You pull under the lovely green lights of the Keystone Diner. You go inside and the Dolly-Parton-Wanna-Be-Midget seats you. After consuming about five cups of coffee, an ignorant looking redneck approaches you and takes a seat at you table.

You:

Follow Jesslutta and Snottie's lead and pretend to be tripping

Make an ass out of him until he begins to pester you regarding your blue hair

Jump up on the table and swing from the curtains