“Indi!” I heard a voice call as soon as I entered the church building. I looked up to see our church secretary, Lori, standing at the top of the stairs. Jenn and Jo had run up to greet me, and they also turned their attention to Lori.
“Hey, what’s up?” I greeted her.
“Our special music just called in sick, and I was wondering if one of you girls--” she glanced at the other two “--would be willing to sing this morning.”
We exchanged glances, and all shrugged.
“Why don’t we all sing?” I suggested. “That would make it simpler.”
She nodded and disappeared around the corner.
“Well, what are we gonna sing?” Jo asked.
“We should do a Point of Grace song,” Jenn suggested. “We sing their songs really good.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “We could go back to my house and look through the tapes quick before Sunday school starts.”
We all ran out the door, with myself in the lead, and I ran straight into someone.
“I’m sorry!” I apologized, stepping back. When I looked up, I realized it was none other than our long-awaited new pastor. “Pastor Walker!!!!” I squealed. “Welcome! I’m sorry that probably wasn’t the most pleasant greeting you’ve ever received, but...” my sentence trailed off as he let out a low laugh.
“Hello, Indi,” he addressed me. “How are you this morning?”
“Good, good, good!” I squealed. “We have to sing special music this morning, cuz our scheduled singer called in sick,” I explained. “That’s why we were running out of here like mad-women.”
“Or, maybe it’s because you are mad-women,” he joked, his eyes sparkling. “Good morning, Jenn, Jo,” he nodded to them.
“Sooo,” I giggled, “we finally get to meet your... family?” I stood on tip-toe to see over his shoulder.
He smiled and moved to the side. “Yes. You’ve met my wife, Diana.”
“Hello, ladies.” She offered a smile.
“Hi!” we chorused.
Pastor Walker continued, “And these are my kids - Isaac, who is eighteen; Taylor is sixteen; Zachary is thirteen; Jessica is ten; Avery is seven; Mackenzie is five; and the baby, Zoè, is one.” He pointed to each in turn. All of them looked at us and smiled - except Taylor. He looked down and blushed. He looked so shy - it was cute! Of course, maybe that had something to do with the fact that I thought he was one heck of a good-looking guy anyhow.
Suddenly, out of nowhere, Jo started laughing hysterically.
“Uh... what’s your problem?” Jenn asked.
“You guys! They’re all blonde!” she cried. “I never would’ve thought...”
“Oh my gosh, you’re right!” I exclaimed. “They all got their mama’s hair!”
Jenn began laughing as well, and turned to the Pastor. “Dude, how did that happen?!”
“I don’t know,” he responded. “You’d think, out of seven kids, at least one would inherit my hair.”
I watched Taylor’s face flush even deeper pink, and my face broke into a huge grin. I had never met someone with cheeks so hyper-sensitive before. Pastor Walker followed my gaze, then looked back at me, and shook his head with a smile, indicating that we would discuss this later. I smiled back my understanding, and continued down the sidewalk.
“Well, it was nice meeting you guys,” I commented.
“You too... Indi?” Isaac spoke up.
“Yeah.” I shook his hand, then Zac’s. When I reached Taylor, he finally looked up and kind of reluctantly extended his hand to me. He was so shy, I was surprised how strong his handshake was. He gave me a slight smile and blushed. I moved away from him and watched him shake hands with Jo and Jenn. He acted very similarly with them, and I breathed a sigh of relief that it wasn’t just me that was intimidating to him.
I glanced at my watch as the Hanson family made their way inside the church. “We gotta get going, guys,” I urged. “We’ve only got a few minutes to look if we hurry.”
* * * * * * * *
“So what did you guys think of them?” Jenn inquired casually when we reached my room.
I pulled my Point of Grace accompaniment tapes off the shelf and dumped them on the bed. “Wow,” was all I could say.
“Wow?” Jo teased. “Would you care to expand on that statement?”
“Um... Taylor?” I continued.
They both sat down on my bed and stared at me, looking interested.
“Okay, keep going,” Jenn prompted.
“He looks sweet and adorable and angelic,” I declared.
They both snickered.
“Is that so?” Jo returned. “Hmm... I bet it was the leather pants, wasn’t it?”
“Jo, shut up,” I instructed. “Leather pants never made anyone look angelic.” I paused. “I must admit, though, he looked darn good in those leather pants! That shirt looked just impeccable on him, too. Those eyes! Oh my gosh! And he has gorgeous lips, too...”
“Okay, okay, shut up,” Jenn cried. “I think I know where this is going, and I don’t like it!”
I giggled. “And a great butt.”
She groaned. “How did I know?”
“You know me,” I answered simply. “HANDS!!!!!” I suddenly screeched. “I love his hands!” I looked at Jenn out of the corner of my eye. “You just go right ahead and try to tell me you weren’t lookin’ the oldest one over. What’s his name? Isaac.”
“I would try, but it wouldn’t do me any good, so I might as well not bother,” she retorted. “He’s hot, alright?!”
“Zac is fine!” Jo spoke up. “Taylor is so shy. Indi, I don’t think you’ll be able to get him to talk! Getting him to look up is hard enough as it is!”
“Patience, Jo,” I warned. “He needs time to get accustomed to his new life. I’m sure he’ll open up eventually.”
“Oh,” she said, sounding un-convinced. “Whatever.”
“I think it’s cute,” I announced.
“What?” Jo asked in confusion.
“That he’s so shy,” I answered. “I think shy is cute. It doesn’t even matter if he never talks. I could carry on a conversation with a wall very happily.”
“Okay, we need to pick a song now,” Jenn said. “We’re already late.”
“If ya’ll don’t mind, I think I’d like to sing ‘Jesus Will Still Be There’,” I told them. “It has pretty decent meaning in my life at the moment.”
They nodded in understanding.
“I can see why,” Jenn agreed.
I snatched up the tape, and we scurried across the street, back to the church. Jenn and I ran into the classroom three minutes late. (Jo was in the class below ours.)
“Hey guys,” Jenn called out.
“Sorry we’re late,” I apologized.
“That’s okay,” Iva smiled. “We were just about to get started. Do you have any prayer requests?”
I didn’t even hesitate. The first thing that came into my mind was, “Me.”
“And Rob,” Jenn added. I slid into a seat beside Tex, and Jenn sat down beside me.
“Okay, what’s going on with Indi and Rob now?” Josh wanted to know.
“Rob is a mean, inconsiderate, self-absorbed, gay, queer, faggot, homo jerk who doesn’t know how to treat women,” Jenn growled angrily. She looked over at the pastor’s kids, who predictably had stunned looks on their faces. “Sorry guys, I didn’t mean to offend you or anything, but it’s true.”
“Um... why?” Isaac asked.
“Because... he cheated on her and asked me out while he was going out with her. So she dumped him and he hit her for it,” she explained.
I groaned inaudibly as I stared at her, horrified. “Je-enn,” I whimpered her name in a pleading voice. I don’t want them to know... I thought wildly. I’m sure that’s how they’ll always think of me. Why did that have to be the first thing they found out about me??
Jenn looked me straight in the eye. “I’m sorry, Indi, but I feel very strongly about this.”
Well, as long as we’re on a roll, why not hear everything? I asked myself sarcastically. “You forgot part of it,” I mumbled.
“Which part?” she inquired.
“The part where he called me fat, ugly, and.... um.... a whore, I think it was.”
“Oh. That part,” Jenn spoke softly, and I could hear her voice shake.
I felt all the familiar emotions flooding me again. Used. Abused. Rejected. Worthless. The words rang in my head until they and my sobs were the only thing I could hear. In somewhere that felt so far-off, I could feel Tex’s arm around my shoulders, Jenn hugging me, and various comforting hands on my back. Then, suddenly, everyone backed off. Seconds later, I felt one hand on my shoulder, and two more pushing my hair out of my face. I looked up into the eyes of the most beautiful angel I’d ever seen. Taylor Hanson knelt in front of me, gazing up at me with the most caring look I’d ever seen on a human face. He reached up and wiped the tears off my face, then took one of my hands between both of his.
“Don’t cry, Indi angel,” he whispered to me. “God will take care of it. And you.”
I couldn’t tell you how I found the strength to speak, but somehow I managed to reply through my tears, “I know. But it still hurts.”
“I know. I know,” he said understandingly, giving my hand a light squeeze. “Give it time. There will be someone, eventually, that will treat you right. Not everyone is like that.”
I nodded to indicate that I understood what he was saying, and he started to get up. But then he leaned back down, brushed his thumb gently over my cheek, and whispered so that only I could hear, “And Indi, you are not fat, you are not ugly - you’re a beautiful girl. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise.”
I dropped my gaze to my lap, and I could feel my cheeks flush crimson. “Thank you,” I breathed, barely audibly. With that, Taylor left my side and returned to his seat, as did the rest of the class (including Isaac, who I realized had been the one with his hand on my shoulder). The lesson proceeded as planned, though due to that interruption we only got about half-way through.