~*~

Kevin ran up the steps of the house, in the middle of the hectic storm that had decided to recommence once again after taking a short and mild break, his heart racing and a million and one thoughts running through his head. He wanted to know why. He wanted to be stopped lying to. He wanted to be told the truth, just once and for all. He wanted a confrontation, and if what Nick had been saying was true, he also wanted nothing but murder.

Of Nick’s father, that is.

There was nothing more that he wanted to do than to get to the bottom of all of this mess, find out once and for all if Nick really was lying to them, and gain their revenge, and finally get Nick the help that he so sorely needed. And that was obvious. Nick needed help. Wasn’t really any secret to anyone. All they had to do was look into his eyes and they would see that frightened, lost little boy look, and instantly just know that he was trapped and dying.

Dying, within himself.

Just an explanation was all he wanted. The truth was all he was craving, and just a reason was all he needed. He needed a reason. He needed reasons. So many reasons. He needed a reason for Nick always crying and screaming in his sleep. He needed a reason for Nick feeling like he was trapped every time he was in a room by himself. He needed a reason for Nick always feeling as though everyone was against him.

And, the biggest two reasons of all that Kevin needed, and everyone else needed, was who the hell that guy was out in the rain when Nick was supposedly so homophobic and why Nick’s dad was somehow involved. So, yeah, Kevin needed reasons, and so did everyone else. He needed them, and he deserved them. For putting up with everything that Nick had put them all through every time he went over the edge in a fit of hysteria.

And sure, everyone had a little bit of a cry every now and again, but nothing like that, and nothing like Nick.

All these questions he needed answers for, and he decided right then and there, as he opened the front door just past three in the morning, the thunder beginning to rumble again and the silver beam of the lightning bringing everything aglow, that finally, once and for all, he’d get those answers, no questions asked, and no fits of hysteria entered into. And if Nick put up a fight, he’d just fight back. And just as tough, too, for whatever Nick could dish out, Kevin could take and throw back a million times harder, and a million times faster.

He hadn’t told anyone yet as to what he saw, and he knew that Nick didn’t know that he had seen the two men together, but he knew what had to have gone on. He wasn’t stupid, and he could certainly pull the pieces together and form the convoluted and intensely complex puzzle. Just the sight of Nick and that man together, kissing, the way Nick seemed to be gripping him so tightly, so possessively and the force in which he kissed him was just...too, well...brought back a few memories of himself.

Kevin just wanted this whole thing to be over, once and for all, and finally have the old Nick back. The Nick who laughed and loved to have fun. Not the Nick that constantly cried and screamed for help, and then when he was granted with it, pushed it all away. The Nick who used to make jokes about everyone, and everything. Not the Nick who was paranoid and obviously fearing for his life around them, and who felt like he had to lie to save some part of his sanity, a least in the eyes of his friends.

But they knew what he was like, and had been like, for so long, so for Nick to pretend that nothing was wrong was just a goddamn joke that just wasn’t at all funny. Yeah, in a weird and twisted sort of way, but definitely not funny as in ‘ha ha’.

Kevin just wanted Nick back, and that was all he would ever want for as long as he lived.

He ran down the hall to where Nick’s room was located at and stood standing at the closed door, soaking wet from the never-ending rain, his hair matted and his pulse racing at a million miles a second. He had some questions to ask. He had some yelling to do. And he had some help to give out, and that was why he was there. To help, and nothing more. But he was angry. Yeah, he was definitely angry, and he knew that the others were, and would be when they found out what had been going on being their backs and that Nick had been lying to them for so long...

Kevin hard-pressed the door open, slamming it against the adjacent wall and found Nick lying in bed, the blanket pulled up tightly to his chin, curled up in a foetal position, dead to the world. Obviously tired after that night’s/early morning’s sexual escapades with God knows who that guy was. Guy. That was what Kevin would call him. Some random guy. Kevin ripped the blanket off Nick, grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him out of bed. Or at least until he was sitting up. Or awake, even, though he appeared to be very deep within the world of slumber, but Kevin didn’t care.

He’d just rip Nick right out of that world and back into the land of the living, and hopefully once and for all.

"Who is he, Nick?" Kevin yelled. "Who the hell is he?!"

Nick mumbled an unintelligent reply and rubbed his eyes, still a little out of sorts from his deep slumber. "Umm...I don’t...know." he whispered. He then winced and clutched his head. "Ow, head hurts."

Kevin stood over Nick; hands on his hips, refusing to move a single inch and using his height and strength to somewhat scare Nick. "I saw you, Nick," he insisted firmly. "Now who is he?" he added in a loud voice.

Nick then held up his arms to protect himself, as though he were a child and trying to gain solitude from his father when he’d done wrong. "I don’t know who you’re talking about!"

Kevin felt more and more anger boiling in the pit of his stomach and grabbed Nick by the shoulders and shook him strongly. "Don’t fucking lie to me!" he screamed. "You lie to me one more time and I’ll fucking kill you! Now who was the guy?!"

Tears streaked down Nick’s face, his eyes a blurry, red watery mess. "Nobody!" he wailed. "I don’t know who you’re talking about!"

"Bullshit!" Kevin yelled. "I saw you, I saw him, and I saw you kissing! What the hell have you been doing with him, huh? A quick fuck whenever things go wrong, just to help ease a little tension? You’re a hypocrite, Nick, a fucking hypocrite!"

"I’m not!" Nick screamed, just a little bit of life beginning to show in his eyes. "I’m not, I’m not, and I’m NOT!"

"No?" Kevin yelled. "Ask me how many times I’ve saved you from being beaten up by gays because of the rude and disgusting comments you’ve made to their faces? Ask me how many times I’ve rescued you because of that? Ask me how many times you’ve wanted to spit on a gay couple whenever you saw them? Ask me, Nick, ask me! It’s millions! MILLIONS!"

Nick covered his eyes with his hands. "I don’t know who you’re talking about!"

"Don’t lie to me!" Kevin yelled. "I swear to God I’ll kill you if you lie to me one more time! I mean it, Nick, I mean it!"

"Hey, back off!" came Brian’s voice from behind them both and suddenly, Howie and A.J. came running in behind him and stood at the door, their eyes wide at the sight of Nick crying again and the intense and rather scary look of anger and fury on Kevin’s face. Brian shoved Kevin away and chested up to him, not really caring about their difference in height and strength.

"Leave him alone, Kevin." His blue eyes bored warningly into Kevin’s. "Back...off. I mean it."

Howie ran over to Nick, who was then curled up in the blanket, like a child would if he were scared of the dark and crying, softly but strongly. He wrapped his arms around Nick, who gladly fell into the embrace and began to cry harder. "Shh, Nicky," he crooned quietly, patting his hair and looking up at the three remaining men in alarm. "Shhh, we’re here now. It’s okay."

A.J. stepped forward and grabbed hold of Kevin’s arm. "Can I see you for a minute?" he asked in a low voice, giving Kevin a stern look and nodding in the direction of the hallway.

Kevin rolled his eyes. "Whatever," he sighed and gave one last look at Nick sobbing into Howie’s arms before finding himself out in the doorway, consumed by Brian and A.J.’s looks of curiosity and them obviously demanding an explanation of some sort. Kevin sighed again. "He’s...umm...I saw him..."

"Saw him, what?" A.J. demanded, eyeing Kevin with frustration. "Saw him doing what?"

"Jesus, you made him into a goddamn mess!" Brian exclaimed. "Why did you have to do that for? We only asked you to look out for him, not make him hysterical again!"

"I saw him kissing another guy!" Kevin cried. "Okay, understand? He was kissing another man and he’s probably been having sex with him from what I could tell! Now do you understand? He’s a hypocrite! Nothing but a hypocrite..."

Brian’s hand carefully and slowly covered his mouth, his crystal blue eyes wide with terror. "Are you...serious?" he whispered.

"Damn serious," Kevin said softly.

A.J. let out a quiet, disappointed sound. "Aww, shit," he sighed. "What the hell is wrong with him? I mean, he’s hated all that junk for so long – "

"And he makes such horrible comments about them," Brian injected.

"Just a show," Kevin informed them, shrugging. "A façade, something he hides behind to protect himself."

Brian frowned. "So do you think that’s why he’s sick, because he doesn’t want to admit what he is?"

A.J. widened his eyes. "No," he said suddenly, looking as though he were having a revelation. "His father. He’s got to be involved somehow, some way." He paused and frowned, looking at Brian and Kevin periodically. "You don’t think Nick’s father did anything, do you?" He turned to Kevin. "Do you think he did anything to Nick? I mean, you’re the oldest, you’d be the first to see and understand the signs if he was."

"And that’s a big if," Brian insisted, frowning also.

"I don’t know, and if he is, or did..." Kevin trailed off, shaking his head. "But he needs help, and it’s up to us to save him."

With slightly renewed vigour, the three entered the room once again, still finding Nick crying in Howie’s arms, but Howie’s eyes now filled with unshed tears and the sad and helpless expression on his face was undeniable. They stopped and stared at how tightly Nick was clutching Howie, as though he was a child and his life depended on it, and him softly sobbing into Howie’s shoulder, the blanket still wrapped around him. Howie looked up at them with a terrified expression on his face and shrugged, obviously asking for some sort of help.

Kevin knelt down by Nick and gingerly touched his shoulder. "Nick, stop crying and look at me."

Nick sniffed loudly and was given a tiny push from Howie and stared into Kevin’s eyes. "Don’t yell at me," he whispered. "Please."

Kevin shook his head. "No, Nick, I’m not," he soothed quietly, carefully rubbing his shoulder to calm him, his fingertips kneading into Nick’s soft skin. "Can you tell me who he is? Why, Nick, why?"

"Why, what?" Howie asked, obviously perplexed. When nobody answered, he sighed. "Why can’t anybody tell me what goes on around here?!"

Kevin turned his head to look at Brian and A.J. "Can you...?"

A.J. placed a hand on Howie’s shoulder. "I think we need to have a talk."

Kevin waited for the door to close behind them before he continued speaking to Nick, who had started sobbing again. "Nick, stop crying," he begged, hesitantly reaching up and gingerly wiped away the tears that were running down Nick’s cheek. "Look, it doesn’t matter who he is, it doesn’t. But why did you have to lie to us? You didn’t have to, you know. We would understand."

Nick frowned. "Huh?" He stared anxiously into Kevin’s eyes. "Kevin, you’re not making sense!"

Kevin sat down on the bed next to Nick and placed an arm around his shoulders. "Nick, I’m going to tell you something I’ve never told anybody, if it’ll make things better for you," he said softly. "I’ve been through that kind of thing before, you know, with men. It was when I was a lot of younger, of course, but I was curious. I define myself as a personality not a sexuality, and maybe you are, too. Maybe you’re just curious, and that’s okay. Honestly, it’s okay."

Nick shoved Kevin away and backed up against the wall, covering his eyes. "Faggot!" he screamed. "Fucking faggot! Leave me alone! Fuck off! Leave...me...alone!"

Kevin saw something that caught his eye, Nick’s wrists. They had marks on them. Red marks. Cuff marks. He knew what they looked like. Pretty much everyone could. "Nick, your wrists," he whispered, pointing down at them. "What happened?"

Slowly, cautiously, Nick lowered his hands from his eyes and turned his hands over, staring down at them in confusion. "I...what? I don’t understand..."

Kevin took a step away, his mouth falling open in horror. "Oh, you’ve got to be kidding..."

Nick continued to frown, staring up at Kevin with child-like innocence. "Kevin, what are you talking about? What guy? Who? I don’t understand!" he wailed.

Suddenly, Kevin sprung into action and grabbed Nick by the arm. "That’s it, get up," he ordered, pulling him along towards the door, ignoring his cries to let him go. "Might as well save your voice, Nick, because it ain’t going to help!"

Kevin opened the door and pushed Nick through the doorway and into the arms of Brian and A.J., who were waiting and immediately took hold of him and led him down the hallway, trying to quieten his incessant screaming and trying in vain to control him in their grasp, for he began to wriggle in their clutches like a snake.

"Let me go! No! STOP! Let me go! Please! I’ll be good, I promise! I won’t do anything bad! I’ll be good! PLEASE!"

Brian blinked back his tears. "Come on, Nick, it’ll be good for you."

A.J. patted Nick’s head. "You need help, buddy, and you’ll get it," he whispered. "Trust me."

Nick screamed one last time as he was led through the front door, just like a man on death row. "NOOOOOOO!"

Nick’s screaming filled the corridor and echoed through and both Kevin and Howie winced when the door slammed behind them. They both slowly turned to each other and stared into one another’s eyes, feeling the same sense of sadness and heart-wrenching sorrow fill and overcome them. And then, as though they were some sort of kindred spirits for having been through the same ordeal together, they both held each other tightly and sobbed soft, quiet tears, hoping and praying for salvation.

~**~