The Rules:
In the Smash Hits Biscuit Tin, there are 100 envelopes. Each contains a horribly difficult question. You, J 5ive, must open 20 envelopes at random and answer the questions inside. Among your 20 questions, you must choose…
One TOUGH COOKIE: a truly personal question only asked by Smash Hits.
One JAMMY DODGER- a question of a saucy nature!
1. If you could invent a fantasy flavour of ice cream, what would it be?
Female Flavour! (!!!!!)
2. Have you ever felt you were going completely mad?
Yeah. (shouting at the others in the background) Excuse me, I’m trying to do an interview over here- can we have a bit of quiet? (It goes quiet.) Before I got involved with 5ive, I was writing and producing my own music but not getting anywhere. I started doubting myself and got really depressed. The band has made me believe in myself again.
3. What do you wear in bad?
It’s split 50/50 between boxers and nothing. I like jumping in the shower, then getting out, drying off quickly and jumping between clean sheets wearing nothing. That’s nice ‘cos I feel nice and fresh.
4. Do you believe in angels, as Robbie Williams does?
No, I’m not a religious person at all. I don’t believe in god, but I do believe in fate and destiny. I think that happens in your life, even if it seems bad at the time, happens for a reason.
5. Would you ever consider running away to join the Navy?
No, never. I cannot stand people thinking they have authority and telling me what to do. That’s why this band is ideal for me and why I couldn’t be in a typical boy band.
6. Which of your records do you hate the most?
(After thinking for ages) It’d have to be Straight Up The Funk, which we released as the B-side to Slam Dunk The Funk. I though the track was alright, but I wasn’t happy with my rap on it, so when I found out we were gonna release it I wasn’t exactly pleased.
TOUGH COOKIE
7. Do you have a special teddy?
My special bear now is the one my sister gave me for my 21st birthday. It’s a really expensive bear with soft fur, holding a helium balloon. But up until 11, I used to sleep with a Snoopy that my dad bought me when I was born. By the end of it’s career (?!), it only had one ear and matted chewing gum stick stuck to one of it’s cheeks.
8. Do flashy clothes labels matter?
Not at all. Rich and Abs are into them, but I just can’t deal with them. I just dress in what I feel comfortable in. if it’s nice, it’s nice-even if it cost 12 pounds from C&A.
9. What’s the biggest hair disaster you’ve ever had?
The worst was when I was six and lived in Canada. I had yer typical Canadian young hairdo- it was sort of a bowl cut, then long at the back. I’ve had a few weird hairstyles, though. I’m mixed race, so my hair’s fuzzy and grows up. Once, I was growing it dreads and it was literally a white afro. I used to wobble it around- that was pretty cool ‘cos it was different.
10. Who would you most like to meet?
Definitely Tupac Shakur (murdered rap legend), not obviously not now! Hip hop’s my music, even though I’m into everything. I’ve got almost every album by Iron Maiden (heavy medal rockers), and I listen to Pavarotti too, but 80s soul and hip hop are the main thing.
11. When was the last time you lied to get your wicked way with the opposite sex?
I haven’t. Never.
12. What brand of toothpaste do you use?
I use…oh, what’s the name of it? Colgate…Colgate Total. I wouldn’t recommend any of those whitening toothpastes, though. I used one and it gave me ulcers all over my tongue!
13. What’s the most useless piece of advice you’ve ever been given?
At school, the teachers used to say, "Knuckle down now and it’II serve you well." I always knew I’d end up doing something like this, so it was rubbish. I come out of school with five grade B ‘O’ Levels, and all the rest GCSE. (eh?) I was intelligent enough to do better, but I didn’t do that well ‘cos I preferred to entertain people.
JAMMY DODGER!
14. Have you ever had a one-night stand?
I’ve only had one in my life. I’m just not that way inclined. Looking back, I’m glad I did it ‘cos you have to try everything. But for a week afterwards, I just kept thinking, ‘I can’t believe I’ve done that.’ I was disgusted with myself.
15. What’s the weirdest present you’ve ever been given by a fan?
I got some of that slime stuff the other day that makes trumping sounds when you press it. I was made up ‘cos I had one a year ago but it all dried out. I take it with me everywhere.
16. What does love feel like?
Love’s just…(going all misty-eyed) it makes you feel complete. It’s like a hole has been filled in and everything’s good- for awhile, anyway. It’s wicked, full stop.
17. Who’s the rudest celebrity you’ve met?
To tell you the truth I’ve been quite surprised ‘cos I haven’t really met anyone rude. I’m sure I’II meet a thousand rude celebrities ‘cos they’re everywhere, but I haven’t yet.
18. Do you believe in aliens?
It depends. Sometimes I think it’s a total load of rubbish, but a lot of the time I think I do. I can’t believe this is the only place where there’s something living, so even if it’s just a microscopic lifeform somewhere, that’d be classed as alien.
19. If you could say anything to anyone, who would it be and what would you say?
I’d say to Abs, ‘You’re a fat bleep ‘cos you’ve just ate half a doughnut and you’re supposed to be cutting down on your fat intake,’ plus a few more expletives
20. Are you really as hard as you make out?
I think people get the impression I’m heartless and not sensible, but that’s the total opposite. I can be the nastiest, most unpleasant person to have around if I’m rubbed up the wrong way, but I can be the nicest as well. I think I’ve got a good balance, really. Others might say my temper shows a bit too much, though!
YOUR SELECTION
Sent in by Kerry James, Leeds
When was the last time you cried?
I’m never shy to admit that I’ve cried about something, and I’II admit I’ve done it quite a few times since I’ve been in the band- whether it’s been because of stress or something happening in my family.