Real Headlines
( English is a marvelously flexible language, much to the chagrin of headline writers everywhere.)
Ban on Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
Arson Suspect is Held in Massachusetts Fire
Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
Deer Kill 17,000
Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
'84 War Dims Hope for Peace
Drunken Drivers Paid $1000
Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
Checkout Counter Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
Stolen Painting Found by Tree
Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
Miners Refuse to Work after Death
Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax
Deaf mute gets new hearing in killing
Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
Eye Drops Off Shelf
Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
Stud Tires Out
Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
Farmer Bill Dies in House
Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers