Dangerous Minds

© Sweet Kisses™

~*~

Kevin sat cross-legged on his bed, twirling a tiny bag of white powder that he'd managed to smuggle into his room via his pants. He thought it was pretty clever that he thought of it, and considered the doctor to be pretty stupid not to do a full body check of all of them. It wouldn't take much to conceal a tiny bag underneath clothing. It was truly laughable, and priceless, and he thought himself a genius. But, if he was still snorting this stuff, he wouldn't be a genius for much longer. The more he thought about leaning down and inhaling, the more he became confused.

Should I?

Shouldn't I?

He knew that Nick didn't like it. He knew that it made Nick upset. And now he was feeling sorry for himself because he let something slip out which could hurt Nick's feelings more than anything in the world. How much he loved and relied on his little white companion. But since he'd been here, slowly but surely, Nick had been replacing it. Occasionally Nick made him forget all about it. Nick gave him the ecstasy, the adrenalin rush that the drug gave him. Like lots of times before, Nick made his head spin, his heart race and his whole body explode.

Just like the drug.

He couldn't remember the last time someone had showed him as much love as Nick had. From the first time that they had slept together, Nick had given him more love in one touch, in kiss, in one whisper than anyone had ever given him in his whole life. And he loved Nick like nothing else.

Except...

Kevin bit down on his lower lip, contemplating the existence of the white powder that had somehow mysteriously gotten itself onto a little mirror and now he was staring down at it.

He didn't know how he let himself do what he did with Nick. It just felt natural. That's all he could think about. Him and Nick together was just natural. Like the sun shining, the sky being blue, the grass being green and the waves rolling against the sand. It was simply like that. Natural, and he loved Nick. He loved him. He loved him so much that he thought his heart might explode, and the fact that Howie might've worked it all out scared him.

He wondered if it scared Nick. But he didn't know. Nick was angry with him. And he knew he was right.

Kevin continued to stare down at the mirror on the bed. He knew that he had led Nick on. He knew that, and he held himself fully responsible. But there had to be some reason why he let Nick sleep in his bed. He had never before, even when the group had first gotten together and Nick was frighteningly homesick. Even then, when Nick considered Kevin to be his big brother, Kevin had never let him. He'd rather have a beautiful woman in his bed than a blonde annoying teenager. But somehow, that had changed and he found himself in the path of Nick's love.

Kevin ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "I can't...I won't...

Something came to him, a memory. Something that had happened a few years ago. He had found Nick crying backstage. Yet another girl had broken his heart.

"Nick?" Kevin sat down next to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "What's wrong?"

Nick furiously wiped his tears away. "She doesn't love me anymore, Kevin. She said she hates me and that...that...that..."

Kevin gently rubbed his shoulder. "Hey, stop crying," he said softly. "These things happen, and think of it this way. If she was the right one for you, she wouldn't have made you cry. And when you do find the right one, she'll never give you a reason to cry. Okay?"

Nick stared at Kevin with his red eyes and tear-stained face. "But when will I find the right one?"

Kevin saw a few more tears running down his face, so he knelt down and wiped them gently away. "You will, I promise."

Then, they stared at each other. Kevin stared down at Nick, and as if Kevin's eyes were luring him or had him in a trance, Nick stood up slowly and pressed himself against Kevin. Their eyes locked. Kevin felt Nick's hand on his chest, and Nick felt Kevin's hand on his back. Their eyes continued to lock, as though they couldn't look away. They leaned forward slowly, very slowly, until...

Kevin ran his fingers through his hair again. This time, in anger and distress. "Shit! Why did I let that happen?"

Like his reason for everything with Nick, and his reason for throwing the mirror and its white contents against the wall was simply this:

Kevin was in love.

~**~

"I'm a little tea-pot, short and stout..." Howie sang softly to himself as he walked into the kitchen with a pair of pink and white bunny slippers with long, floppy ears on his feet. This time, however, he had Tigger pyjamas on.

Nick rolled his eyes. "Howie! What is it with you and your damn pyjamas? First Winnie, now Tigger?"

"It's part of a new range," A.J announced. "The Howie D 'Bed-Time Friends For Nympho's' collection!"

"Why am I always the brunt of these pitful jokes?" Howie asked innocently.

"Because you're a shmuck!" A.J quipped. "And you love every minute of it!"

Kevin came staggering in with his hair tousled and his eyes still half-closed. "Morning," he murmured and placed his head on the counter.

"Someone looks like they haven't been gettin' enough," Howie joked and nudged A.J, who laughed.

"Hey, did I ask for your fucking analysis, nympho?" Kevin yelled.

"Nah, but ya gonna get it anyway!" A.J roared.

Howie chuckled. "Yeah, you're gonna get some, one way or another. Doesn't matter who, huh, Kevy?"

"Nah, he ain't too choosy," A.J added.

Nick, who had been silently fuming in the corner and biting back a string of retorts, finally snapped. "Listen here, you crazy fuckwits! If I ever hear any more jokes about who he's supposedly screwing, I'm gonna get the Doc to throw you all in solitary confinement, so shut the hell up!"

A.J pretended to be shocked and placed a hand over his heart. "My God, it's awake," he whispered.

Howie's eyes were wide. "It's the creature from the Black Lagoon."

Nick scowled. "I'm warning you - "

They both laughed and Howie patted his shoulder. "Go fuck yourself, Nick. You sure don't seem to be gettin' enough from a certain crack-head around here!"

"Good morning, gentlemen," Dr Sheffield said brightly and walked briskly into the kitchen. "I trust we all slept well."

Howie gave her a puppy dog look. "I can't sleep alone. I get scared. Can I sleep with you, Doc?"

They all groaned and Doctor Sheffield smiled in his direction. "Perhaps you'd like some valium from now on?"

"Or a laxative," A.J said to himself.

The doctor scanned the room. "Where is Mr Littrell? Is he still alseep?"

A.J rubbed his hands in excitement. "I demand to wake him up! I demand! I demand! Me!"

"Shotgun!" Howie yelled, and gave him a smug look.

"Bastard rule!" A.J yelled back, returning the same smug look.

"Bastard rule?" Howie repeated. "What the hell is that?"

"Well, you want to wake up Brian as well, and since you're a bastard - "

"Mr McLean, keep your mouth shut," the doctor snapped.

"Now who's the bastard?" Howie retorted softly, receiving a punch from A.J. "Owww! He hit me! Do something, Doc! Please!"

"Thank you, Mr McLean, hopefully that'll shut him up," the doctor said. "Now," she continued, flipping her blonde hair back over her shoulders, "today will be your first session together alone. But be warned. My assistants will be keeping watch, so don't try anything funny."

"Man, I'd like to try something funny on her," Howie said softly and smiled.

"Gentlemen, I suggest you go and get yourselves together and I'll see you in an hour," she announced.

Just as they all walked out, she added, "Mr Dorough, perhaps you'd like to know that I'm not awfully fond of bunnies or Tigger, either. Better luck next time."

They all laughed at him.

~****~

Kevin raced up to Nick, who had his back turned to him as he was unlocking the door to his room, and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Let go of me," Nick said on a low voice.

Kevin did as he was asked, but turned Nick around quickly and stared deep into his eyes. "Nick, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you, and I know I did. I love you."

Nick's eyes turned cold. "You're a hypocrite, Kevin, and I hate hypocrites."

Kevin stepped back. "How? How am I a hypocrite?"

Nick laughed sardonically. "You stand there, as though you're perfect, pretending to care about me and taking away my knife because you don't want me to hurt myself anymore. Yet, you're still getting high all the time! And that's what makes you a hypocrite!"

Kevin sighed, knowing Nick was fully right. "Just answer one thing for me."

Nick leaned against the door and crossed his arms. "Make it quick."

"Have you ever, even in the tiniest measurement, loved me in any way?"

Nick bit down on his lower lip to stop himself from crying at the sight of Kevin's sad expression. He wanted to take him in his arms, close the door on the world with him, and drown himself in Kevin's love. But he couldn't. Not anymore.

"Yes, I did love you. But you hurt me, and you made promises to me that you knew you couldn't keep. You lied to me and I deserve better than that." His expression turned strange. "You made me cry. Remember what you said about that, a long time ago?"

Kevin nodded. "I do, but I love you. I love you with all my heart. I-I - "

"Spit it out, you pathetic piece of shit," Nick said coldly.

Kevin took a small breath. "I smuggled some into the room with me, and when I went to use it, I didn't because I knew that you didn't like it. I knew that it hurt you, so I didn't."

"You expect me to believe that?" Nick asked. He pushed himself away from the door and gave Kevin a light push. "Let's get one thing straight, crack-head. You were simply using me because you knew I loved you. You knew I loved you and you knew that I would do anything for you, so you used me because you were fucking horny! Well, I refuse to be treated that way, Kevin! I want better than that, and I want better than you!"

Kevin was speechless, and his mouth dropped open slightly. "Umm..."

"What's the matter?" Nick countered. "Crack got your tongue?"

With that, Nick slammed the door in his face and Kevin stood standing there in disbelief. "No, you did. Because you're beautiful, even when you're angry."

~*****~

"Greetings, church-boy!" A.J yelled as Brian entered what the doctor called 'The Conference Room'. "Thought God might've kept you."

Brian lowered his head. "So cruel," he whispered.

A.J laughed and slapped him on the back. "It's all good, just fuckin' 'round."

Brian covered his ears. "No!"

Howie jumped onto a black couch and laid down. "Ah, the life that I love."

"Thinking of the Playboy Masion, huh?" A.J asked and slapped his legs when he walked past.

"No!" Howie replied. "Well uh..."

Nick sat down on the white-tiled floor. "Man, this sucks."

"Okay, listen up fellas," A.J announced. "Turns out that our escape route has been barred. She knew."

'What?" Kevin yelled. "How?"

A.J shrugged. "Don't ask me, but she's got some sort of fixation with you and Nick. Something she's called 'The Mr Carter and Mr Richardson Connection', or something like that."

Howie laughed. "Yeah, wonder why."

"Fuck you, Howie!" Nick yelled. "I'm sick of your shit."

Brian covered his ears. "No!"

"I'm sick of your shit!" Howie imitated in a high voice. "Yadda yadda yadda...blah blah blah..."

"Howie, keep your big fucking trap shut!" Kevin ordered. "What else?" he asked A.J.

"Well, she's got tapes in her drawers. I don't know what of, but I'll take a look at them next time I'm in there." A.J took a small breath. "This is my plan. I say we stay here until the time is up, but we keep raiding her office for more clues so we can be prepared for whatever she's going to pull."

Brian jumped up. "Let's sing!"

Howie jumped up, too, and began to sing. "Come on everybody, get on the floor, everybody walk the dinosaur..."

Kevin shook his head. "Oh, this is trippy."

"Bit like you, huh?" Nick retorted and turned his back on all of them.

"Glory, glory, hallelujah!" Brian sang at the top of his lungs, with his hand over his heart.

A.J couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, man! This is a fucking riot!"

Brian got down on his knees and began to sing in a prayer mode and Howie began to dance, with a few 'Saturday Night Fever', 'Stayin' Alive' and 'Walk Like An Eqyptian' moves included.

"Ah...ah...ah...ah...stayin' alive!" Howie yelled and ran around the room.

A.J doubled over with laughter, Kevin shook his head and Nick still kept his back on all of them, sliently pouting in the corner.

~******~

It's happening again, and they're continuing...

I can't stop it, and yet I feel that it's killing me...

They keep doing it, they won't stop...won't stop...won't stop...

Disgusting.

Vile.

Putrid.

Sickening.

They kiss.

They touch.

They caress.

They explore.

They continually do it, and I can't stop it...

It's not making me better, it's making me worse...

And yet, I feel that it's doing something to me...

Something I never thought it would...

Exciting me, making me want to do it...

~*******~

Doctor Sheffield sat down on the bed in her bedroom, making herself more comfortable and thinking about that day's events. She wanted so bad to make them all understand that she was just trying to help them, that they didn't have to be afraid of her the way they were. But were they really afraid of her? She didn't think so, they were all grown men, but it certainly seemed that way.

Somehow, some way, she had to find a way.

Soon.

They only had just a few more days left.

Maybe if she extended their time here, she could make a real effort.

What she needed was to get them on their own.

Really separate them, seclude them, in different houses, different places...

But Doctor Sheffield was only concerned about two of these gentlemen. They intrigued her, and when someone intrigued her, she definitely sort out their story.

Always.

~********~