Culture Of Rape?

Waiter: Would you like some coffee?
Woman: Yes, please.
Waiter: Just say when. (Starts to pour.)
Woman: There. (He keeps pouring.) That’s fine. (He pours.) Stop! (She grabs the pot; there is coffee everywhere.) What are you doing? I said stop!
Waiter: Yes, ma’am.
Woman: Well, why didn’t you stop pouring?
Waiter: Oh, I wasn’t sure you meant it.
Woman: Look, of course I meant it! I have coffee all over my lap!You nearly burned me!
Waiter: Forgive me ma’am, but you certainly looked thirsty. I thought you wanted more.
Woman: But...
Waiter: And you must admit, you did let me start to pour.
Woman: Well, of course I did. I wanted some coffee.
Waiter: See, there you go. A perfectly honest mistake.

What is rape culture? Rape culture is the sociological phenomena that men and women are influenced by since the day they are born. Rape culture is the force that dictates what is truly “male” and what is “female”. Rape culture is the reality in our society that all too often women are being subordinated, objectified, violated and ignored by the men and women who, often unconsciously, allow the culture of rape to persist. It is the common custom that in order for a man to feel like “a real man” he must “score”, “get some” or “screw around with” as many women as possible. “Real men”, as rape culture dictates, do not care for the rights or the consent of women. Rape culture is not easily explained, it is the result of many factors, all a part of our patriarchal society. This is not a theory. This is a not a speculation. These are people’s lives being filled with a feeling of misery and sickening duty to the rape culture. We are all guilty at some point in our lives of perpetuating the myths and customs that make rape culture one of the most widespread (and ignored) negative social phenomena. Before we proceed, allow us to define “rape”. We use the word “rape” to describe any type of sexual contact that is unwanted and/or forced upon an individual. While we are concentrating on the rape of women by men, we do not deny that fact that some rapes occur by the hands of women, and by men on men. What we hope to do is examine the sources of where most rapes originate from culturally. This this in mind, let us examine the patriarchal culture of rape.

As we examine rape culture we first must examine what it implies and what myths it perpetuates. One of the most brutally partisan things rape culture does to men and women is divide us by means of gender stereotypes. Generally speaking, gender stereotypes imply that certain characteristics are “female” and others are “male”. Leadership, dominance, strength, courage, force and pride are all qualities that men are taught to value and seek in themselves. Acceptance by any means, innocence, subordination, weakness, and dependency are traits that women are taught to emulate. What is most important to the perpetuation of rape culture is the perpetuation of male and female sexual stereotypes. The belief that sexual promiscuity in men is to be applauded, rewarded and even expected, while women who have sexual relations are often regarded in the common eye as “easy”, “slutty”, and of loose morality. Women who have multiple sexual partners are often marginalized and mocked, while men who have a similar amount of partners are merely exemplifying the common “boys will be boys” belief.

What this translates into is a culture in which men are brought up in an environment in which they feel that in order be accepted, they must have sexual relations with as many women as possible. Women are taught to be submissive to men, but at the same time that if they do engage in extensive sexual relations they will be labelled as “sluts”. As a result, all too often women find themselves caught in a trap of seeking acceptance in the lust of uncaring men, which causes them to feel like “sluts”, which causes them, again, to seek acceptance by satisfying the lust of men; it’s a cycle. Men, with this societal obligation to have sex with “culturally acceptable” women by any means necessary, often end up doing what they consider “having sex”, but in reality is rape.

As Chris O’ Sullivan states in her essay Fraternities and the Rape Culture:
"Attachment to a woman can threaten the image of independence and produce accusations that a man is “dominated” or “pussy whipped” by his mother, girlfriend, or wife. A man’s need to “score” and to push women into sexual acts that earn masculinity credits objectifies women. “Scoring” is enhanced by getting women to perform sex acts the the men consider demeaning. Thus, Fellatio earns more points than intercourse, and anal intercourse more than vaginal intercourse. Of course, a woman who would do such things is not worthy of respect and must not be treated as a serious person or real girlfriend."

The most appalling reality of the perpetuation of gender stereotypes and rape culture that too often even the victim does not even deny the sexual contact as rape. As sickening as it is, we have been conditioned to accept and act out rape culture and gender stereotypes without even acknowledging their existence. As Chris O’ Sullivan states, "Male friendships involve elements of competition and camaraderie. Sex as a competitive arena necessarily results in exploiting girls and women, because the motive is to ‘score’, to impress one’s male friends rather than to relate to the female."

Aside from dictating sexuality, our popular culture also has a hand in dictating our social life and social interactions. One custom that has evolved over the generations of the past is the cultural endorsement of chemical intoxication as a form of recreation. Undoubtedly, “recreational” alcohol and drug (ab)use has aided rape culture and rapists. Intoxicated women are much easier to coerce and to dominate. If the woman should be so intoxicated that they are unconscious, the rape is even easier. In their pursuit of a “score”, in order to impress their friends and in order to serve their duty as “real men” many of the rapes committed in this culture occur with alcohol used as a means for that rape. Statistics say that for girls aged 13-25 approximately 80% have undergone some form of sexual assault while under the influence of alcohol! Alcohol is a means of silencing the voice of reason, and it inhibits the victim from expressing consent in an altered-state. Alcohol is no different, by means of coercion, than a knife or a gun. Intoxication is a weapon, a tool, that is often employed by rapists to ensure the right circumstances for such a rape to exist. In other cases, where the victim has gotten intoxicated out of her own free will, the intoxication can still be wielded as a tool, as a weapon, by the rapist. He can take advantage of the state of intoxication and use it as the means to his end. Again, the sick reality of our rape culture is that we must realize how often sexual activity in an intoxicated state are actually cases of rape; rape with a weapon; be it alcohol or any other intoxicating substance.

Pornography is another element of the culture of rape we as a society allow to fester without any great degree of resistance. Pornography acts a propaganda film for males, from an early age. It teachs the “how” and “why” of sexism. How? By using any means necessary, by using insecurity, guilt, physical force, weapons, alcohol to wear down resistance from his “conquest; anything that will make it possible for the male to qualify as a “real man”. Why? Because women are the subordinates of men. If you can “get some”, then get some; by any means.

As John Stoltenberg reports in his seminal male feminist novel Refusing To Be A Man:
"Controlled experiments were conducted with groups of 'normal' college-age men, screened to eliminate 'rape-prone' and 'high-hostile types. The experiments showed that in these average good joes, exposure to certain types of pornography produced significant effects such as increased levels of aggression and hostility, increased callousness toward women, and increased self-reported likelihood to rape if they thought they would not get caught."

As we can see the psychological effects of pornography on males, can we now begin to understand its role in perpetuating rape culture. As Gloria Steinem says in her essay Erotica Vs. Pornography, "In short, pornography is not about sex. It’s about an imbalance of power that allows and even requires sex to be used as a form of aggression." Steinem goes on to say that, "In fact, pornography in some form will continue as long as boys are raised to believe they must control and conquer women as proof of ‘masculinity’, and as long as society rewards men who believe that success or even functioning - in sex as in other areas of life - depend on women’s subservience."

Other cultural influences, no lesser than the others mentioned before, help make up the plethora of influences that comprise rape culture. The presence of homophobia in society is largely credited to it’s integral role in preserving traditional male sexual identity. In essence, what this this means is that in order to feel like a man, men must ignore and suppress all “effeminate” traits. Since effeminate characteristics are associated with male homosexually in our heterosexist culture, homophobia is a logical part of male sexual identity. Thus, in order to prove that one is not a “faggot” or a “queer” he must flaunt his heterosexual conquests. “Real men” must make it clear that they are heterosexual, and have heterosexual relations with a wide variety of women often. Much to the dismay of their partners, “real men” will often share their sexual lives with their male counterparts, and often inject elements of fiction to liven up their boring, rigid and conformist sex lives. This is an attempt to assert one’s heterosexuality, and to gain respect from his peers. Homophobia as a part of rape culture also has victims other than women. Naturally, homosexuals are the target of much homophobic hatred. Whether it be physical attacks on gays and lesbians or mere verbal attacks or jokes, homophobia victimizes homosexuals, and feeds the male sexual ego. Andrea Dworkin substantiates this in her essay entitled I Want a Twenty-Four-Hour Truce During Which There Is No Rape; "Ending homophobia is worth doing. But you can’t do it in a world with rape." This statements shows that homophobia and rape culture are interconnected. This connection lies in the fact that homophobia is part of the assertion of male sexual identity. In order to destroy homophobia, male (and female) sexual identity and rape culture itself must be realized as obstacles.

In addition to homophobia, age-old patriarchal values, now fostered by the Right wing factions of society, are a driving force behind the subordination of women and the perpetuation of rape culture. These age-old patriarchal values are largely, if not exclusively, fostered by organized religions, specifically the Bible. According to Jim Hill and Rand Cheadle in their objective analysis of the history of Biblical manipulation, The Bible Tells Me So, "In the very literal reading of the Bible, women must live by the guidelines presented to “man” or “mankind”, as well as a number of additional rules and regulations specifically for and about them." How one interprets the Bible as a whole is at the discretion of the interpreter. What I wish to present are those passages in the Bible that have been used by the patriarchy to give the subordination of women “God’s stamp of approval”:

“Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and they desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee” -Genesis 3:16

“But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence. For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety. - I Timothy 2:12-15

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God. - I Corinthians 11:3

“Wives, submit yourself unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything.” - Ephesians 5:22-24

I wish, by no means, to imply that every rapist founds his (un)conscious belief in the subordination of women in Biblical passages. What I do wish to prove is that Biblical manipulation is one of the founding factors in the creation of the patriarchal views towards women and, in turn, the creation of rape culture. The past uses of these Biblical passages are largely responsible for the irrational attitudes towards women fostered by the patriarchy. This patriarchal society in which we live is a product of those Biblically-based patriarchal attitudes. These passages are, arguably, one the roots causes of today’s rape culture. What are the effects of our rape culture? The existence of rape culture has spawned generations and generations of sexist individuals. It has created the mass delusion of “sexual roles” in which virtually all human beings are expected and often forced, in fear of social isolation, to submit. Women have been objectified, molested, raped, assaulted, beaten, subordinated, abused and even murdered because of the irrational attitudes men are taught to hold against women. “You can’t hit someone over the head with a baseball bat and call it baseball. You can’t hit some over the head with a frying pan and call it cooking and you CAN NOT rape someone and call it sex!” Unfortunately, as a result the patriarchal culture of rape, too often men and women confuse rape with sex. Rape is not sex. Rape is the antithesis of sex. The idea that rape is something “can’t affect me” is something we as a society must leave behind.

Sources and Reference Materials:

1. “Fraternities and the Rape Culture”, Chris O’Sullivan, Milkweed Editions.

2. “Refusing To Be A Man”, John Stoltenberg, AK Press

3. “Erotic Vs. Pornography”, Gloria Steinem, Milkweed Editions.

4. “I Want a Twenty-Four-Hour Truce During Which There Is No Rape”, Andrea Dworkin, Milkweed Editions.

5. “The Bible Tells Me So: Uses And Abuses Of Holy Scripture.”, Jim Hill and Rand Cheadle, Anchor Books.

6. “The Holy Bible”, King James Version.

7. “Only Yes Means Yes: Without Consent It’s Sexual Assault”, People Acting Against Men’s Violence, Painted Thin.

Westhuman Anarchist Press: "Political Conciousness for the Westman Area."