Inu Jokes
(originally blond jokes, but hey, they match Inuyasha more)
A inu goes into work one morning crying his eyes out. His boss, concerned about all her employees' well being, asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" To which the inu replies... "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away." The boss, feeling very sorry at this point, explains to the young inu. "Why don't you go home for the day... we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest." The inu very calmly states... "No, I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the inu to work as usual..." if you need anything, just let me know." Well, a few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the inu. She looks out over her office and sees the inu hysterically crying!! She rushes out to him, asking, "What's so bad now... are you gonna be ok??" "No..." exclaims the inu. "I just got a call from my sister. She told me that her mom died too!!"
The Inu Farmer
A inu bought two horses, and could never remember which was which. A neighbor suggested that he cut the tail of one horse and that worked great until the other horse got his tail caught in a bush. It tore just right and looked exactly like the other horse's tail and our friend was stuck again. The neighbor suggested he notch the ear off one horse. That worked fine until the other horse caught his ear on a barbed wire fence. Once again our friend couldn't tell them apart. The neighbor suggested he measure the horses for height. When he did, he was very pleased to find that the white horse was 2 inches taller than the black horse.
The Coke Machine
A inu is over at this Coke machine putting fifty cents in, taking the coke, putting it in his pockets, throwing the quarters in, taking the coke, putting it in his pockets, throwing the quarters in, taking the Coke, putting it in his pockets. After a while, he has a Coke in every pocket. He keeps going, stacking the Cokes around him on the floor. Finally, the lady behind him, getting mad, asks him, "What are you doing?!" He responds, "Duh, I'm winning."
Inu Kidnapper
A inu was down on his luck. In order to raise some money, he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." He then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Inu." The inu then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning, the inu checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. The inu opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Inu?"
The Porch
A inu, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire himself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. He went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for him to do. "Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?" The inu said "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that he might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does he realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "He should. He was standing on the porch." A short time later, the inu came to the door to collect his money. "You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the inu answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the inu added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."
51 Days
A bartender is sitting behind the bar on a typical day, when the door bursts open and in come four exuberant inus. They come up to the bar, order five bottles of champagne and ten glasses, take their order over and sit down at a large table. The corks are popped, the glasses are filled and they begin toasting and changing, "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Soon, three more inus arrive, take up their drinks and the chanting grows. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Two more inus show up and soon their voices are joined in raising the roof. "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" Finally, the tenth inu comes in with a picture under his arm. He walks over to the table, sets the picture in the middle and the table erupts. Up jumps the others, they begin dancing around the table, exchanging high-fives, all the while chanting "51 days, 51 days, 51 days!" The bartnder can't contain his curiosity any longer, so he walks over to the table. There in the center is a beautifully framed child's puzzle of the Cookie Monster. When the frenzy dies down a little bit, the bartender asks one of the inus, "What's all the chanting and celebration about?" The Inu who brought in the picture pipes in, "Everyone thinks that inus are dumb and they make fun of us. So, we decided to set the record straight. Ten of us got together, bought that puzzle and put it together...the side of the box said 2-4 years, but we put it together in 51 days!"