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Join the Religion of Plastic!
In the beginning, the great
creator created something that had not yet been created before...
The Earth! The Earth was a fairly good creation, it had free
flowing water, animals on land and in the air, beautiful green
forests, Detroit, and many other natural wonders. yet the Earth
lacked one thing... Plastic. Plastic was only an idea then, but
it was a good one. The Earth needed plastic very badly, or so the
Creator thought.
The Creator went to work one
day and made a very special breed of monkey to make the plastic.
In time, this breed of monkey was trained enough so that the
manufacture of plastic could take place. Many other synthetic
substances were produced, but the Earth wanted only the most
beautiful, most divine, PLASTIC! In all colors and shapes was
plastic produced, in many scents and various flavors. The special
monkeys ritually made this plastic, and then sacrificed it to the
Earth by throwing it into large open pits with other pieces of
plastic and random shards of divine material. The Earth was happy
with this and kept the plastic around so that the special monkey
priests could unearth it from time to time. The special monkeys
built many things out of plastic and dreamed of the day when the
Earth would be full of glorious plastic and the Creator could
save all who believed in it.
However, a dark force was
growing... a group who claimed to speak for the Earth said that
it didn't like the plastic. Many plastic temples were burned and
destroyed. A new, evil type of plastic was made that fell apart
within the Earth. This angered the Earth and it banished all
those who lived without plastic to a meaningless and weak
existence. The plastic priests and those who still believe in it
were forced into hiding. The anti-plastic people, known to all
those who know plastic as "Granola", soon took control
of many countries. Industry crumbled under the strong hand of the
Earth. People fled and panicked as the Earth struck back at the
Granola for robbing it of its precious plastic and toxins.
However, now the Plastic Priests are ready to emerge again, to
vanquish the Granola and restore plastic to its former glory. The
Earth must have plastic if we all want to live again! Buy
Plastic! Throw it away! Find Salvation!
Contact the Church of Plastic:
It's Free to Join!
PLASTIC c/o Homeboy Software
601 16th St. #C-PMB 240
Golden, CO 80401-1937
USA
Saints of the Church of Plastic
Founder of Church of Plastic: John W Hyatt
Patron Saint of Parkesine: Alexander Parkes
Patron Saint of Xylonite: Daniel Spill
Patron Saint of Rayon: Hilaire Chardonnet
Patron Saint of Cellophane: Jacques E. Brandenberger
Patron Saint of Bakelite: Leo H. Baekland
Patron Saint of Molding: Richard W. Seabury
Patron Saint of Polystyrene: Dow Chemical Company
This page created by Homeboy Software.
Questions or comments? E-mail us at homeboysw@oocities.com
Snail Mail:
Homeboy Software
601 16th St. #C-PMB 240
Golden, CO 80401-1937
USA
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