Oh, Mr. Belvedere you are so great,
You cook my food, and clean my plate.
You give advice, you understand,
I think you are the perfect man.
(Mattie)
I cannot stand that butler guy,
Who's fat as hell, from too much pie.
You think you're funny, but I think not.
I hate you porky, I hope you get shot.
(Andrea)Kevin, Heather, Wesley too,
Get to spend each day with you.
You have more class than most I know,
Compared to you, I'm a skanky ho.
(Mattie)
I wish you'd get a clue, you loser.
I wouldn't be surprised if you're a substance abuser.
You're so sarcastic when you answer the phone,
And how many cardigans can one man own?
Chorus
(Andrea)
Belvy, Belvy,
You are my Adonis,
though you don't have hair.
(Mattie)Belvy, Belvy,
I'd kill you if I thought
I wouldn't get the chair.
(Andrea)
I know if I were broke you'd give me a dime,
And if it weren't for you, I'd be committing violent crimes.
Your mind is strong, your heart is true.
I'd name my firstborn after you.
(Mattie)
Why don't you go and drink that Comet,
Your stupid show makes me want to vomit.
I wouldn't touch you for a million bucks,
Everything about you totally sucks!
Chorus
