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my acting classmy acting class annoyed me from the start filled as it was with other comics a couple of waitresses a housewife and joey -- fucken joey -- the agentcomic hybrid who handed out work to those slightly more deserving than he in exchange for the same which annoys me even now joanna our fearless leader never took to me told me i was lazy i did not respect my talent maybe just her way of making sure she'd get my 20 bucks a week a few more months okay so i am lazy... at least i took it seriously unlike some of the other jokers who were making easy money and whose agents knew so well that all of the network people would be coming around the clubs offering development deals to anyone who looked as if they might turn out to be the next roseanne i know this is petty but i swear joanna picked on everyone who did not live in the city and yet i drove in every tuesday with my friends john and john the one now waiting for a kidney to replace the one his father gave him and the other now living in amsterdam with the money he made appearing at colleges and in a soap commercial one day after amsterdam john had left for LA one kidney john turned to me as we pulled into the parking lot and said to me with wisdom i still can hear it was so simple: sometimes you just have to leave well we laughed all the way through the tunnel we got out of there so fast we were home by what would have been the break and as he dropped me off john looked at me and said if we'd have gone to class right now one of us would have been sucking up to joey the other flirting with julie waiting for the chance to suck up to joey and that is no way to live your life and he was right again sucking up to fucken joey agentcomic neither agent nor comic laughing at a bad joke is no way to live your life * * * so about two weeks ago i'm helping one kidney john move into a new apartment and we talk about our letters from amsterdam john who says he's finally living in the moment which we never did in acting class and i told him how those words of his had stayed with me sometimes you just have to leave john said he knew i'd already made up my mind to quit and asked me when i knew and having no answer i said it was probably not until then but later i read something on the internet and the answer came to me two weeks before we bolted joanna demonstrated the mirror exercise with jerry finally the teacher's pet at the age of 36 and i wondered whom she'd pair me with it would have been fun looking into the insane mirror of jerry's eyes or julie who everyone wanted to fuck even though she never had a pleasant thought or the housewife from darien who bad or good would never do the same thing twice but i figured i'd get john joanna paired us often because we were both lazy and from long island or maybe because she was lazy and from ohio and when it was time to pair she matched the others up until only john and i were left which pissed me off too because it was like we did not matter and then fucken joey walked in late and she looked at him and said joey you work with dave john can work with me which must have been when i knew so i called up john and told him it must have been when she said i mirrored joey and john told me that during the exercise joanna kept walking away and we both laughed you see john and i have always known that looking in a mirror and seeing nothing is still better than fucken joey | Index | Comedy | Poetry | Racing | Stuff | Sylvia | Links | d-mail | ©1996-2000 |
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