Right then, let's start at the end, shall we? After Oasis play "Rock N Roll Star" they shuffle off the stage and "Hey Jude" starts playing over the PA. Cripes, how I hate that song. I turn to Ben who's seen Oasis 10 billion zillion times, and Ben says they've never been this bad before. I agree. Reluctantly. No, despondently. You see, it's not that Oasis were "bad" tonight, it's just that they were merely quite good. And seeing as they're the greatest band ever, ever, ever in the history of the world right now and everything, that's just not good enough.

I'm wondering why? Maybe it's because they're playing Bournemouth tonight. Could such a place -- where anyone with an IQ in any danger of creeping towards the triple figures escapes from as soon as they can -- inspire anyone to greatness? But then I think of how they failed to shine at Glastonbury too, and I start to get a little worried.

It all started off all right. With "Acquiesce", if you must know. If only "Morning Glory" had kicked off with that song as well it might have been too, too perfect. It shows what a roll Noel Gallagher's on at the moment that (like only The Kinks and The Smiths before him) he can't afford to leave diamonds like this hidden away on b-sides. Despite what some dunderheads have been arguing, "Morning Glory" is a great, great album. No, it's not "Definitely Maybe Part Two": It's the sound of Oasis moving forward -- and doing so magnificently -- discovering space, dynamics and a way of conveying passion, confusion, vulnerability and anger without charging along at four hundred miles and hour.

If "Definitely Maybe" was a brilliant hard and fast shag, then "Morning Glory" is Oasis mastering the fine art of foreplay.

And tonight? Tonight I kept looking at the ceiling as the small town city hobgoblin beer boys all around me faked orgasms of appreciation. It can't be fun being Oasis at the moment. All they seem to get is sycophancy or shit. (Noel's "Aids outburst" ranks up there with Pulp's "Sick drugs stunt" as the non-story of the century. By the way, I'm trying to avoid mentioning B**r in this review. But can I say one thing very quickly? B**r are a steaming pile of crap. Cheers.)

I'm tempted to lie to you, but Oasis just weren't that good. Sure there were times when they soared. Like during "Supersonic", or when the chorus of "Don't Look Back In Anger" kicked in like a beautiful kick in the balls. But other times they just lacked lust. They botched "Rockin' Chair" and "Cigarettes and Alcohol". We got four songs in a row sung by Noel -- three of which were done solo acoustic and sitting down. (Egoasis?)

I was kind of hoping Noel and Liam would start scrapping onstage just to liven things up a bit. But all that happened was my favourite band played some of my favourite songs but they didn't play them very well.

Ah f*** it, let's go back to the beginning, shall we? I'll let you into a secret. I'll tell you why I'm being so mealy mouthed about Oasis being so . . . average. This time last year I had a nervous breakdown. I spent weeks unable to get out of bed, just crying and wanting to die. There were two records I played constantly, "Nirvana Unplugged In New York" and "Definitely Maybe". Kurt made me feel I was not alone. And Noel made me feel like carrying on. So this band saved my life, literally. Oasis' beauty -- no other band so perfectly captures the wild desire to live, or can (in)articulate how sometimes that wild desire just disappears.

What I'm trying to say is I came expecting magic and I didn't get it. Oasis' problem is not that they're bad. But that they can be very good. When they've raised all our expectations so high we're bound to get down by them sometimes. I bet even God had his bad days. And tonight was such a night.

Back to the end. As Liam was whining "It's just rock and roll," over and over, I kept thinking to myself "But it's not. It's magic and mystery and soul searching and heart breaking. It's life enhancing and life saving. It's everything and more." Or at least it should be. And Oasis can be more so than anyone else. But not tonight, darling. Not tonight.

But anyway boys, thanks for saving my life and everything. I owe you one.

Melody Maker; 14 October, 1995
author: Richard Smith