!”

Kevin narrowed his eyes and gave him his usual Kevin glare and sauntered over to the stairs. When he turned around, a small sly smile crossed his face. “You think I should get dressed?”

Nick pretended to think. “Umm...well...” When the doorbell chimed again, he laughed. “Yeah, I think so.”

“You know, Nicky,” Kevin called out as he walked up the stairs, “still got six long weeks of nothing to make up for, you know that?”

“Oh, I know!” Nick called back, himself walking over to the door. “And you’d better believe that I have every intention of holding you to it. And you know what? Don’t get dressed. It’s not like your clothes are going to stay on for long anyway, so why bother?”

Kevin chuckled and pointed to the door before sauntering down the hall. “Nick, see who it is and quit stalling. And I need clothes!”

Nick watched him disappear down the hall with a small smile, enjoying Kevin’s every move. “Hell no, you don’t,” he murmured and chuckled to himself before opening the door. When he saw who was standing there in front of him, his smile evaporated and his heart began to beat faster than it already was. “Brian.”

Brian nodded politely. “Hi, Nick.” He paused for a moment, just staring at him before he took a small breath. “You look happy.”

Nick rolled his eyes. “Come on, Brian, I don’t want to chat. Why are you here?”

Brian raised his eyebrows inquisitively. “Can I come in?”

“What the hell for?” Nick retorted coldly. “This is a gay man’s house, remember?”

Brian pursed his lips together and lowered his head. “Maybe this was a mistake,” he said, beginning to turn away.

“Smartest thing you’ve ever said,” Nick replied harshly and began to close the door.

“Hey Brian!” Kevin called out, quickly intervening the closing door and staring straight at his friend. “What brings you here?”

Brian forced a small, courteous smile on his face. “Can I come in?” he repeated.

Kevin gave Nick a tiny glance of warning, then nodded and held the door open. “Sure.”

Brian walked through the opened door and closed it behind him, stopping in the hallway. “I can only stay for a few minutes but there’s just a few things I want to say to you.”

Nick scowled hatefully. “If you’re going to call us faggots again, we’ve heard it all before. Not interested in hearing it again.”

Kevin sighed and wrapped his arms around Nick’s waist from behind him and Nick instantly fell back into the embrace, to somewhat settle Nick’s angered nerves. He saw the uncomfortable look fleeting across Brian’s face and raised his eyebrows. “This is our house, Brian, and we can do what we want. Your on our turf now and we’d like you to respect that, okay?”

Brian nodded reluctantly. “Yeah, I know and I guess I should be getting used to that...” He shook his head. “Anyway, the reason why I’m here is to...to...well...this is tough for me but...I’m here to apologize.”

Nick widened his eyes and linked his hands with Kevin’s. “Really? Don’t you think it’s a little too late for that, after everything you’ve said and done to us?”

Kevin lowered his head to Nick’s ear. “It’s never too late to apologize,” he whispered before raising his head once more. “But I am curious. Why the sudden need to apologize?”

“Well, you remember that day you two came to see me – “

“How could we forget,” Nick interrupted coldly.

“Well, Leighanne overheard a few things that were said,” Brian continued calmly, taking all of Nick’s words in his stride, “and she gave me something to think about. Firstly she told me I was acting like a white supremist and you know how much I hate those people. But then she asked me what I would do if the two of you weren’t around anymore? If the two of you weren’t in my life? What would I do? Would I want to live with that regret of hating the both of you like that? And you know, it got me thinking. I didn’t want to live with that and I really didn’t want to hate you, it’s just the way I’ve been brought up.”

Kevin nodded understandingly, his expression softening, realizing how hard this was for Brian. “I know, because I was brought up similarly. You know that. But what are you going to do? Just stop calling us faggots and cruel names and just ignore us altogether?”

Brian shook his head. “No. I’m going to try. I talked to Howie yesterday and he told me what happened between you and he told me what was said. I’ll tell you now, I’m a firm believer in what he says, about what would happen if the two of you ever break up. We talked about that and we realized that it would happen anyway to anyone, regardless of the circumstances. It’s just that the rest of us have to be a little stronger than most.”

A thin smile crossed Nick’s face. “This sounds like a plan.”

Brian shrugged. “Well, in some ways it is. But you have to promise us all something if we’re going to be able to work through this whole situation.”

“What’s that?” Kevin asked.

“You have to promise us that if you two do break up, you can’t just forget the friendship you have. You can’t let it affect your work or your friendship with us, because we don’t want everything to change if it does. You just have to be friends.”

Kevin let go of Nick’s waist and began to massage his shoulders lightly and smiled. “Deal.”

Nick nodded. “Okay. And I understand how you felt but...you hurt us.”

Brian’s eyes clouded over. “I know, and I’m sorry but...” He stopped short and realized what he was staring at. “That is so weird.”

“Hey –” Nick warned.

Kevin gripped Nick’s arm tightly. “We realize that this is hard for you. It’ll take time.”

Brian nodded and gave them his goodbyes, closing the door behind him, the sound of his car disappearing into the distance. Nick turned around and faced Kevin and they both stared at each silently, both entirely shocked. They just stared at each other, no expressions passing on their faces. They were both thinking the same thing, and that was why Brian had changed so suddenly.

It was completely shocking to them and left them both startled, at least to some extent. They just couldn’t believe what had happened. It was so sudden, but it wasn’t as though they weren’t going to accept his apologies, because they would. It was just so much of a surprise to them...

“Wow,” Nick said finally.

Kevin’s eyes were wide with disbelief. “Yeah, you’re not wrong. Wow is certainly the right word.”

A slow smile crept onto Nick’s face and his eyes lit up with happiness as he stepped closer to Kevin and wrapped his arms around Kevin’s neck. “You know, I really do love you.”

Kevin chuckled. “Haven’t heard that too much since, oh, a second ago!” He then disentangled himself from Nick and began walking over to the stairs, imitating Nick’s somewhat higher tone of voice. “Oh, Kevin, I love you! I love you, I love you, I love you! I love you so much! Oh Kevin, I love you...!”

Nick gasped and ran over to the stairs, prompting Kevin to laugh and race up the flight of steps in a flurry. “Hey! That’s not fair!”

“Oh, Kevin, I love you!” Kevin continued to call out as he ran down the hall. “I love you so much! I love you, I love you, I love you...!”

Nick ran up the stairs as fast as he could and down the hallway and stopped suddenly. He wondered where Kevin had disappeared to. After all, there were a hell of a lot of rooms on the second floor and he could’ve been in any one of them. He stared down the hallway and began to take a few steps. He tried to be as quiet as possible, as stealth as possible so that Kevin wouldn’t hear him. He opened the first door he arrived at slowly and looked inside. No Kevin. The second door. No Kevin. The third door. No Kevin. The fourth door, their bedroom, he opened very softly and stepped inside, closing it behind him. He looked around.

There was silence. He wandered over to the closet and peered inside. Still no Kevin. He stood in front of the bathroom door that was partially open, placed his hands on his hips and sighed in frustration.

“Okay, Kevin,” Nick called out, “I don’t care about this little game anymore! If you want to play hide and seek like a five-year-old, which I know you are, then fine! Because I’m not!”

Then he heard a soft chuckle from inside the bathroom and whirled around, waiting for Kevin to step outside. When he did, Kevin’s eyes were dancing with laughter. When he saw Nick’s angry expression, he mock-pouted. “Oh, little Nicky’s angry!” He stretched out his arms. “Kevin make it better.”

“I hate you,” Nick said sullenly, but fell gladly into Kevin’s arms. “I really hate you.”

Kevin smiled confidently. “No, you don’t,” he murmured, kissing Nick lightly. “You love me. You know you do.”

“True,” Nick replied in the same murmur and wrapped his arms around Kevin’s waist and pressed his lips down on Kevin’s, just standing in the doorway, sharing kisses with the person that knew him better than anyone. And when he thought about it all, he was downright stupid to ever think that Kevin would try and hurt him, intentionally, sometimes people just got caught up in their own little theories that they forgot what other people thought about them and if it would affect those who were important.

But he knew that Kevin was the most important thing in his life, but in his life he had to have other things surrounding him. He just had to have a life outside of the life that he had with Kevin. And he would. He made a pact with himself so that something like this would never happen again, and after all, it was a learning experience.

“You know what,” Nick said suddenly, breaking the kiss, with a smile on his face, “I think it’s time I returned the favor.”

A tiny frown creased Kevin’s forehead while he tenderly caressed the nape of Nick’s neck with the tips of his fingers. “What? What do you mean?”

“Oh, nothing,” Nick said cryptically, smiling at Kevin’s confusion. “Just an outward thought.”

Kevin pursed his lips together briefly. “Well, while you’re outwardly thinking and not outwardly sharing, how about you return some other favors?”

“Oh, I’ve done my fair share of those,” Nick replied, laughter apparent through his tone of voice, “but how about you fill your end of the bargain?”

Kevin raised his eyebrows inquisitively. “But I thought you didn’t like me controlling you. But now, you want me to?”

Nick shrugged, and a devilish smile appeared on his face. “Well, maybe just for a little while.”

A slow, sly smile crossed Kevin’s face, thinking of all the nice things he could to Nick and with Nick, and suddenly chuckled knowingly at the thought. “Well then, Nicky, I believe you’ve got yourself a deal.”

~***~