1. How many quizzes do you fill out per week?
a. 0-2
b. 3-5
c. 6-5,000

2. The movie "Pearl Harbor"...
a. Sucked. C-SPAN has better war footage.
b. Like, it was the best movie ever! Josh Hartnett is soooo hot, and the love story was just, like, beautiful and stuff.
c. They made a movie about Pearl Harbor?

3. How many posters do you have on your walls of people who have been on TRL in the past year?
a. 15-65
b. I burned one of my sister's once.
c. I have about 15 Britney Spears posters... does she count?

4. "The Lord of the Rings" is the best movie ever made because...
a. Peter Jackson's superior team of special effects masters dominates all previous (and future) attempts to create spectacular footage in the midst of perfect casting, perfect landscape, pleasantly surprising creative liberties from book to film, and an epic story to rule the screen for years to come.
b. Uh, DUH! Orlando Bloom is sooo fiiine.
c. I liked "Moulin Rouge" better. (You'd better just leave now if this is your answer.)

5. Are cheetah spots on clothes coming back in style?
a. Animal cruelty! Even if they're not real, it's a mockery of God's magnificent creature of the jungle.
b. Only in a colony of carnivorous felines.
c. Oh yeah! Especially in the form of slippers and lamp shades!

6. Glitter is...
a. A Mariah Carey movie that was a complete insult to Hollywood.
b. The last thing I put on before I leave the house.
c. Grammatically-incorrect Losers In Tight T-shirts Eating Rice-cakes

7. How many different brands of make-up do you use?
a. Let's see... Revlon, Rimmel, Mary-Kate and Ashley... I just can't seem to keep track! Hee hee!
b. I bought some fake blood once for my Dracula costume. So one brand, I guess.
c. Make-up exploits women!

8. How do you feel about Lance Bass being unable to travel into space?
a. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
b. Lance Bass in space... I'd send him up there just to keep him off Earth.
c. I think someone should have sponsored him because, like, it really says that pop stars aren't just musicians. They're astronauts, too, ya know.

9. The latest J. Lo video is gonna premiere on MTV in 5 minutes. You...
a. Set the VCR so you can tape it and learn the dance routine before Susie does.
b. See what's on Comedy Central instead, even though you already know it's the same episode of SNL (the tribute to Chris Farley) that's been on every day.
c. Set the VCR just for the satisfaction of taping over it later.

10. Your ideal TV date is spent in front of...?
a. Comedy Central and/or Cartoon Network (how could they even think you might choose one over the other?)
b. The WB (Dawson's Creek!!!)
c. PBS (the documentaries on Caesar are so stimulating.)

11. The words by which you live are:
a. All men are pigs.
b. Mmm... donuts...
c. I'm not a girl, not yet a woman.

• Question 1:
  • A=1
  • B=3
  • C=5
• Question 2:
  • A=1
  • B=5
  • C=3
• Question 3:
  • A=5
  • B=1
  • C=3
• Question 4:
  • A=1
  • B=5
  • C=3
• Question 5:
  • A=1
  • B=3
  • C=5
• Question 6:
  • A=3
  • B=5
  • C=1
• Question 7:
  • A=5
  • B=3
  • C=1
• Question 8:
  • A=3
  • B=1
  • C=5
• Question 9:
  • A=5
  • B=3
  • C=1
• Question 10:
  • A=3
  • B=5
  • C=1
• Question 11:
  • A=1
  • B=3
  • C=5

11-22: The Feminist/The Tolerable One: You're pretty far from having Fourteenitis. Congratulate yourself for a few seconds........ Your score indicates that you're either a flaming feminist, or you're normal and don't induce too many headaches. But why are we telling you that, you don't care what people think. Just go easy on the Latte's and we'll leave you with your own, independent, male- and weak-female-bashing self.

23-38: The Guy Who Wanted to Know if He's a Girl: You're somewhere between normal and ditzy, which probably means you're a male with raging horomones. You're safe for now, but lay off Britney Spears and the drink-milk-till-ya-puke contests and you might get a date someday. But don't lose that sense of humor or those Ren & Stimpy marathons you have on tape... some chicks dig those.

39-55: The Extreme Sufferer: We regret to inform you that you have a severe case of Fourteenitis. This is just the reason we made this quiz. We want to help you find your brain (maybe the guy next to you has it?). We advise you to fast from MTV for 10 years and limit your number of boy choices to 3, maximum. But first you must admit you have a problem, and once you've done that, it's not as hard to get over it as you may think. Here, let us help you: YOU HAVE A PROBLEM! SAVE YOURSELF!

This quiz property of its creators: Lindsey, and Beth (for some reason, nobody else wishes to take any credit).