Three Englishmen were in a bar, spotted an Irishman and decided to have
a little fun. The first Englishmen walked up to him, tapped him on the
shoulder, and said:
"Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a girly-man."
The Irishman gave no reaction then simply replied: "Oh really,
hmm, didn't know that."
Puzzled, the Englishman walked back to his chums and said:
"I told him St. Patrick was a girly-man, and he didn't care."
The second Englishman remarked:
"You just don't know how to set him off...look and learn."
So, he walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said:
"Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a transvestite!"
The Irishman calmly regarded him and replied: "Oh really, hmm, didn't
know that."
Shocked beyond belief, the Englishman went back to his drinking pals and
said:
"You're right - he's unshakable!"
The third Englishman remarked:
"Boys, I'll really tick him off - just watch."
So he walked over to the Irishman, tapped him on the shoulder and said:
"I hear St. Patrick was an Englishman!"
The Irishman regarded his latest visitor for a moment then said:
"Yeah, that's what your buddies were trying to tell me."
You've been drinking again
An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally
said that the bar was closing. So, the Irishman stood up to leave and fell flat
on his face. He tried to stand one more time; same result. He figured he'll
crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up. Once
outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the
four blocks home. Again, he fell flat on his face, but eventually managed to
reach his front step. He crawled through the door and into his bedroom. When he
reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up.
This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right
into the bed and is sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He
was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO
YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!"
Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?"
"The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."
"The Reunion"
A man stumbles up to the only other patron in a bar and asks if he could
buy him a drink. "Why, of course," comes the reply. The first man then asks,
"Where are you from?"
"I'm from Ireland," replies the second man.
The first man responds: "You don't say, I'm from Ireland too! Let's have a
round to Ireland."
"Of course," says the second.
Curious, the first asks: "Where in Ireland?"
"Dublin," comes the reply.
"I can't believe it, Me too! Let's have another round of drinks to Dublin."
Of course the second man can't help himself so he asks,
"What school did you attend?"
"Saint Mary's," replies the first man. "I graduated in '62."
"This is becoming unbelievable!!!" they say in union.
About that time, in comes one of the regulars and sits down at the bar.
"What's up?" he asks the bartender.
"Nothing much," replied the bartender. "The O'Malley twins are drunk again!"