This letter appeared in Dr. Vincent Bryan's "Into Your Head" column in the March 2, 1976 issue
of Circus magazine.
Stowaway Love
Dear Dr. Bryan,
I am an 18 year old girl in college who for the last 4 months has been feeling a great deal of
love for a British rock star. I find him terribly attractive and have wanted to find a way to
meet him. Over the summer I thought of stowing away across the sea, but felt uncertain about
being in another country. I started school again this term and am not getting into it. Instead
my room is full of posters and of poems I've written about him. I've told my friends at school
that I think of dropping out and becoming a groupie, but they've been trying to talk me out of
it, telling me I'm too smart and sensitive to get into a scene like that.
I walk the streets always peering in newstands for a scratch of his name or a word on him. I
feel bad inside that I am worlds apart from him. The strange thing about it is that though I
have never met him or seen him in concert, I feel that I am very much like him. Whatever it is
that comes through about him, I think this identification haas a lot to do with my feelings.
Worlds apart, I cannot reach him. Also he is married and I want him to be happy. I feel a lot
of love for him. But I do not know how to deal with the pain of not reaching him, or other
people like him. Please share words of help.
Daltrey Dilemma
Boston, Mass.
Dear Daltrey Dilemma,
The pain comes from not reaching yourself and attending to your needs as a human being. You can
feel close to anyone at all but an extreme imaginary involvement ith someone you have never met
or seen does to your head what starvation does to your stomach. It ties you up and yet robs you
of the psychological nourishment you might take in were the object of your thoughts a boyfriend
you loved.
You probably feel very bad inside because you present yourself as someone who is worlds apart
from any sense of compassion concerning your own needs. For example, don't you think it would
be much more rewarding if you felt a lot of love for someone who cared for you?
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