© Sweet Kisses™

Date: March, 2001
Time: Midnight
Place: Somewhere in the South Pacific
Mood: Finally content with life
Weather: Time speaks for itself


I'm going home. 

Yes, that's right, diary, I'm going home and I'm incredibly excited. We have a break. A much needed break. A break for about, oh, five weeks! And I get to spend every minute of it with Kevin. Actually, everyone's been giving me these strange looks.

I sincerely hope that Howie's kept his big trap shut, at least until we get all this mess sorted out.

Please.

But breaks are good. Because we spend every waking minute with each other, it's good to get away from each other. Except, I don't want to be away from Kevin for one minute. It's funny how all that changes so quickly, with just one kiss everything changes. Yes, it's bizarre. To me, anyway. Kevin and I had another one of our "deep and meaningfuls" (or that's what I like to call them) and kind of "made up". 

We decided on something. We have decided that if things are going the way they are after the break (which it will, I'm confident), then we'll come clean to everyone. Including the wife.

He's started calling me "baby".

Kevin also dropped a bombshell (yeah, nice one). He said that even though Kristin will be in London while we're together, she'll also be around the week before we return to touring. Great. But he said that it wouldn't change anything. He said that he'll still see me every chance he gets (which is probably whenever Kristin decides to leave the homestead) and that he'll still be around and he'll still love me as much.

Which makes it 29 days together.

He said that this time together will really give us a chance for our love to grow. He said (and I quote) "it'll really give us a chance to find out how deep our love is." 

Wonder what he means by that.

But, all in all, I'm now making a pact to make this break damn special.

As for now, much like Rip Van Winkle (who's asleep in his own private thingy), I need sleep and I'll update as soon as I get home.

Bye for now.


Date: March, 2001
Time: 10 A.M.
Place: My bed
Mood: Still happy
Weather: Warm (hey, it's F-L-O-R-I-D-A)


I'm home.

Yes, diary, I'm at home, on my cushy bed, suffering from jet-lag, but I'm here. Told you I'd update. Do I ever make promises I can't keep? No. So, I'm home and I'm eagerly waiting for Kevin to call me. See, we have this "mission impossible" thing going on. Oh, it's silly, but we can't have everyone finding out. Yet.

When I left the airport, Howie gave me another strange look. God, if you're there and watching over me, let him let me live these days in happiness.

Please.

Okay, so I didn't go straight to his house with him, like I would've hoped to. But there are certain things I have to do first. You know, unpack, greet my animals, pack again...

Hang on, interruptions. Of the phone variety.

I'm back. It was Kevin. He asked me what I was doing. I said I was daydreaming about sleeping with him. He laughed (that deep and husky laugh) and said I was cute. Anyway, he said he's been waiting for me. He said whenever's good for me, he'll be waiting. 

The break with him is going to be so good. I'll be able to do everything with him (well...). I'm going to love this, really I am.

But rest assured, I'll be taking you with me, diary, and I'll tell you everything. Honest. So, here we go.

The "Nick and Kevin Vacation" begins.



Date: March, 2001
Time: Night
Place: Kevin's house
Mood: Deliriously happy
Weather: Stars, moon, sky...


Kevin's house.

Beautiful.

He's got this huge grand staircase that leads up to the second floor, and he's decorated everything into an interior designer's ultimate fantasy. Perfection doesn't even describe it adequately enough. He's decked everything out in black and white. Black furniture, white carpeting. What a killer. And he's got this great jacuzzi out on the deck that overlooks the ocean. I can certainly see us putting that to great use!

Actually, there's a lot of reminders of Kristin and him in this house. There's pictures of the two of them all over the place, and I got a little upset at seeing a picture of her in the bedroom on the nightstand. Kevin said he'd replace it with a picture of me for the time being if it made me feel better. I told him not to worry, but really it hurts, deep down inside.

Oh, well. Deal.

Did I mention that he has a huge bed and a fetish for black silk sheets? I think he's trying to seduce me.

I love this place, and I never want to leave.

We had a very sexy (I guess) moment tonight.

Get this.

We were eating ice-cream. Well, feeding each other ice-cream is more like it. I scooped a little chocolate onto my spoon and held it out for him to try. He devoured it slowly, his eyes locking with mine. He stared at me for a few moments (tension was involved - of the sexual variety!) and leaned forward to kiss a tiny dribble of chocolate away from the corner of my mouth. Of course, we ended up in each other's arms, kissing each other very, very loving, the ice-cream long forgotten.

It's so good to be able to just let myself go.



Date: March, 2001
Time: Midday
Place: Poolside!
Mood: Happy
Weather: Sunny


God, he's mean.

Let me explain that.

I was woken up this morning by someone playing with my hair and singing to me in a deep, baritone voice. Kevin, obviously.

As soon as I opened my eyes, he engulfed me in this 'God-I-love-you-and-I-want-you-so-bad' kiss. I reacted quickly, of course. I guess we've never really had the chance to act so spontaneously and I'm his willing victim. Anyway, the kiss went on forever, my fingers tangled in his hair, and somehow, we ended up in the shower (???). He pulled me in, with him against the glass, and kissed me very aggressively, with the hot water beating down on us.

There was a lot of kissing, touching, exploring (and all that) involved in all of this. I just felt so complete by him, and I never wanted this to end. A fire was beginning to burn inside of me and I just got lost within the kiss and him and love and...everything. I thought that this was it, that we were finally going to pledge our love to each other (cliche, huh?).

But, no. Again, no. And that's why he's mean, because he has no idea how much I want him and need him and how much he's teasing me.

And to make it all worse...

I've discovered that he likes to sleep totally stark naked, totally in the buff. God, that's really teasing me! It kills me to know that, underneath the silk sheets, it's nothin' but him. God, breathe. Breathe, man!

And when he decides to relieve the tension from me, he just prances around in his boxer shorts without a care in the damn world! I'm like, HEY! Maybe I should do that to him.

Okay, he's stepping out of the pool now, and his hair's wet. Very wet. He just ran his fingers through it.

And now he's smiling at me, wondering what I'm writing.

As if I'd tell him.


Date: March, 2001
Time: Afternoon
Place: Still at Kevin's
Mood: Strange
Weather: Cloudy.


Brian just called. He's wondering where I am. He asked Kevin if maybe he knew where I was. He knows. DING DING DING DING! Wake up and smell the thorns, retard! He fucking knows! He knows that, as a rule, Kevin and I don't usually spend time alone together when we're on a break, just usually as a group.

Oh, God, he knows.

Shit.

Help?

Kevin looked pale when he was talking to Brian, trying to make a million and one excuses as to why I wasn't around. I wanted to cry, and I think Kevin saw the expression on my face, too. He came over to me and took me in his arms and whispered some sweet words. He said there was a lot more at stake for him if everyone found out, and he wasn't worried.

"This is what you want, baby, what we both want, so don't cry. Please." He finished this with a series of small kisses and soft words to make me feel better. It worked.
 

Still I'm worried. When they eventually do find out, will they still see me as the same Nick? Or will they simply see me as 'Nickolas the Marriage Ruiner'?

Still worried, still confused.


Date: March, 2001
Time: Early
Place: Living room
Mood: Better
Weather: Sunny


TIME TO PARTY!

Got your attention, huh? Yeah, I bet it did! Sorry for getting your hopes up, I'm just feeling a little better now, most likely from the events that are going to occur later today (and sadly, it's not what we're both thinking).

THEME PARK time! 

I have to say that this is the happiest I've ever been in my whole entire life. I've never felt like this, this happy. It's so strange, and yet it's natural. All I ever want is to be by his side, so I'll never miss a moment without him.

Silly sentimental sap.

As for now, I have to wake up Mr Winkle, so I'll update as soon as I get in. And do I ever make a promise I don't intend to keep? No! Bye for now.

Miss me!

1:42 A.M. ----- I just got in the door, like, a second ago and here I am, writing to you. Told you I'd update! A lot of things happened tonight (or, last night). But I can safely say that I've had the best night of my entire life. Let me explain.

It started off with him holding my hand.

When his fingers entwined with mine, he turned his head and gave this little smile and I loved him for it. We've never been out as an official "couple" so for him to do this was just bliss. Our prime target was the ferris wheel. And there we were, going higher and higher into the sky, like we could almost touch the stars. The city was like millions of twinkling stars ensconced in a black velvet blanket. It was awesome. As we came down, Kevin placed his arm around my shoulders and I snuggled into his side.

While making our descent, he turned to me and said "I love you" and kissed me very, very softly.

But it didn't end there. We found this little coffee place nearby with great atmosphere and Kevin said he knew it pretty well, so we gave it a whirl. And we just sat there, at the back, talking over coffee like any other normal couple in love. I felt so happy, so normal.

It was then, as I stared at him talking to me softly with the lights shining down on his hair and the content gleam in his eyes, that I am in love.

Truly, madly, deeply.

~**~