The Evolution of Asskicking

The Ass Kickers

Vital Statistics:

Team Record:1-50, but reigning RWF Tag Champions

Name:Raykwon "Haystacks" Calhoun of Calcutta
AKA:The Drunken Master
Achievements:Former #1 RWF prospect, Rookie of the Year, Former Champion, Current Tag Champion
Finishing Move:"The Ass Kicker"
Ring Attire:Grizzly Bear Costume, overalls, one moccasin on left foot, and one flame retardant boot on right foot
Known For:His martial arts drunken style in the ring
Favorite Quote:"I consider myself the greatest wrestler ever to don a prestigious grizzly bear outfit in the squared circle"

Name:"Hacksaw" Jim Duckets the Clown
AKA:Not Too Sexy the Baby Killer
Achievements:Being the leader of the Job Squad, being a tag team champion, being married to Kid Nikki
Finishing Move:The Accidental Crab
Ring Attire:Pressed tuxedo T-shirt, pink tu-tu, platform flippers, clown make-up, green hair, and a turban
Known For:His crazy antics inside and outside of the ring
Favorite Quote:"I am not the biggest joke in professional wrestling, dammit!!! I'm the fuckin' show!!!"

Name:Kid Nikki, the Latino Bambino
Biggest Mistake in Life:Marrying "Hacksaw" Jim Duckets
Ring Attire:Fur coat, brown and pink tube socks, nothing more, nothing less
Known For:Being easy
Favorite Quote:"I swear I will chop his balls off if I ever catch him sleeping with that tramp Ilene ever again!!!"

Team History Back in the day, the RWF would only take its top prospect, so they had a tournament. Duckets, who had never won a match in his life somehow beat Maxwell Von Trapp, and the crafty veteran, Pistol Pete Callahan, with help from Kid Nikki, to advance to the finals against Raykwon. When Kid Nikki was distracted by Duckets former manager, Mean Ilene, Raykwon used the "Ass Kicker" to smoke Duckets and become the number one prospect. After Raykwon left, Duckets dominated the Jobbers to become the leader of the Job Squad.

When he got his chance, he asked Raykwon to be his tag team partner, in an attempt to sabotage his career. But in their first match ever against the Twin Towers, Duckets was beaten senseless. In fact, the Towers dished out such a beating to Duckets that they fell down, allowing Raykwon to get the pin and enabling them to win the tag titles.

As they went into their second match with a 1-0 record, Kid Nikki found out that Duckets was sleeping with Mean Ilene. In an outrage, that night as Duckets went to the top rope, she grabbed it and Duckets fell onto Raykwon with an incredible move called the Accidental Crab. Ever since, they have lost every single match, but not the titles.

Back to the main event!!!