SCHOOL JOKES
HOW CHILDREN DRIVE THEIR TEACHERS CRAZY
Laugh and the class laughs with you.
But you
get detention alone
!!
Mother: What did you learn in school today
Son:
How to write
Mother: What did you write?
Son:
I don't know, they haven't taught us how to read yet!
Student: The brain is a
wonder full thing
Teacher:
Why do you say that?
Student: Because it starts
working the second you get up in the morning and never stops until
you get asked a question in class!
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight
home
Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
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TEACHER :
What is an island
? Pupil : A piece of land surrounded by water except on one side. TEACHER :On one side ? Pupil : Yes, on top ! |
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TEACHER :Give me three
reasons why the world is round Pupil : Well my dad says so, my mum says so and you say so ! |
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TEACHER : What shape is the world in? Pupil : Rotten ! |
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TEACHER
: Why
does you geography exam have a big zero over it. Pupil : It's not a zero, the teacher ran out of stars, so she gave me a moon instead ! |
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TEACHER
:What's you name ? Class : Ravi TEACHER : You should say "Sir" Pupil : OK, Sir Ravi ! |
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TEACHER : I want you
to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil : Life imprisonment ! |
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TEACHER : Name four
members of the cat family Pupil : Daddy cat, mummy cat and two kittens ! |
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TEACHER : What is further
away, Australia or the Moon ? Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night ! |
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TEACHER : Ravi, can you
find me Australia on the map please ? Pupil :There it is TEACHER : Now, Ravi, who discovered Australia ? Pupil : I did ! |
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Pupil : I wished we lived in the olden days TEACHER : Why is that ? |
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TEACHER :What kind of
birds do you find in captivity? Pupil : Jailbirds ! |
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TEACHER : What is the
plural of mouse ? Pupil :Mice TEACHER : Good, now what's the plural of baby ? Pupil : Twins ! |
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TEACHER : What's the
longest word in the English language ? Pupil : Smiles - because there is a mile between the first and last letters ! |
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TEACHER :: I despair, Ravi, how do you
manage to get so many things wrong in a day ? Pupil : Because I always get here early sir ! |
TEACHER :
What do we do with crude oil ?
Pupil : Teach it some manners !
Why did the knight run
about shouting for a tin opener?
He had a bee in his suit of armour
!
Why were the early
days of history called the dark ages?
Because there were so many
knights!
When a teacher closes his
eyes, why should it remind him of an empty classroom?
Because there are
no pupils to see!
If there are ten cats
in a boat and one jumps out, how many are left?
None, they were all
copycats!
Why does history keep
repeating itself?
Because we weren't listening the first
time!
Teacher: Are you good at
math?
Pupil: Yes and no
Teacher: What do you mean?
Pupil: Yes, I'm no good at math!
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