Goose-Step Mama(Nasty/McQuickly)
 
Ow!
Goose-steppin' mama under-cover charge
Goose-step mama taken by and large
While you tinker with some tailor
someone soldier to a sailor
Goose-step mama
Oh yeah!
Goose-step mama
 
Goose-step mama boogie all night long
Goose-step mama you can do no wrong
You know how to reassemble
clumsy hands and knees that tremble
Goose-step mama
Oh yeah!
Goose-step mama
Wooo!
 
You've got something that makes you something
something tells me loud and clear
In the end it comes to nothing
You've got nothing to eins zwei drei vier
 
Goose-step mama with your rock 'n roll
Goose-step mama with your heart of gold
You don't like to see men suffer
Love is tough but life is tougher
Goose-step mama
Oh yeah!
Goose-step mama
Wow!
 
(repeat refrain and last verse)
 
Number One (Nasty/McQuickly)

Number one, number one
You're my number one
You're my second to none
Number one, number one
Wooo!
 
One and one make two
and I look after you
 
Number one, number one
You're my number one
Wooo!
 
When I fell for you
I didn't need a shove
Now that we are two
It all adds up to love
 
Number one, number one
You're my number one
You're my second to none
Number one, number one
Wooo!
 
One and one make two
and I look after you
 
Number one, number one
You're my number one
Wooo!
 
A teacher couldn't teach me
I had no time for school
No one there could reach me
But baby I'm no fool, no fool
 
Number one, number one
You're my number one
You're my second to none
Number one, number one
Wooo!
 
One and one make two
and I look after you
 
Number one, number one
You're my number one
Wooo!
 
Ah-Ah-Ah-Ah
Number one!
 
Baby Let Me Be (Nasty/McQuickly)

 
Baby let me be
Baby set me free
I'm on my knees
I'm begging you please
Won't you set me free
If you don't want me
Baby let me be
 
Baby let me be
Baby set me free
You treat me so bad
You make me so sad
Won't you set me free
If you don't want me
Baby let me be
Ooo!
 
Say you wanna settle down
but you keep running around
What am I supposed to do?
How can I keep loving you?
 
(repeat first verse)
(repeat refrain)
(repeat second verse)
 
Hold My Hand (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
I'm not the kind of guy who likes to play big brother
But I've just seen your date outside, he's with another
I saw you both come in
Clearly you're not meant for him, so
Please, please hold my hand
 
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home
 
I want to tell you I'm in love with you completely
I'd like to take you far away from here, discretely
Our love was meant to be
and darling, it's a certainty, oh
Please, please hold my hand
 
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home
 
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand and I'll see you home
Hold my hand, yeah, yeah
Hold my hand, yeah, oooo-oooo
Hold my hand and I'll see you home
 
Blue Suede Schubert (Nasty/McQuickly)

 
Well you can take it any way you want
You can shake it till it's back to front
If you rock it till it's inside out
Let me tell you what it's all about
It's a rock 'n roll symphony
and it's gonna be the death of me
 
They call me Blue Suede Schubert
The king of the bop
Blue Suede Schubert
I just can't stop
When I get that beat
my music is complete
Ow!
 
Well, it's crazy but you know it's true
You gotta do what you gotta do
And I'm gonna have to sing my song
while the back beat's going strong
Everybody rock 'n roll 'n more
even rolling all around the floor
 
They call me Blue Suede Schubert
The king of the bop
Blue Suede Schubert
I just can't stop
When I hear that drum
I'm gonna blow to kingdom come
 
They call me Blue Suede Schubert
The king of the bop
Blue Suede Schubert
I just can't stop
When I get that beat
my music is complete
 
Blue Suede Schubert
Blue Suede Schubert
Blue Suede Schubert
Blue Suede Schubert
 
Blue Suede Schubert
when I'm dead I'll drop
 
I Must Be In Love (Nasty/McQuickly)

 
I feel good
I feel bad
I feel happy
I feel sad
Am I in love?
I must be in love
 
I feel rich
I feel poor
I'm in doubt
I feel sure
Am I in love?
I must be in love
 
Anytime of the day I can see
her face when I close my eyes
Wooo!
 
She's a dream
She is real
Can't explain
how I feel
Am I in love?
I must be in love
 
(repeat refrain)
 
Am I dead
or alive?
Can my poor heart
survive?
Am I in love?
I must be in love
 
(repeat first verse)
 
With A Girl Like You (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
Shoot me down in flames if I should tell a lie
Cross my heart I promise that it's true
I've been in love so many times before
but never with a girl like you
 
With a girl like you
to hold and be beside
With a girl like you
to fill my heart with pride and joy
 
With a girl like you
I know where I belong
With a girl like you
I know I can be strong, you know
I won't bring you any pain
I won't run around again
Ther'll be nothing to explain
with a girl like you
 
You know
I won't bring you any pain
I won't run around again
Ther'll be nothing to explain
with a girl like you
 
Between Us (Nasty/McQuickly)

 
I'm looking at you
You're looking at me
Between us it's oh, so easy to see
We were made for each other, girl
We were made for each other
Between us
Love has begun between us
Two hearts are one between us
Nothing can come between us
 
Whatever we do
Whenever we kiss
Between you and me it's not hit and miss
We were made for each other, girl
We were made for each other
Between us
Love has begun between us
Two hearts are one between us
Nothing can come between us
 
Between us
Love has begun between us
Two hearts are one between us
Nothing can come between us
Between us
Nothing can come between us
Between us
Nothing can come
Nothing can come between us
 
Living In Hope (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
I grew up in the country
beside a chicken shack
so I left for the city
and I didn't look back
Now I'm living in hope
Living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
Living in hope
 
Walkin 'round the city
feeling all alone
nobody told me
the streets are paved with stone
But I'm living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
I'm living in hope
I'm living in hope
 
Can't find my feet or a friendly face
In this god foresaken town
Nobody stops to lend a hand
unless they want to put you down
 
Got no woman
or a steady job
Feeling like a cowboy
and looking like a slob
But I'm living in hope
Living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
I'm living in hope
 
Nothing in my pocket
Nowhere to go
Looking for a handout
But no one wants to know
But I'm living in hope
Living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
Living in hope
 
I'm living in hope
Living in hope
Yes, I'm living in hope
Living in hope
 
Ouch! (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
Ouch!
You're breaking my heart
Ouch!
I'm falling apart
Ouch!
Ow-ow-ouch!
 
When we first met
I must admit I fell for you right from the start
Now when we meet
all kinds of things it seems upset the apple cart
Ouch!
Don't desert me
Ouch!
Please don't hurt me
Ouch!
Ow-ow-ouch!
 
What is thing called love?
Why do they say it makes the world go 'round?
I can't explain
the way I feel for you, my feet don't touch the ground
Ouch!
Don't desert me
Ouch!
Please don't hurt me
Ouch!
Ow-ow-ouch!
 
(repeat first verse)
(repeat refrain twice)
 
It's Looking Good (Nasty/McQuickly)

 
There was no one in my life till I met you
You brought me love and taught me how to smile
You picked me up when I was feeling blue
From now on my future is worthwhile
 
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
 
Now that you have given me reason to live
I will stay forever by your side
And give you all the loving I can give
Just say the word and be my bride
 
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
 
I'm not throwing caution to the winds, oh, no
Love is not an easy game to play
Though I may not be a man of words, yeah, yeah
There is one thing I feel obliged to say
 
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
 
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
 
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
It's looking good
 
Doubleback Alley (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
People were proud in Doubleback Alley
Neighbors were loud, but ever so pally
People would shout
Joking about
The smoke and the soot
Mother would put
the milk bottles out
 
We had a good time in Doubleback Alley
With fences to climb and Father O'Malley
to clip your ear
and steer you clear
of the funny man
on the ice cream van
that talked so queer
 
Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
happy smiling faces if I flog my memory
 
Plenty to do in Doubleback Alley
Play peek-a-boo with Saccharine Sally
Bouncing a ball
against the wall
showing her drawers
you come indoors
her dad would call
 
Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
happy smiling faces if I flog my memory
 
Stinking of gin in Doubleback Alley
Grinning a grin in Doubleback Alley
Kick a dustbin
Bingo to win
Windows to break
mother would take
the milk bottles in
 
Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
happy smiling faces if I flog my memory
 
Doubleback Alley takes me back and in my mind I see
happy smiling faces if I flog my memory
 
Doubleback Alley
 
Good Times Roll (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
Hour after hour in an ivory tower
A thousand and nothings to do
Spending the day in a colourful way
Blue upon blue upon blue
Psychadelicatessen
Fricasse chorus girls thigh
Toffee and mackeral gateau
Pineapple pie in the sky
 
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll away
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll away
 
Like ice in a drink
invisible ink
or dreams in the cold light of day
The children of rock 'n roll
never grow old
They just fade away
Drifting along on a cotton wool cloud
dreaming of drum majorettes
Swastika nightingales croon tongue in cheek
an elephant never forgets
 
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll away
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll
See how the good times roll away
 
(fades)
 
Nevertheless (O'Hara)

 
In this day and age
Love is all the rage
Life goes on, it only goes to show
It's not my cup of tea
It's all the same to me
For we are here today and gone tomorrow
 
Nevertheless
Make the most of it
Make the most of it
Nevertheless
Nevertheless
Nevertheless
Nevertheless
 
Love Life (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
Love Life
Love Life
Love Life
Love Life
 
Make up your mind
In your own time
To live is to live
To love is sublime
Where there's a will there's a way
Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love
 
(refrain)
 
People give thanks
People rejoice
Given a chance
Given a choice
Where there's a will there's a way
Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love
 
(refrain)
 
Where there's a will there's a way
Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love
 
(refrain)
 
Love is the meaning of life
Life is the meaning of love
(repeats, fades)
 
Piggy In The Middle (Nasty/McQuickly)

 
I know you know what you know
but you should know by now that you're not me
Talk about a month of Sundays
Toffee nosed wet weekend as far as I can see
 
Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Doo-a-poo-poo
 
Bible punching heavyweight
evangelistic boxing kangaroo
Orangutang and anaconda
Donald Duck and Mickey Mouse
even Pluto too
 
Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Doo-a-poo-poo
 
(Stig is dead, honestly)
 
One man's civilization
is another man's jungle, yeah
They say revolution's in the air
I'm dancing in my underwear
'cause I don't care
 
Hey diddle diddle
The Cat's in the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Doo-a-poo-poo
Doo-a-poo-poo
 
[The following four lines can be heard in Rutles bootlegs,
but do not appear on the released recording]
 
Civilizing jungle bunnies
guinea pigs including me and you
Talk about a knock-kneed frog
Second cousin to a nun living in the zoo
 
Walky talky man says hello, hello, hello
with his ballerina boots
you can tell he's always on his toes
Hanging on a Christmas tree
Screaming like a bogey man
getting up my nose
 
Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Doo-a-poo-poo
a-poo-poo-poo
 
This little piggy went to market
This little piggy stayed home
This little piggy had roast beef
and this little piggy had none
This little piggy went
Woooo!
All the way home
(repeats, fades)
 
Another Day (Nasty/McQuickly)

 
At times like these when enemies can number more than friends
A friend indeed is what I need, not someone who pretends
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day
 
You're such a pain, must I explain my every meaning to you
It's such a drag the way you nag at me and make me feel blue
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day
 
You're so pusilanimous, oh yeah
Nature's calling and I must go there
 
A glass of wine with Gertude Stein I know I'll never share
But I don't mind, that's just the kind of cross each man must bear
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day
 
You're so pusilanimous, oh yeah
Nature's calling and I must go there
 
Another day, I know they say that all the world's a stage
I'll play the fool, but as a rule I'd rather act my age
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day
I'm on my way
I cannot stay another day
 
Cheese And Onions (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
I have always thought
in the back of my mind
Cheese and onions
I have always thought
that the world was unkind
Cheese and onions
 
Do I have to spell it out?
C-H-E-E-S-E-A-N-D-O-N-I-O-N-S-oh-no
 
Man and machine
Keep yourself clean
or be a has-been
like a dinosaur
Got a device
For everthing nice
You better think twice
atleast once more
(repeats, fades)
 
Get Up And Go with Robert Preston
(Nasty/McQuickly)
 
Working up a fever in a one-horse town
was a Jockey by the name of Joe
He didn't have a lot of you might call luck
but he had a lot of get up and go
 
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
 
Tall in the saddle in a one-horse town
Joey knew someday he'd hit the road
He traded with a dealer for a pick-up truck
And went looking for a medium load
 
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
 
Cruising down the highway doing sixty-five
in the middle of the double white line
His foot down on the gas and his head in the clouds
He didn't see the one-way sign
 
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
Get up and go
Get up and go
Get up and go back home
 
(repeat refrain twice)
 
Let's Be Natural (Nasty/McQuickly)
 
Time goes by, as we all know, naturally
People come and people go, naturally
Let's be natural
ever since the world began
let's be natural
every woman, every man
let's be natural
as follows nature's plan
let's be natural
Oh, yeah
 
Stars are in the sky above naturally
People rise and fall in love naturally
Let's be natural
ever since the world began
let's be natural
every woman, every man
let's be natural
as follows nature's plan
let's be natural
 
Everything is everything naturally
Yeah, people cry, laugh and sing naturally
Let's be natural
ever since the world began
let's be natural
every woman, every man
let's be natural
as follows nature's plan
let's be natural
Yeah
 
It would be so natural
(repeats, fades)