A few years ago, I won this huge panda bear thing at Kennywood. I didn't really try to win it. It just came to me because apparently I had done all it took to win it. Even after I won, I thought "Wow. I am the ultimate winner with this gargantuan stuffed endangered species." But eventually it hit me: what am I gonna do with this? Stare at it? Set up little stuffed animal villages and have it stamp through them with the means to destroy? I used to have a little fun with it and dress it up all crazy-like. You know, with hats and sunglasses and the like. Did you know that there are only 1000 giant pandas left in the world and only 3 in the US? That means that if I had won two more pandas, my zoo would have the same amount of endangered pandas as the entire North American region. But what do I want with two more? One is enough. Their species may be endangered but their space sure isn't.
I realized something a while back. My watch is smarter than I. Always knowing what time it is and the date and military time. How does a little guy like that have all that stuff crammed inside it? He's a pretty smart little dude, if you ask me. It's no wonder that in Mark Twain's short story "My Watch," he seemed so very enthralled with his doomed specimen.
Before you go buyin one of those Off-the-Wall calendars, consider this. They're a bigger committment than you may think. Take the one I had for example. It was titled, "365 Stupidest Things Ever Said." Yes, they were incredibly stupid. So stupid, in fact, that I was constantly forgetting to tear the stinkin pages off. At times, I was up to a month behind. Something as small as that is actually a pretty big responsibility. If you really want one, though, make sure you get a good one, like the Far Side (which aren't even in production anymore, so nevermind). You know what you're in for.
I'm not much of a baby-sitter. Actually I'm nothing of a baby-sitter, but I know that there're kids out there who are very easily entertained. This one time at a family picnic, I was given the duty to take my little cousin to the creek (or is it crick?... well, anyhoo). He found his enjoyment in throwing large rocks into the three inch deep water and then saying, "Woahhh! Did you see that one? It went wheeeeewww pssshhhhh!" I think he got more fun out of imitating the rock than actually throwing them in. br>
