Dear Goddess, Astrological Signs

ARIES: Dear Goddess, please give me patience...and could you do it right now?

TAURUS: Dear Goddess, help me accept change, but not too quick.

GEMINI: Dear Goddess! Who is Goddess? Where is Goddess? Why is Goddess?

CANCER: DEAR GODDESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LEO: Yes?

VIRGO: Dear Goddess, please make us perfect and don't mess it up like You did the last time!

LIBRA: Dear Goddess, please help me to be decisive, but on the other hand, what do You think is best?

> SCORPIO: Our Mother, an' it harm none, even though the bastards deserve it!

SAGITTARIUS: Dear Goddess, if I've told you once, I've told you a million times....help me stop exaggerating.

CAPRICORN: Dear Goddess! I'd like to ask you to help me, but I learned a long time ago not to rely on anyone else!

AQUARIUS: Dear Goddess, I know I like change, but this chaos is ridiculous!!

PISCES: Dear Goddess, as long as I'm going to drink this fifth of Scotch tonight, please use the stimulation in Your honor.