Top 20 Reasons Why Dogs Don't Use Computers

20. Can't stick their heads out of windows 98.
19. Fetch command not available on all platforms.
18. Hard to read the monitor with your head cocked to one side.
17. Too difficult to 'mark' every website they visit.
16. Can't help attacking the screen when they hear "You've Got Mail."
15. Fire hydrant icon simply frustrating.
14. Involuntary tail wagging is a dead giveaway they're browsing www.pethouse.com instead of working
13. Keep bruising noses trying to catch that MPEG frisbee
12. Not at all fooled by Chuckwagon Screen Saver
11. Still trying to come up with an 'emoticon' that signifies tail-wagging.
10. Oh, but they WILL...with the introduction of the Microsoft Opposable Thumb.
9. Three words: Carpal Paw Syndrome
8. 'Cause dogs ain't GEEKS!  Now, cats, on the other hand...
7. Barking in next cube keeps activating YOUR voice recognition softward.
6. SmellU-SmellMe still in beta test.
5. SIT and STAY were hard enough, CUT and PASTE are out of the question.
4. Saliva-coated mouse gets mighty difficult to maneuver.
3. Annoyed by lack of newsgroup, alt.pictures.master's.leg.
2. Butt-sniffing more direct and less deceiving than online chat rooms.

and the Number 1 Reason Dogs Dogs Don't Use Computers...

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