Dangerous Minds

© Sweet Kisses™

~*~

Nick sat up in his bed with the darkness of the night surrounding him like a black blanket. He sniffed and wiped the single tear that trickled down his cheek. He had to be strong. He had to be strong to survive this. He had to be strong so that he could survive not being able to sleep with Kevin. And it wasn't just the fact that he couldn't "sleep" with Kevin that made him cry.

It was simply because he couldn't feel Kevin's strong grasp around his waist. Or hear his soft but deep voice. Or feel his warm breath on the back of his neck. Or his gentle kisses to wake him up.

Nick wiped away another tear. "This is fucked. I want out!" he sobbed quietly and pulled his blanket up around his chin like a frightened little boy.

He hadn't realised that just being in the same bed as Kevin would make him fall in love. He hadn't realised that after just one kiss, he would be totally and utterly infatuated with Kevin, and he knew now that that would never change.

Ever.

The doctor was a bitch. She just didn't realise how much he needed Kevin. Or how much he needed his knife at this point. Kevin had taken it away, knowing full well that Nick would most likely resort to the blade whenever trouble came along. Maybe Kevin loved him as much as he loved Kevin. Maybe they were kindred spirits and they could read each other's mind.

He wanted so much to be laying down next to Kevin. Nick wanted it more than he wanted to live. He didn't know when or how he had fallen in love with Kevin, he just had and now he knew that there was no returning to what he used to be. Kevin had changed him, and in more ways than one.

Kevin just had to love him. He just had to. Why else would he take away Nick's knife so that he couldn't hurt himself? Why else would he let him sleep in his bed? Why else would he kiss him back? Why else would he do any of those things, and so much more in terms of "sleep", if he didn't love Nick back? And he had confessed that he wasn't high. Nick had to appreciate that much.

No, Nick didn't just appreciate Kevin.

Nick loved Kevin.

Another tear trickled down his cheek and Nick laid back against the pillows. "I love you, Kevin. I love you so much."

And Nick was absolutely sure that if he listened hard enough, he could hear Kevin whispering, "Love you, too."

~**~

Howie came stumbling into the kitchen, rubbing his eyes with his 'Winnie the Pooh' pyjamas on. "Hey," he murmured and laid his head down on the counter.

A.J laughed. "Nice jammies, nympho!"

Howie groaned. "Fuck off," he said in the same murmur, not taking his head off the counter for a moment.

"What's your problem?" A.J asked and took a sip of coffee. Coffee. He needed coffee. Pretending you'd been drinking never really had the same affect as the real thing. Damn the doctor for taking his booze.

Howie finally took his head off the table. "Look. I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm fucking horny, so leave me the hell alone!"

"Ooh!" A.J tormented with a loud laugh. "Someone needs relief!"

"And someone needs their head smacked in," Howie mumbled and placed his head back on the counter.

Nick came staggering in, his hair spiked in every direction, his blue eyes red with a sullen expression. "Hey. All sleep well?"

A.J. nodded in Howie's direction. "You best leave him alone. He's quite horny at this hour of the morning."

Nick rolled his eyes and glanced at A.J's coffee. "Ah, sweet coffee."

Howie rose up from the counter again. "Sounds good," he replied sleepily and stood next to Nick. Nick stared at him. "What?"

"Howie, do you realise what you're wearing?" Nick whispered with a shocked expression.

Howie gave him a shove. "Hey, it's for the Doc only. Women love a sensitive side to a man. Trust me."

Nick rolled his eyes again. "Whatever."

Kevin and Brian came walking through and it wasn't only A.J that noticed Nick's face light up when Kevin gave him a smile. "Did we all do okay?" Kevin asked.

A.J pointed to Howie. "Ask Winnie over there."

Kevin turned to Howie and let out a small laugh. "Damn, Howie, what is with you lately?"

"I don't know, Kevy," Howie drawled and patted him on the shoulder. "What's with you?"

Brian sat down, placed his hands together and began to say grace. "Bless this, O lord, for your name is thy..."

A.J sighed. "Some things don't change do they, church boy?"

They were suddenly silent at the sound of Doctor Sheffield's heels clicking on the floor as she walked through, looking immaculate as always. "Good morning, gentlemen. How did we do last night?"

"Terrible," Nick whispered and watched Kevin sit down next to him and put his hand on Nick's leg underneath the table where no one could see. He let out a shaky sigh and took a sip of coffee to conceal a soft moan when Kevin gently squeezed his thigh. "Uh...yeah..."

She nodded. "That's great." After taking a quick glance at a few papers, she added, "You might be interested to know that because I'm a firm believer in interaction, I'm scheduling two hours of every day where all five of you will be placed in a room together. Just yourselves. Where you can talk about your problems, your life, what you hate, what you love, everything."

They all looked at each other, with one thing on their minds: escape.

When they all walked out, Dr Sheffield said, "Oh, Mr Dorough. In future you might like to remember that grown women don't fancy Winnie the Pooh."

Howie lowered his head in embarrassment when they all laughed at him.

~***~

"God, I missed you so much," Nick whispered and wrapped his arms around Kevin's waist before kissing him. "And your kisses, too."

Kevin sighed when Nick's hands went underneath his shirt and his fingertips began to caress his chest. "Nick, please stop."

Nick moved down to Kevin's neck, where he kissed the smooth hollowness of his throat. "But I missed you last night," he whispered and moved his hands down to the band of Kevin's pants. "Did you miss me?"

"Always," Kevin murmured and tangled his fingers in Nick's hair. "God, I missed you as much as - "

Nick stopped suddenly and pulled away. "As much as what?" he demanded.

Kevin looked away. "Come on, Nick, I'm an addict. You can't expect just one night without it to get me over it. It doesn't work that way."

"One night," Nick repeated and suddenly saw the light. "If you were without it for just one night only, that meant you've been high every other night you've been here! Including," he added with sadness in his eyes, "when we were together."

"No, I wasn't high then, Nick!" Kevin objected. "You have to believe me, I wasn't! I would never - "

"Save it for some other fucking gullible jerk," Nick snapped, fighting back the tears, and hearing three other voices in the distance.

A.J came walking over first and clapped his hands together. "So, everyone knows Howie loves Winnie and he's horny, and Brian's as preachy as ever, but who's excited about our little two hour sessions together!"

Nick waved an invisible flag in the air. "Whoopee."

"Oh, gee, Nick's still going on with his 'woe-is-me' melodramatics!" Howie said. "Could someone shoot the bastard once and for all?"

"Fuck you!" Kevin yelled. "He's done nothing to you, so just leave him alone!"

Howie glared back at Kevin. "Gee, I wonder why big Kevy's trying to protect little Nicky!"

Brian looked up at the ceiling. "Now unto thee, who is able to keep me from falling..."

A.J rolled his eyes. "Okay, so now we have a perfect opportunity to discuss our little plans to get out. I'm going to scope the doctor's office before lights out tonight and see what she's got planned and then maybe tomorrow we could make an escape."

"Tomorrow?" they all chorused.

"Yeah, why not?" A.J said. "Better now than never, right? I mean, who knows what the Doc's capable of with those tough try-hards patrolling day and night. If we find out what she's planning, we might get an attempt to stop it from happening before she does it."

"Someone's sure belligerent today," Kevin said softly.

"So, do we have a deal?" A.J asked.

Nick shrugged. "Don't care anymore," he said quietly and glanced at Kevin before looking at the ground.

"Please, just get me into the Doc's bedroom before we leave!" Howie demanded. "That's all I ask!"

A.J laughed. "Never, my dear friend. Never in your lifetime."

~****~

God is my friend. God is my saviour. God is the only one who can save me from this corrupted and contaminated place that they all call Earth. He is the only one that can save me from the corruption and evil-doings of my friends and family and all of those of which I do not know and am thankful for that. I thank God because he keeps me safe from harm. I thank God because he keeps me in his care. I thank God because he keeps me from temptation.

God is good, God is great.

That is my motto.

Live by the Bible, die by the Bible.

No one can see just how much this all means to me. No one understands just how upset it makes me when they all tease me, when all I am doing is professing my undying love for a being greater than them and greater than myself. I am an extension of God. I am his son and it is my duty to save everyone from the seven deadly sins. Gluttony. Wealth. Greed...

His presence is everywhere and they all will feel his wrath when they're sent to hell and I am sitting with St Peter at the pearly gates of Heaven, laughing at them and thanking myself over and over again for putting my trust and faith in God.

Here's my sermon for today (or what I believe to be true, in God's eyes only).

Alexander - a twisted mind with a twisted heart
Howard - a blackened soul overbearing with desire
Kevin - confusion overwriting despair
Nickolas - pity.

Amen.

~*****~

A.J checked both ways to see if anyone was watching or if anyone was making their way down the hall before taking off up the grand staircase to the fourth floor where Doctor Sheffield's office was located. He tried to tread lightly on the stairs, being extremely careful to not make a single sound.

By the time he reached the fourth floor, he was a little out of breath. He looked over his shoulder once and made his way down the hallway as quietly as possible. He saw the door to the bathroom where their escape route was and decided to make a check after ransacking the Doctor's office. He came to her door and slowly opened it and walked in. He figured she must be either pretty stupid or extremely trusting. She didn't even lock it.

He strolled over to her desk and scanned a few papers that was scattered on top of a black book. The first few papers were simply nothing but other clients names, numbers and referees for future help. He frowned at the last one he came across. She had no medical notes written on it, she'd just scribbled "Mr Richardson and Mr Carter" in bold, block letters.

"What're you up to, Doc?" he asked himself softly and placed the piece of paper back with the others. He picked up the black book and scanned the first few pages. Nothing but an appointment book. He sighed and put it back where it belonged. This was getting him nowhere.

He sat down in her leather chair and opened the top drawer. Nothing. He opened the second drawer. Nothing. He opened the third drawer. Still nothing. He opened the fourth drawer and what he saw made his eyes widen. A few video tapes. He wondered what or who they were of. He made a mental note to watch at least one next time he would be in here.

He stood up and walked around the room. There was nothing he could tell the others. Absolutely nothing. There was no evidence of foul play occurring. Maybe she did want to help them, after all. Maybe she genuinely cared. He pondered this for a moment, then shook his head. Doctor Sheffield didn't genuinely care. If she did, she wouldn't be locking them up everyday and she wouldn't have done what she did to Kevin.

No, she didn't care at all.

Sighing despondently, A.J walked out of the office and closed the door softly behind him. He looked both ways and made his way down to the bathroom. He treaded the floor softly like a mouse, he couldn't get caught. No way in hell. He was A.J McLean and he had a sense of style. He opened the door and walked into the bathroom and over to the window.

He pulled on the handle once. It wouldn't budge. He pulled it a second time. No luck. On the third attempt, the window opened with a loud and reverberating creak. He gasped. The window was now barred up. His eyes widened in horror. Their one escape route had been barred. How could this have happened? Did she know somehow? Did she know they were going to escape?

How did this happen?

"Fuck!" he yelled and slammed the window shut.

~******~

Doctor Sheffield stood in front of the mirror in her bedroom, slowly brushing out her soft blonde hair. It had been a tough day, and she had tried her hardest to get them to see that all she was doing was helping them recover and if they just helped themselves in the smallest measurement, they'd all be better by now.

But no, they had to be juvenile and treat each other like crazed psychotic lunatics.

She sat down on the bed and placed her hands on her head. "I'm trying to help them," she said softly, "I really am trying."

She had tried and tried again to help them and to force them to see that just because they were in rehabilitation didn't mean it was a cause to self-destruct. If anything, it should've made them closer. But after seeing them together even on the first day and all their childish bickering made it seem as though a week would be a nightmare together.

She knew that they all had insecurities. She could tell just by the way they acted. No one needed a degree in psychological science to see that.

She knew that Mr Richardson was insecure about people not liking him, and that's what made him turn to drugs to keep all that away. She knew that Mr Littrell was insecure about his faith in himself and life, which was why he had God as his so-called "saviour".

She knew that Mr Dorough was insecure about the way he acted towards others, which was why he professed all that bravado to cover it all up. She knew that Mr McLean was insecure within himself and who he was, which was why he drowned all that by consuming alcohol at a rapid rate.

And she knew that Mr Carter was insecure because he didn't know who or what he wanted, which was why the masochism made him think of other more painful things.

Her mind pondered the connection between Mr Carter and Mr Richardson. They were so different and so completely unalike that it seemed so strange that they would find something between them. She didn't blame them for doing what they were doing. If they found love between them, so what? If they loved each other, shouldn't they have the opportunity to be together and show it, like they had, in the most natural way?

And if they were who she thought they were, what did it matter?

Why was she trying to stop them if she thought it was okay?

What they both didn't know, and would never know as far as she was involved, was that she knew exactly how they felt.

~*******~