Long Lost

 

© Sweet-Kisses

 

~*~

 

Nick stared out the window of Kevin’s car as they drove along the highway. He could feel the warm rays of the sun on his face but the coldness between the two was just as visible. Nick had hardly said a word to Kevin, much to Kevin’s distress. He didn’t care, though. He wanted this whole thing to be a dream that he could wake up from, because he wasn’t exactly happy with the situation before him. It made him sick to think that he lived with Kevin, that there was something more between them than just a good friendship. He stared out the window and sighed. He wanted to disappear.

 

“You know, Nick,” Kevin said quietly, “you can talk to me if you want to. I’m your best friend, that’s what I’m here for.”

 

Heard it before, Nick thought. Not interested.

 

Nick knew the extent of his situation. He was beat up for some reason that nobody knew, not even the police, he was put in hospital and now suffered from a case of amnesia. He couldn’t remember a thing about himself and the cuts and bruises on his body were healing slowly. At least it didn’t hurt him to move anymore. That was a good thing. His friends wouldn’t even help him. Well, they did. But not on that particular day. On that particular day, they all left him to go home with Kevin. Even his parents, who had come to see him, even his brothers and sisters. He had a big family, he knew that much. But why Kevin? Why did he have to go home with him?

 

Only seconds later, the car stopped and Nick looked up. He saw a big white house in front of him, built in southern plantation style. Nick was impressed. He couldn’t help it. Home sweet home. He sighed again and got out of the car slowly after Kevin did and picked up his bags. He followed Kevin inside. Still not many words between the two were shared. The tension could be cut with a knife. Nick looked around himself and was still in awe. High ceilings and a spacious open-plan contrasted a nice color design of white, beige and black. He put his bags down and stood still.

 

What he also saw was a fireplace with a small fire burning and a comfortable black leather couch with a glass coffee table a few feet in front of it. He looked around again and saw some framed photos on another wall. He narrowed his eyes. They were of him and Kevin, in happier times. One looked like a professional photo shoot of the two, and the others appeared to be self portraits of them with their arms around each other and smiling. He also saw some photos of the five of them enlarged and framed from magazine covers like Rolling Stone.

 

Kevin pointed to one of the living room walls. “Look,” he said. “These are the albums that we’ve done and framed. It’s our life, our history.”

 

Nick looked at the three framed plaques on the wall. With each one, they all looked a little different, a little older and mature. Nick nodded. “Okay, so it’s our history. Big deal.”

 

Kevin’s eyes widened. “Big deal? It’s made you a very rich and powerful person. I thought you’d understand that.”

 

“Do I have my own house?” Nick asked quickly. “Did I sell it before I moved in here or not? Where is it?”

 

Kevin didn’t answer for a few moments. He understood what Nick meant by his question. Nick didn’t want to be there with him, and that made Kevin upset. He cleared his throat. “Yes, you do. You didn’t sell it before you moved in here.”

 

“Why not?”

 

“Well...we both thought that it would keep a little independence between us.”

 

“We?! Us?!” Nick shouted. “What the hell?”

 

“Well...you,” Kevin replied softly, with his head lowered. “I guess you thought that then.”

 

“I think I understand now,” Nick snapped. “I think I understand everything.”

 

“Oh?” Kevin asked, arching an eyebrow.

 

“How long were we together for?” Nick inquired, crossing his arms over his chest. “After all, that’s what I’m assuming happened between us.”

 

Kevin nodded slowly, breathing evenly. “Yes, you’re right. We were together for two years.”

 

“How close? We were sleeping together?” Nick demanded, an anger developing in his eyes and voice and his cheeks becoming slightly flushed. But Kevin refused to answer, and this only made him angrier. “Were...we...sleeping together? Were we having sex? Did we engage in sexual relations? Did we get it on? Were we bed buddies? Answer me!”

 

“Yes,” Kevin answered softly, exhaling slowly. “But tell me the harm in that! We were together for two years and we had a very normal and loving relationship. What else do you expect from two people in love with each other?” He paused. “You used to understand that.”

 

Nick narrowed his eyes. “Yeah, well, forgive me for not understanding now because I certainly can’t.” He stared at Kevin with accusation. “I know what happened. You made me that way, didn’t you? You made me like you, like men! Didn’t you?”

 

Kevin was quickly losing his patience. He never thought he see the day when he’d want to hurt Nick, the person that he loved more than anything, but right at that moment he wanted to hurt Nick severely. “I didn’t turn you gay, I didn’t make you that way and you didn’t make me that way. It just happened. Maybe we were both that way and we never realized that. It happens to a lot of people, Nick. Every day it does. Maybe what happened between us was planned for a long time and we never knew. You can’t help who you love, Nick. You’re not supposed to. It doesn’t work that way.”

 

Nick was shaking his head in disbelief. “There’s no way I could’ve liked having sex with another man,” he murmured. “No way in hell.”

 

“Yeah, well, you did,” Kevin snapped, “and more times than any of us can count.”

 

“There has to be a reason why I would do that!” Nick cried. “There has to be!”

 

“Because we were in love, Nick!” Kevin yelled. “You sleep with someone because you love them, and that’s what we did. Big fucking deal!”

 

Nick’s hands were trembling from all the emotions rattling through his body. “You must’ve forced yourself on me, raped me, something. You must have! There’s no way I would’ve done all that with you willingly!”

 

“No?” Kevin asked, an innocent look on his face. “Then think about this. If you think that I must’ve raped you at one stage or another or whatever you think happened, then you must’ve done that to me at one stage or another because it takes two people to form a relationship. And if you had done all that to me, that shows that you wanted it. So deal with it.”

 

“Were you the first man I ever slept with?” Nick questioned. He still refused to believe that any of this had happened. “Did I ever mention any other people?”

 

“You were the first man I ever slept with and I was the first man you ever slept with,” Kevin said. “Anything else?”

 

“What about girls? Did I ever mention girls?”

 

“Well, yes,” Kevin answered reluctantly. “You did talk about girls and...sex. We all did.”

 

“Right,” Nick said, nodding. “So, why did I stop having sex with girls?”

 

Kevin was silent for several moments. He realized the point Nick was tying to make and it only broke his heart more because he knew that deep down, Nick never believed it. Neither of them did. “Well...umm...because...because you...”

 

“Because I was sleeping with you!” Nick finished triumphantly. “Right? I stopped having sex with girls because of you and that, my friend, tells us both that you...made...me...”

 

“What?” Kevin whispered.

 

“A faggot,” Nick said finally in disgust. “And it makes me sick.”

 

It took every ounce of reason and restraint in Kevin’s whole body to stop himself from wanting to kill Nick at that stage. He deserved it. “Before you start hurling slurs at me,” he seethed, “remember this. You made me what you call a faggot, too.  If I made you that way, you made me that way, too. Remember that. And you know what? You make me sick. Get the hell out of here.”

 

“With pleasure,” Nick said, picking up his bags and walking out, slamming the door behind him. He grabbed his cell phone out of his pocket and searched through all the numbers stored and found the one he was after.

 

“A.J., I need your help.”

 

~**~