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November 15, 2002

There’s an old Yiddish expression that goes “If my grandmother had wheels, she’d be a carriage”. (Some of you might have heard slightly less, er, genteel versions of that one.)  There are endless ways to play the game of “What If?” and sometimes I stop and think about how different my life could have been if only I was born someplace else, as someone else, in some other time or environment or instant. After all, who doesn’t?

And so I wonder, how different would my life be if the circumstances of my birth were different. Probably very different. But the question is, would I be different? I mean, is my personality a product of my life experiences or of my nature?  Are my beliefs and ideals and principles determined by where and when I live?  Or by who I am?

I’m inclined to think that it’s the former.  The evidence seems to indicate that where we’re born, how we’re raised and educated, and the people we surround ourselves with have a large impact on who we become. And that may seem like a simple question, but it’s an extremely loaded one.  Consider the implications.

I’m fervently pro-Israel, but had I been born a Palestinian refugee I’m sure I would have been out there marching with the pro-Palestinian faction in some of those rallies.  I’m pro-choice, but had I been born into a staunchly Catholic family I might be pro-life.  I support a free market economy and consider myself politically centrist, but had I been born into a different family, or social sphere, that might be different.

So do beliefs really come out of strong conviction?  No, I think there are sociological and psychological reasons for beliefs. First and foremost is the desire to belong.  People join clubs or groups because they want to socialize and make friends, and to fit in somewhere.  But radicals or impassioned believers are made, not born.  Someone might enter a meeting of Amnesty International, or a fundraiser for a local church or synagogue, or a political discussion group, with little more than a vague idea about their feelings on the issues. Give it a year or two, and the group has educated - literally brainwashed - the new member into its belief system.

Brainwashed. Hmmmm. That’s a strong word, you might think. But is it really that unjustified? Education is brainwashing. So is religion, and to a large extent, politics. After all, how do we really know what to think about anything? We read, experience, ask, and do, right? In other words, we learn.  And if beliefs are learned, not inherent in our nature, then each and every one of us is susceptible to brainwashing. We undergo it daily. It doesn’t have to be in the sinister sense of the word.

For example, it’s no secret that in university, different faculties inspire different thoughts.  You’re more likely to see business students voting Alliance and arts students voting NDP than the other way around. After all, if you spend three years surrounded by professors, classmates, and friends who think a certain way, some of it is bound to rub off.

Okay, all of that is political and it’s easy to draw a linear connection between experience and belief.  Interests and hobbies, too; would I be a Britney Spears fan instead of a Collective Soul fan if I had a different group of friends in high school?  I shudder at the thought, but it’s certainly possible.  I certainly wasn’t born a fan of rock music; I was made into one - by my dad’s old records, my friends’ CD collections, some great concerts, and the like.

Who am I, then, as a person? I can’t define myself according to beliefs - they’re a product of my background. Ditto for interests and hobbies. So what is there about me that makes me the person I am, at the core, irrespective of all the “what ifs”?

I think there’s something, but it’s hard to define.  Character?  Nature? Nature might be a good word, because I’m pretty sure we’re born with it wired into our genes. And sure, IF I had different parents, you can argue my genetics would be different, but assuming I’ve got the same DNA but a different life, what is there about me that would still be me?

For example, I think that some people are just naturally charismatic.  What they do with the charisma depends on circumstances - the same charisma could be used to start a business or become a fascist dictator of a country.  I think we’re all born with certain abilities and qualities, and how we use them is up to all the “if”s.

So maybe this means that what I believe is less important than who I am. But then, it’s not what you got, it’s how you use it, right?  A Mozart of a Chopin is born, not made, but what if neither of them ever had access to a musical instrument? At the core, they might have still been musical talents, but nobody would ever have seen them as such.  And after all, isn’t who we are a reflection of how other people see us?

Which is it, then? Am I a product of my nature or my background?  Both, obviously.  But which one is the real me?  And what if I were someone else?

Something to ponder as I slowly roll down this hill . . .