©  Sweet Kisses™

~*~

But tell me...
Can you heal what father’s done?
Or fix this hole in mother’s son?
Can you heal the broken worlds within?
Can you strip away so we may start again?

All four men stood in front of the room in which Nick was in, accompanied by three doctors in long white coats. The men peered in through the glass of the door that happened to be locked and watched with sad, teary eyes at Nick sitting on the floor, his back against the wall, wearing white, his face pale and showing no emotion, his knees tucked tightly to his chest in the fashion that a little boy would when he was being scolded, one doctor raising Nick’s head ever so slightly and gently to shine a tiny light into his eyes, to check to see if there was some kind of life within them.

And there wasn’t.

There hadn’t been life within Nick for years. They all knew that, and all too well. Though they had seen a lot in their time, to see nothing from Nick made them all feel like they were somehow responsible for all this.

The glass of the door and the lock on it was the only thing that was protecting Nick from the outside world and all the horrors that were held within it. The world outside was no longer safe for Nick. The world outside just held too many horrible things that Nick was unfortunately subjected to. Even though they had all vowed to protect each other since the beginning, nothing could protect Nick from this. There was nothing they could do to stop it, and there was nothing that they could do to bring Nick out of this. All they could do was hope and pray that maybe, just maybe, Nick would bring himself out of the lost world that he lived in, had been living in, for so long.

None of them could believe the enormity of what he had gone through. None of them could believe that what Nick had been through, they had never known or seen. Seen anything, something, which could’ve told them that Nick was being subjected to one of the vilest crimes in all of humanity. Nothing told them that this had been happening to him. There were no signs, no evidence, no nothing. There was nothing that told them that Nick was being hurt and tortured, in the worst way, and they felt more guilty for it. Because they didn’t know and because they could do nothing because they didn’t know made them want to revenge even more than they already did. Which was a hell of a lot.

Nick still sat there on the floor of the room he was in, his knees still curled up to his chest, his back still against the wall, wearing white, his face devoid of emotion, his eyes simply staring at the wall in front of him. The four men could hear the doctors trying to speak to him, to attain some kind of a reaction, but there was nothing. Nick just continued to stare at the wall. He didn’t move a single inch. It was as though he was a human statue, his whole body was unable to move, or he didn’t want to move, or he was made of concrete. He just wouldn’t move. And he probably didn’t want to move either, after everything he had been through.

They all just wanted him to be better again. If there was nothing else in the world that they could have, or hope, or wish for, it would be for Nick to be back to his old self again. He needed their protection. He just wasn’t safe anymore. The walls surrounding him did, and they did. They would protect him. Even if it meant putting their own lives on the line, they would do that. Just to show what it meant to care for someone, and maybe if they showed that care to Nick, if they made Nick realize that he was cared for, maybe he would get better again. But he had to get better again.

He just had to.

Kevin pressed his head against the glass and stared at Nick inside the locked room with tears in his eyes. “He looks so helpless,” he whispered. “He looks like such a little boy.”

Howie patted Kevin’s shoulder consolingly, feeling every bit of agony and pain and hurt that Kevin was feeling. “He’ll be all right, he’s getting help,” he murmured, “so don’t worry. He’ll be okay.”

Kevin whirled around to face Howie, tears springing from his eyes and running down his cheeks. He felt like his heart was breaking, and he wondered whether or not his heart would ever heal again. “How the hell would you know? How the hell would you know if Nick’s going to be all right? You don’t know if he’s going to be all right!” He pointed to the door. “Do you see him in there?! Do you?! Take a good close look at him! Does it look like he’s going to be okay to you? Does it?!”

Howie felt even more hurt than he already was by Kevin’s sudden outburst and wondered why Kevin was taking all his anger out on him. He tried to understand that Kevin was just in need of venting, but that didn’t mean that Kevin had to take it out on everyone else. He didn’t understand why Kevin felt it was necessary to yell at them all, when they were all feeling the same pain he was. They were all tired, they were all worried, and they were all hurt.

All five of them, some just in different ways than others.

“Don’t yell at me, Kevin. I’m right here with you, along side you, so don’t go feeling as though you’re the only one that can feel any of this. We are, too. Remember that.”

Kevin stared at Howie for a moment after wiping away his tears and felt Brian and A.J.’s eyes on him, also. He knew what they were thinking, feeling and all the emotions inside of them. He knew exactly what it was that they were feeling, because he was feeling it, too. They were thinking that they needed to stick together, to fight together, to overcome this together and make Nick better and heal him together, not apart. For if they divided at any time, Nick would never get the help that he needed.

Kevin lowered his head. “Sorry.”

Brian eyed Kevin with understanding and compassion. “Calm down, okay? We’re all here and we’re all together. None of us are going through this alone, okay?”

Kevin nodded. “Yeah, I know.”

They all turned back to the door again to stare inside the room through the glass, gazing at Nick still curled up on the floor with his back against the door. A doctor was now kneeling in front of him, holding a wristwatch before his eyes and making it swing from one side to another and talking to him in a soothingly soft and resonant tone of voice.

Two doctors stood standing behind the doctor, staring down at Nick with impassive expressions. But surely they had to realize that Nick was registering nothing of what they were doing or saying. It was like he became lifeless. Just hours before he had been hysterical. Hours after, he was lifeless. He just sat there, still staring at the wall, taking no notice of the doctors around him or the wristwatch that was swinging calmly before his eyes. He registered nothing.

And maybe that was his way of dealing with everything that had been done to him. If he registered no emotion or feeling, then he would feel nothing.

A.J. leaned against the door and stared down at his feet, sighing in despondency. No matter how tough times had been in the past, he knew that if he made it through this, he’d be fit for anything. He felt emotionally and physically drained, and he wanted to cry. He wanted to cry in the worst way ever. He wanted to cry for himself, for the pain he was feeling. He wanted to cry for his friends, for the hurt and agony they were feeling, and most of all he wanted to cry for Nick, for what he had been subjected to.

He slowly raised his head and placed his hand on Kevin’s arm. “What’s our next move?”

Kevin didn’t look in A.J.’s direction; he continued to keep his eyes firmly on Nick, who was still not responding to anything. “I say we raid his parent’s house.”

Brian sidled up to Kevin’s side, his eyes wide, and his voice anxious. “Are you serious?” he cried. ‘What the hell for?”

That made Kevin turn around and his eyes were shining with the leadership qualities that they all knew well. “His fucking asshole of a father has evidence of what he’s made Nick do. So my plan is that we go to their house and find whatever we can to nail this bastard once and for all. Then when we do, we call the cops and they’ll throw his ass in jail, where he can get treated the way he’s been treating Nick. After all, it’s only fair.”

Howie crossed his arms defiantly. “Who’s to say that Nick’s father won’t have destroyed whatever evidence he had, on the presumption that Nick might remember something? And who’s to say that Nick hasn’t made this whole thing up?”

Kevin narrowed his eyes, the greenness in them lighting up like flames. “I’m about two fucking seconds away from decking – “

“Hey!” Brian cut in quickly, stepping between them. “Look, let’s not start all this again. Okay? Can we not do this right now?” When he received no answer, he took that positively. “Good. Now, I agree with Kevin. If Nick’s father has any evidence, any at all, we’ve got to take the chance to find it. And if he happens to be there...well...we’re four against one.”

“We’ll pound his ass,” A.J. stated strongly.

Kevin rolled his eyes. “Great. Now we’re the vigilantes. Wonderful.” 

“So what do you say?” Brian asked Kevin hopefully.

“Let’s go.”

~**~

“Nobody’s home.”

“Perfect.”

They stood at the door in front of the house that Nick’s parents lived in and stared up at it. As majestic as it was, they didn’t really care about that. The sun was just beginning to rise and flooded the sky with a multitude of red, orange and blue, and it seemed as though the storm had disappeared. If only the storm in their lives had disappeared with it.

But it didn’t, it still remained. It seemed like it was going to be a beautiful day and it was ironic that the sun happened to be shining on one of the worst days in all of their lives. None of them had truly experienced anything like this, though both Howie and Kevin had somewhat, but to the others, this was just the worst nightmare that they could’ve ever faced.

None of them found it bizarre or weird or uncanny that nobody happened to be home. In fact, they didn’t even care. They didn’t wonder where his parents were, they weren’t curious, they didn’t care one little bit. All they cared about was rushing through the place, finding whatever they could find and then getting the hell out of there, before anyone became suspicious of four unknown men entering an unoccupied house. The house stood proud before them and they all wondered what kind of secrets it held and whether or not this type of thing had happened to any of Nick’s siblings.

If it happened to one, why not another?

“All right,” Kevin said, turning around to face the others. “We go in, work as quickly as possible, find whatever we can and we get the hell out. No mucking about, no taking time to look at old photos and memories, no messing up the place. We don’t want to let them know that we were here. Just work as quickly and as neatly as possible.”

After finding the doors unlocked, which they didn’t want to take the time to decipher, all four men divided themselves, taking different sections of the house in a need to search more quickly. Kevin searched through the bedrooms upstairs while Brian searched through different closets on the same floor. Howie searched through the downstairs closets and rooms while A.J. took to the attic.

But they all were listening to any sounds of arrivals of anyone. Whether it be neighbors, parents, whoever. They were all on the look out and were listening intently while they searched. They just couldn’t get caught. This was simply crucial to Nick. This was Nick’s life they were trying to save and nothing could ruin it.

Kevin worked quickly and tidily through the master bedroom and found nothing in the drawers or under the bed. He walked quickly into the closet and skimmed through the clothing that was hanging up on hangers. He systematically pushed clothing back to reveal nothing but a line of neatly-placed shoes. Sighing, he looked up and found a ledge. Standing on his tiptoes, he ran his hand across it, to feel what was lurking. He felt nothing but woolly old coats that had probably been there for years. Sighing again, he looked around himself, not knowing where else to look.

But something came to him. He remembered reading about a murderer whose evidence was hiding behind coats in a closet. The detective was shrewd enough to look behind them. Kevin bit down on his lower lip and ran for the wooden chair that was located in the bedroom. Carrying it quickly into the closet, he stood up on it and finally came face to face with the coats. Lifting them up systemically again, dust quickly filled the air around him. Coughing, he lifted up the last three coats that were stacked in a pile at the end of the ledge to reveal a shoebox.

Warning bells suddenly resounded in his head.

Standing down slowly, he very carefully lifted the lid to reveal the contents. He let out a strangled cry when he saw what was in the box. Tapes. Black video tapes. Only three. But it was enough. He placed the coats back on the ledge in their right place, placed the chair back in the bedroom and walked slowly out of the room. His legs felt suddenly weak. His heart was racing. He felt dizzy, as though he were going to faint. When he reached the stairs, he heard voices from the first floor.

He took the stairs one step at a time, holding onto the railing for support, the box nestled underneath his arm. 

Brian looked toward the stairs and raised his eyebrows inquisitively at what Kevin was holding. “What’s that?”

“You told us no photos,” Howie objected, trying to lighten the mood. When it didn’t, he sighed. “All right, no laughter. Fine. But we didn’t find anything. There’s nothing here.”

Kevin tapped the lid of the box with his palm. “I did. Three, to be exact.”

They immediately fell silent, simply staring at each other with wide eyes. A.J. suddenly came running in from most likely the basement, dust covering his clothes. “Nothing. Absolutely nothing. They must have – “ He stopped short when he noticed that none of them were talking or moving and that his friend’s eyes were wide with apprehension and nervousness. “What? What’s going on?”

Brian merely pointed to the box underneath Kevin’s arm.

Soon, they all stood in front of the TV, waiting for something, anything. And then they were greeted with a grey fuzzy line, which soon turned into what looked like Nick at only twelve years-old. They all held their breath and watched a very young Nick who, at that age, would do anything anyone asked without question. And a voice came through. A male voice. A familiar male voice. A voice which they recognized as soon as they heard it:

“Okay, Nicky, let’s try something fun,” the male voice said in one of those ‘this-is-good-for-you’ type of voices. A voice that would calm and soothe Nick, even if he thought or knew or believed that what he was doing was wrong. “Kneel down for moment, huh? Yeah, on your knees. That’s right. Good boy.”

They could see that Nick was scared. They could tell. His eyes were wide; his hands were shaking, and they all could tell that Nick didn’t like where he was or what he was forced to do. He slowly raised his head, giving the camera that was hidden to the four men an innocent lamb gaze. “Daddy...?”

“It’s okay, Nicky, you’re doing well. Just raise yourself a little. Don’t lean against your legs. Kneel, but stand on your knees. Understand?”

A very impressionable and young Nick looked down at his legs, looked back up in the direction of the camera with still an innocent lamb gaze and reluctantly placed himself in the position he was asked to. When he looked back up again, tears were shining in his baby-blue scared and fearful eyes. “Daddy...?”

“Good boy, Nicky. Good boy.”

While Nick continued to stare in the direction of the camera, out of nowhere another male who was older than Nick, possibly in his late teens and none of the four men recognized him from anywhere appeared next to Nick. In front of Nick. Standing directing in front of him and concealed any sight of Nick. “Daddy...?”

“What the hell - ?” Kevin said, completely baffled.

The male voice continued to talk. “Okay, Nicky, let’s try something different, huh? Place your hands on his legs. It’s okay, Nicky, don’t cry. You’re doing well. No, not there. Higher. No, higher. There, that’s better. Now, lift up his shirt. Good boy. Remove his belt. Don’t cry, Nicky, you’re doing well. You’re doing excellent. Place it on the floor next to you. Good boy. Now, carefully remove his pants. Nicky, I’ve told you before, stop crying. Now, remove his pants. That’s right, start there. And stop shaking. Be gentle. That’s it, keep going. You’re almost done. There. Good boy. Wasn’t so hard, was it? Now, scoot forward a little, okay? Nicky, how many times have I told you to stop crying?! There’s nothing to cry about. Stop being a baby. Now, move forward. That’s right. Now, take hold of – “

“Stop the tape,” Kevin said, breaking the silence in a soft voice. They all remained transfixed, their eyes wide, their mouths agape. And none of them moved. “I said stop the tape!”

Brian shook himself out of his trance and stopped the tape, quickly ejecting it and placing it back in the box. And then, they all stared at each other again, their eyes wide, their mouths agape, their hearts racing. And they would’ve stayed that way, too, if it hadn’t have been for the sound of a car from the outside.

A.J. quickly ran over to the window and peered outside. When he turned around, his eyes were dancing with expectancy. “It’s Nick’s father. Let’s do this!”

“No,” Kevin interrupted quickly, eyeing A.J. with agitation. “You and Brian go back to Nick. Make sure he’s doing okay. Howie and I will stay here and confront dear old Mr Carter here. Just make sure that nothing’s happened to Nick. And oh yeah. On your way out? Call the cops. Tell ‘em we’ve got a pedophile on our hands.”

~***~