My minute of narcicism...

This is me...



My name is Jay.

I am a human being. Nothing more nothing less.

Being that I am human, I have faults. There are good things about me, too. I love some things, some people. I also have a deep hatred for many things and people. Could this also be another fault? ...and who is to say?

I love the earth. I love to walk through the woods near my house and feel the breeze lay on my neck and tickle my ears. I love to walk barefoot on a beach and feel the sand sift through my toes. I love more than anything the smell of rain. You know, the smell that comes up from nowhere after a good, hard rain. Yes, I love that.

I love certain people. My family. They are there for me no matter what. No matter if I have different views than them, no matter if I embarass them sometimes... no matter if I kill someone. They are there for me, and that is infinitely admirable in my opinion. I love my friends, they provide that certain feeling of stability that comes from nothing else. Yes, I love some people.

I love music. Musik ist mein geist, my life-force. I like many, many bands... I love music by classical composers such as Messaien and Holst. I play music, almost constantly. I am always either playing one instrument or another, or at least banging out some rudimentary rhythm on whatever surface is most convenient. Yes, music is my life. Without it, I would curl up into a ball and be very, very sad.

I also hate. It is sad to say, but most of my hatred is sprung from my own kind. Sprung from humanity. I hate bigotry, I hate gossip, I hate violence without point... I am often a very sad person because I see that human nature is to often to kill those who are different. I have tried and tried to come up with solutions, but only come up with dead ends. It is very disenheartening to realize that no matter what progresses we make, new problems will always come up because that is human nature. I have resigned myself to the coming collapse of human society, and much later, the eradication of our type from the earth. We try and control what is around us, we think that we own the planet. I can only wait for the day when we finally discover that the earth is truly our owner. "If man spits upon the ground, he spits upon himself". I am looking foreward to seeing the day when the earth is rid of the plague of humanity.

But enough of such depressing subject matter. I have much more love in my heart than hate, otherwise I would find it hard to go on. I do find it hard to go on sometimes. However, I do find the world to be such a wonderful place, it is completely worth it. I am sorry, but I do not know how to end this...

Love,

Jay.



I am sorry for such a cryptic description of myself, but I am so sick of being such a material person. It does not really matter what grades I get in school, how I feel about abortion, or what I plan to do with my life. It matters who I love, because those things are real. I have many, many views, which I am quite happy to discuss with anyone who will listen. If you care to know how I feel about abortion, feminism, religion, or whatever,
please email me.





This was originally on my main page, and I didn't want to totally get rid of it, so here it is-

NOW! In the vein of APKWIAB...
What Jay Cardinell might be up to at any particular moment...
eating burritos with homemade spanish rice
stubbing my toes
getting my ears pierced (14 gauge, gonna be a 12 soon)!
being apathetic about throwing stuff out
turning my amp up to 8 and being scared
listening to the PD demo over and over
lecturing my friends about the reasons not to kill spiders
leaving partial bottles of milk in my locker until they turn rancid
not doing my geometry homework, yet still getting a c
loving my schedule for this year (having band every day)
seeing some of the best damn shows of my life
not paying back my friends
trying to be philosophical and failing... miserably
SCOPING... hehehe

Oh, there's no place like home.