~*~

“I was thinking that it should go something like...” Kevin frowned and scanned over the words before him. “Well, instead of saying, this is you and me. What about...” He scribbled down a sentence before reading it aloud. “Always will be you and me?”

“For eternity,” Nick suggested, casting Kevin a small smile across the table. “Always will be you and me, for eternity.”

All five men sat around a wooden table, slumped in their chairs with fatigued expressions on their faces. They had been working hard for thirteen consecutive hours for five consecutive days and it was finally taking its toll on them all. Though they loved their job and they loved writing their own music, sometimes it was just so much easier letting someone else write the songs for them.

But they didn’t want that. They didn’t want someone to write their material when they had ideas and brains of their own. Though it was a lot harder and more draining writing their own songs, they wouldn’t have had it any other way. They all knew that at the end of the day, seeing all their names underneath the title of a song, knowing that it had come from their mind, their heart and their love for music, was just enough to get them through the long hours.

And long hours they did put forth for their highly anticipated new album. It was something that was precious to them all, for this one was going to be radically different from all the others that had their name on it. This time they were going to do everything themselves. Writing, producing, mixing, everything, right down to what the CD would actually look like once it was pressed.

They would even decide on what photos would be used, what colors, the designs, absolutely everything. And this was where they really felt in their element, for this was what they always wanted. To be the creators and producers of their own music, and not have someone else tell them what to sing and how to sing. They wanted to do everything on their own terms, and now they would finally get to do so.

And so it came to be that the men were finally progressing, changing, evolving, moving on. Not apart, but together. They would never move apart. There was just too much history between them. Far too much history. Almost ten long years of living together had made them feel that way.  They had experienced and gone through so much together, it didn’t seem like a normal life.

To anyone else, it wouldn’t. But to them, it was a normal life. It was their life, and they loved to live it. And they were all growing up and changing and making lives for themselves away from the music and spotlight and stage.

Brian had been married already for two happy years. A.J. was almost ready to jump on the marriage wagon and join Brian down that mystical path called “forever”. After a series of blundered relationships, Howie had finally found a keeper, someone he loved going home to and disappearing with for a while when he needed to. Though he wasn’t in a hurry to join Brian and A.J., he was happy and for him, that was enough. For the time being.

And Nick and Kevin had remained the closest out of the five men. Well, as close as close could possibly get in terms of relationships. Around the time Brian had gotten married, Nick and Kevin had found something special between them. Most likely something that had been there for a long time, but hadn’t really surfaced until both men realized and became aware of what they were feeling. It all started over beer and bourbon at one of their all-time favourite places, a place which they were all recognized at one stage or another, when Nick was twenty and Kevin had reached the age of twenty-nine and closely hitting thirty, the age of no return.

However, after spending more and more alone with each other, they realized that there was a connection. A close connection. A very close connection, one of which they both couldn’t ignore. And so, they began to find out just what would happen if they did decide to proceed with that connection, and after all, it was intriguing to the both of them. After much talking with their friends, they made that connection deeper and the rest, as they say, was history.

Their relationship was no hindrance to the group or the group’s work. They both understood that when they were working as part of that group, they were always professional at all times. They didn’t let their relationship interfere, which was something the others feared when they first became a couple, but now had nothing of the sort to worry about. The remaining three friends admired and respected them for their courage and still valued them as friends and brothers. What they did behind closed doors, was their business. And Nick and Kevin couldn’t have been happier with the outcome.

Brian sighed and dropped his pen to the table. “All right, that’s it,” he said, stifling a yawn. “I’ve had enough and I think it’s time we called it a day.”

Howie nodded and rose from his chair. “I totally agree.” He grabbed his jacket and cast them a drained smile. “See you all tomorrow.”

“I’ll walk out with you,” Brian offered and after exchanging a few last words, they disappeared into the night.

A.J. raised his eyebrows. “Any of you going to follow suit? Because...” He checked his watch. “I certainly am.”

Nick scanned what he had already written and shook his head. He wanted to finish what he had already started and he knew that if he went home, he’d never get it done. Distractions were there. Of the Kevin variety. So he decided then and there to stay back an hour or so, or at least until he had the song finished. It wouldn’t take him too long.

“No, I’m going to stay here for a little while longer. I want to get this song finished and I’ll let you have a read of it tomorrow.”

A.J. chuckled and shrugged into his jacket. “Nick the perfectionist.” He nodded in Kevin’s direction. “Looks like he’s having an effect on you.”

“But a nice one,” Kevin said with a fond smile in Nick’s direction.

“All right, all right,” A.J. sighed. “You staying, too, Kevin?”

Kevin shook his head, keeping his eyes firmly on Nick. “I’ll be out in a minute, okay?”

A.J. yawned in response. “I’m too tired to care. Meet you outside.”

Kevin waited until A.J. had left the room before he continued speaking. He held out his hand and helped Nick to his feet and kept him stable by fastening his arms around Nick’s waist. He stared into Nick’s eyes with still a fond look.

“Why do you want to stay here?”

Nick looked back at what he was in the process of writing. “Well, I just want to get that song finished and I don’t want anyone to think that I don’t care or that I’m not willing to work hard.”

Kevin smiled softly. “Nick,” he scolded affectionately, “you’ve put in more hours over the past four or so days than all of us combined!” The smile slowly died from his face. “And don’t you remember what day it is?”

Nick sighed quietly. He remembered what day it was. He remembered it well. It was their two year anniversary, was what day it was. He hated the look on Kevin’s face and in his eyes, but surely there was some way around it, where he could finish the song and spend time with Kevin. And then, out of nowhere, he had an epiphany.

“I won’t be here too much longer. I’ll finish the song as quickly as possible, and then I’ll come home to you.” He smiled and kissed Kevin’s forehead. “That sound okay?”

Kevin pretended to think this over. “But you know what else sounds good,” he murmured, pressing a soft kiss against the side of Nick’s neck, gently nuzzling the place below Nick’s ear, a resonant tone floating through Nick’s ears. “You, me, candles, red wine, soft music, sitting before our little fireplace, celebrating our love and what we have together...”

Nick chuckled. “Yeah, and we all know what celebrating would turn out to be,” he quipped, kissing Kevin tenderly and holding him warmly against his chest. “But I promise I won’t be too long. Two hours. Max.”

Kevin narrowed his eyes. “Promise?”

Nick crossed his heart with a finger. “Promise. Now go, so I can get this finished already.”

Kevin smiled again. “All right,” he agreed, returning the tender kiss and letting Nick go to pick up his jacket. He turned around and gave Nick a small but loving smile before walking out. “Don’t work too hard, baby.”

Nick smiled back and watched Kevin walk out, a nice feeling warming his entire body and his heart fluttering. He just stood staring at the door for several moments, thinking of how lucky he was to have someone like Kevin who understood him and loved him as Kevin did, and always would. He had been searching for that kind of love for so long and to find that it was right in front of him, within Kevin, his best friend, was almost a miracle. He knew he was truly lucky.

“I won’t,” Nick whispered to himself and sat down again to start writing, for the quicker he started writing, the sooner the song would be finished, and the sooner he finished the song, the quicker he could return to his love.

~**~

Nick yawned for what seemed like the millionth time that night and frowned over what he had written. With a pen in hand, he began to amend the song. He yawned again and his vision became slightly blurry, a sign that he was well over-tired. He leaned back in his chair and closed his eyes, just relaxing for a moment. Silence surrounded him and he loved it. He found that he could do more work and work more productively with no people or noise surrounding him. He opened his eyes and remembered. His promise. He checked his watch and gasped. It had been over two hours. He sighed and began collecting all the rough drafts and numerous pieces of paper scattered across the table and left them sitting in a neat pile. He’d take care of them the next day.

Nick took his jacket off the seat next to where he was sitting and slung it over his arm after fishing out a set of keys. He yawned again. “Okay, I really have to go home now,” he said to himself and walked out, but not before locking the doors behind him.

He walked out into the open air and desolate car-park. A cool gust of wind greeted him as he walked out and a small shuddering chill ran through his body. He quickly slipped on his jacket and continued walking over to his car, the only car left in the park. It was like a lone child that had no friends to play with. Except for it wasn’t exactly a poor child. It was a rich child. His car was a BMW, after all.

He chuckled softly at the analogy and checked his watch again. He knew exactly what Kevin would be thinking and feeling. He’d be slightly angry. But more upset than anything. And he could imagine just what would be waiting for him. Perhaps a repeat of their first anniversary. Nick smiled to himself as he kept on walking towards his car, knowing that Kevin would be a little upset. But Nick would make it up to him, in the nicest way possible...

“Hey, Nick Carter!”

Nick turned around and saw four Hispanic teenagers approaching him. He gave them a smile. “Hey!”

One of the boys that couldn’t have been older than sixteen proceeded to step forward and shake Nick’s hand forcefully and spoke in a heavily accented voice. “Hey, man, just wanted to say that you rock, you know?” The others nodded in agreement. “Love your music, love you guys, love everything.”

That hit a nerve in Nick’s heart and he continued to smile, out of gratitude and happiness. “Thank you,” he said sincerely. “Thanks so much. It really means a lot.”

“Yeah, you know it’s pretty cool,” the boy continued, “singing about life and love and girls when in reality, you’re a fucking faggot!”

The smile slowly died on Nick’s face and he felt his heart sinking. “Huh?”

With that, the four boys grabbed hold of Nick and dragged him across the car-park into a darkened alley that was located behind the building. Crates of nothing that were no longer used by companies and corporations that were in the area were obviously dumped there and a stray cat let out a hallowing meow when she heard the scuffle of shoes and quickly scurried away. The four boys threw Nick against a brick wall.

The boy’s almost black eyes were suddenly on fire, his face a twisted mask of anger and fury. “You like men, huh?” he snarled, clenching his fist and befriending it with Nick’s solar plexus and a dull, low moan of pain escaped Nick’s lips and he doubled over in agony, only to be held up again by two of the boys.

“You like fucking men, huh? We’ll show you what we do to fairies like you!”

And again, another fist connected with Nick’s abdomen and after another cry of pain, they let Nick drop to the cold, hard ground, where all four boys proceeded to kick a crumpled Nick in the ribs, stomach and head, hurling vulgar abuse at him while they kicked.

“Faggot!”

More obscenities followed as they continued kicking, strong, quick strikes to where they could hurt him most, and do the most damage, and all the while they screamed, “Love being a faggot? We’ll teach you for being a faggot!”

And Nick continued to be crumpled on the cold ground of the alley, trying desperately to move away, out of their line of attack, but all the life and energy was being beaten out of him, simply because of who he loved. He felt paralysed. And he felt blood trickling down his forehead. A lot of blood. Maybe even too much. And pain. So much pain he felt. Searing through his entire body like lightning. He wanted to be dead. He didn’t want to feel this pain anymore. He wished to be unconscious. He couldn’t stand it anymore. And any movement he made was enough to anger them, to do more damage, to kick him even harder while he was down.

Then suddenly, he was pulled up off the ground and held against the wall, his chest slamming against the brick wall, grazing his chest, and black, fiery eyes staring hatefully right down to his heart. “Enjoying it, faggot?” the same boy hissed. “Want more, faggot?”

Nick parted his lips slowly, and his voice was dry, squeaky, and helplessly soft and weak. “Kevin,” he whispered. “Help me, Kevin...”

The boy laughed, a wheezing, throaty laugh. “Kevin. The other half of the faggot. Good thing he ain’t here, fairy boy, cause we’d fuck that puppy up, too.”

And with that, the boy gripped Nick by the hair and his head connected suddenly, swiftly, with the brick wall and he was let go, only to crumple in an unconscious heap on the ground in the alley. All four boys crudely spat on him and began to run away the moment they heard the screeching, high-pitched sound of a police siren, leaving Nick for the dead.

~***~