The Evil Company's Plan to Create the "Walrus"

In an effort to confuse the hell out of Eskimos, Fishermen, and the Government of Paraguay, the Evil Company produced an incredible hoax involving the mythical "Walrus". In the first effort to create the myth of the "Walrus", The Evil Company installed a single tusk in a large blob of whale blubber and floated it out into the middle of an ice sheet (see fig 1.)

Fig 1 - Whale blubber w/ tusk.

This did not satisfy the minds of The Evil Company's genetic engineers. In an effort to make the "Walrus" more believable, they made a "Walrus" shell out of leather and the plastic coating from a pair of vinyl pants. In an effort to make the "Walrus" move and seem "life-like", our genetic engineers filled this shell with dwarves, a robotic dog, and a diesel engine for good luck. (see fig 2)

The stories of this mythical animal that grew a large tusk out of it's head grew faster than that of the Loch Ness Monster and Tito Jackson combined. "Walrus" stories were soon all over the world, and nature show hosts flocked to their supposed mating grounds. Tabloid newspapers began a stream of articles about the "walrus" sightings, and one of these tabloids, National Geographic, still exists today.

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