‘Kingsville, Ohio? OHIO?? What were they smoking when they decided this??’ I scribbled in my journal. I sighed dejectedly and rolled over on my back. I had lived in Tulsa all my life. Big city. Loved it. Ohio was about as far from Oklahoma as you could get. And, of all the retarded things, it was a hicktown. That’s right. HICKSVILLE, USA. I really smiled for about the first time since hearing the news two months ago. They should really re-name it, I decided. Hicksville sounds good. Now, mind you, I had never seen this town - village, whatever - but from what my parents had told me, it was my worst nightmare. I guess the general idea was that the smalltown atmosphere would be good for us. Whatever.
“Tay,” my younger brother Zac spoke softly. “Mom says we gotta start packing.”
I groaned. “Has she been smoking crack?” I mumbled.
He burst into laughter. “Taylor!”
“What?!” I inquired innocently. “There’s evidence that she was smoking it previously. We’re moving. There you go.” I paused. “What, you think it’s marijuana??”
He just continued laughing hysterically. “Tay, I think that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”
I snickered. “Yeah? You should hear yourself laugh. That’s a pretty funny sound.”
“Ha!” he retorted, I guess for lack of anything semi-intelligent popping into his head.
Suddenly, a large pile of boxes began making it’s way into the room.
“Uh...” I began. “What the...?” Zac and I exchanged a glance, and began laughing so hard that we both fell on the floor. So, Taylor, I told myself, there are consequences to being depressed for two months straight. I can no longer breathe.
Finally, Mom emerged from behind the monstrous stack. “What are you two laughing about?” she asked, shooting us a quizzical look.
All we could do was point and laugh.
She raised her eyebrows. “O-kay,” she muttered under her breath, and disappeared behind the boxes, which once again continued their trek across the room.
I gasped for air. “Mom! Mom! Stop! You’re killin’ me!” I cried.
“What is the matter with you two?!” she asked.
“The boxes!” Zac yelled, and, without any further explanation, continued laughing.
“That’s so funny!” I concurred.
Mom just stood there and stared. “Are you kids feeling alright?” she wanted to know. “I mean, if there’s something wrong...”
“We’re laughing!” I informed her. “What’s so wrong with that?!”
“Honey, you haven’t laughed in weeks! The fact that a pile of boxes could so amuse you now, really worries me!”
“But, the boxes were moving!” Zac howled, holding his sides with laughter.
“That’s because I was pushing, dear,” she told him with a hint of sarcasm. “It’s one of the laws of physics. Transfer of energy or....” She paused, then grinned. “Well, at least you’re laughing, if only at a pile of boxes...” She looked down at us, both sprawled out on the floor, and her eyes shone with amusement. “Now, do you boys think you can pack without laughing too hard?”
“But... but... but...” Zac squealed. “HAHA, THAT WAS SO FUNNY!!!!!”
She just shook her head and exited the room. Zac and I took one look at each other, looked at the pile of boxes, looked back at each other, and started laughing all over again.
“Man, we are so lame!” I yelled.
Isaac walked in and glanced down at us. “Uh... yeah, I’d say so.”
“Dude!” Zac began, tears of laughter streaming down his face. “Ike, dude, the boxes were moving!”
Ike’s eyes widened. “Dude! Zac, dude, get help!”
“Don’t spoil our fun, you dork!” I chastised him. “Boxes moving is FUNNY, gosh darnit!”
“Dork?? Is that the best you could come up with??” he retorted.
I thought for a moment. “Um... how about geek?”
He rolled his eyes. “Are you guys gonna get a life, pack, or what?”
“I think I’d rather not get a life!” Zac decided. “Laughing at boxes is fun!”
Ike nodded. “I bet it is. I wish I could laugh at boxes! Oh, the depravity! Save me from the unfortunate demise of having a LIFE!”
Zac and I looked at each other, and unsuccessfully tried to hold back our laughter. After another minute of hysterics, we finally dragged ourselves off the floor and walked over to get a box. Bad move. We both burst into uncontrollable giggles at the memory.
“Dude, we gotta knock over this pile of boxes. It is not helping,” Zac said.
“I’m gonna be having nightmares about piles of boxes coming to get me!” I exclaimed, and went into a charming rendition of..... “They’re coming to take me away, haha, hehe, hoho, to the funny farm! Where life is always beautiful. And I’ll be happy to see, those nice young men in their clean white coats, at the FUNNY FARM!”
“Oh yes,” Ike agreed. “It would give you something else to laugh at. Clean white coats! How hilarious! I can barely contain myself!”
I sniffed defiantly. “They’d only be funny if they were moving.”
I began packing the things I wouldn’t need for the next two weeks. Mostly books, papers, all that good crap. I filled four boxes before we finally decided to turn in for the night.
“If you guys start laughing in the middle of the night and wake me up, I’m gonna kill you,” Ike threatened.
“Hahaha,” I cackled evilly. “Only if we don’t get you first.”
He rolled his eyes. “Tay, you are desperately in need of sleep.”
“We’re moving to a lame hicktown out in the boonies of Ohio, la la la la la la...” Zac sang in a voice slurred with weariness. “I can’t believe we’re moving. Lalala--”
“SHUT UP!” Ike and I shouted.
“Goodnight, Ike. ‘Night Tay,” he spoke sleepily.
“Goodnight, Zac,” we replied. We all fell asleep immediately.