Vertigo

©Sweet-Kisses™

~*~

A year had nearly passed when Kevin, all by himself, sat himself down on steps of his porch at the front of his country-style cottage. His surroundings were quiet and he was alone. He never imagined that he would be alone at this point in his life. He had always wanted to retire in the country with his wife and family. It was what he intended and he had followed through.

But followed alone. If that were possible.

He had come to understand that he had made choices and his choices bought along consequences. He didn't blame anyone but himself. How could he? He had taken responsibility for the fact that he had, in essence, seduced a teenager and got her pregnant while he was married. He took full responsibility for that, and he blamed no other. Not even Lyra.

He thought about her often. Well, every day. He wondered where she saw. The day she confronted him with her brother, the day Kevin was told to leave, was the day that Lyra had disappeared with her brother. No one knew of where they went. Kevin seemed to think that London was the first place to start. Family nor friends had heard from them in months. He then realised that it was a useless fight to find her. He realised that maybe it was just better, from some reason, that way.

So Kevin had retreated to a small cottage in the country in an undisclosed location. Somewhere in his native homeland. It was difficult adjusting to the quiet of the place and also the relaxation that the country provided him with when all that he was used to was moving around and living out of a suitcase.

Soon after, Kevin had received divorce papers. Kristin had already signed them. He had tried to contact her and her family, but to no avail. He was disgraced, and Kevin understood their reaction. He knew he'd probably do the same thing. So he signed them, and soon adapted to having the title over his head of a  divorced celebrity who got his mistress pregnant. Though it was a common tale all around him in his life as a celebrity, he never knew he'd be the one to join the ranks.

The Boys had continued on with the release of the album and the new tour. Kevin had received what he was promised, a fifth in the selling. The album had proved to be the best yet for them, breaking selling records in the opening week across the globe. Kevin had read reviews of the album. He enjoyed reading them, for they were almost all laudatory. Kevin was happy for them, but he understood the power of his departure on the selling of the album and indeed the tour. There was a lot of media scrutinisation and also a lot of false-reports on why Kevin had left.

The Boys responded with what became their anthem: "He decided to move on. We miss him terribly, but at the end of the day, we support him in his future endeavours. We're family, after all."

Kevin knew the truth, only one of a small group who really did know the truth. He had actually gone to one of the shows. None of the Boys knew he was there and he tried to keep a low profile. No one recognised him. The Boys performed without a hitch to a packed arena, thousands of adoring female fans, and also threw out a convincing statement to their fans: "one of us has left. You know that. We miss him and we hope he's found what he's looking for. But we support him in whatever he does and we hope you will too. And remember: there will always be the Backstreet Boys."

That sent Kevin out of the arena, near-tears. It sounded so sincere.

Kevin  had glanced at paparazzi photos of them throughout the year and felt an odd sensation about the Backstreet Boys being only four. He knew there was something missing but he knew he'd never return.

He had tried to contact the Boys. So far the only one who'd even say a few words to him was Brian and Kevin was convinced it was for two reasons. Because they were family, and because he needed some sort of salvation. His relationship with his immediate family was strained, at best. He knew that he'd lost respect from them, if in fact they did at all and his image as some sort of decent, moral man was tarnished.

Well. Smashed.

But somewhere out there, was Lyra. Paying an awful price for his mistakes. She didn't deserve to deal with that. If only she had told him first, instead of Andrew...the situation might've been different...

Kevin sighed. Just as he looked up, something that was moving caught his attention. It was a cab and it was driving away. Walking toward him was a tall girl with short dark hair, wearing simple dark clothes and an equally dark large bag thrown over her shoulder.

She was carrying a baby girl in her arms.

"Hi, Kevin."

~**~

"So you just decided to show up?" Kevin asked, incredulous. "How the hell did you find me?"

Lyra was different. Kevin could see that she was a different girl. Woman. Mother, now too. She was more mature, more relaxed. Kevin realized that he liked the change he saw.

Andrew hadn't gone through with his threats, but he had kept Lyra locked up tightly. When the baby had been born and Lyra was discharged from the hospital, she just walked out. And away from Andrew. Andrew never even bothered to find her. One of the things Andrew had also done was cut off her hair. He had thought, in his crazy mind, that the least attractive Lyra was, the better.

Kevin looked toward the baby asleep in Lyra's arms. "I'm guessing Andrew didn't go through what he said. But. Lyra, it's been nearly a year and you didn't try and contact me and now you just show up?"

"Kevin, I tried," she explained softly. "I had no idea where to begin. I couldn't leave where I was in the state I was in. I was sick. I only found out where you were just before I gave birth to Kyra."

"Kyra?" Kevin said, a small smile appearing on his face. "Pretty name."

"Well, most of it is from my name but I changed the first letter to include you." Lyra glanced up at Kevin, who was leaning over in his seat to stare at his child. "I missed you. I thought about you. Every day."

Kevin suddenly looked away, his expression pained. "I missed you. I thought of you and what was happening to you. Why didn't you talk to me that day before you went to Andrew?"

"As stupid as it sounds now, I thought you would hurt me," Lyra replied softly, her gaze steadfast into Kevin's eyes. "I didn't know where else to go. I know now that things might've turned out differently if I had."

Kevin nodded and sat back in his chair. Yeah, it would've been and he knew he didn't need to say so. "Lyra, I told you so many times. I would never have hurt you. Never."

"But you did, when you were angry," Lyra reminded him. "I didn't want to be in that situation again."

Kevin moved his eyes on his sleeping child again. He couldn't help but smile, and his heart filled with unexpected love and adoration. "She's such an angel. She's perfect."

Lyra smiled. "She has your eyes, you know."

"Why did you come here?" Kevin asked bluntly.

Lyra took a small breath and nodded. "I knew that was coming." She paused. "I want you to take care of Kyra."

Kevin nearly laughed. "Let me get this straight. I know it was my fault, with what happened between us. But you become pregnant, you don't even have the guts to tell me, you disappear, then you show up nearly a year later and just expect me to fall all over myself to accommodate you? What in the hell, Lyra? Do you not respect me at all? I lost everything for you!"

Lyra had tears in her eyes. "I know," she whispered, her expression impassive. "The reason why is that I know you can provide better for her than I can. Let's face it, Kevin. We're not meant to be together. If anyone should raise her, its you. You can give her things that I can't. I have nothing to offer her, Kevin. Nothing. I need to get myself together before I can be the kind of mother that she needs."

Kevin ran his fingers through his hair. "No. No way. I can't even believe that you would ask me to do this. I'm not doing this alone."

Lyra's patience was wearing thin. "Kevin, I'm trying to do the right thing here. I would've found you sooner if I'd known where you were! That was out of my control. I just want her to know you, to be provided for in the best way. Only you can do that. I can't."

"Lyra." Kevin shook his head. "I'm going to be honest here. Remember the night before you left? I wanted to say so many things to you, most of which are irrelevant now. But I've been wanting to know for a long time. How do you really feel about me?"

"Since you're being honest." Lyra gazed around the room, avoiding eye contact. "The girl you thought I was? The one that drank, smoked, seduced you, whatever? I'm not sure that if that was ever me. I mean, yes. It was me, but I was acting completely different than what I am now. From the first moment I saw you, I wanted you. You were difficult, that's for sure! And when I wouldn't kiss you, I thought I could do that. But you have to know something. You made me feel incredibly beautiful and special. Protected. Important. No one's ever done that for me before."

Kevin sat there still, his eyes wide. "You should've told me this a long time ago."

"I know. And that last day? That was me trying to tell you the situation I was in. How much I needed you. I loved being with you, Kevin. It's that simple."

"I guess," Kevin mused quietly, "that it was bound to happen. We were bound to feel some sort of connection, I suppose. But you have to know that the reason I was with you was not to fill a void from Kristin. I mean, in the beginning it was. But after a while, it was different. I'm not sure if you knew how much of a hold you really had over me."

Lyra laughed quietly. "I think I did."  She paused and her expression was serious. "I'm really trying to do the right thing here."

Kevin's face suddenly bore realisation. "You want to do the right thing?"

"Yes, I really do."

"So stay here. With me."

~***~