Weird how different my mood was two days ago. It's quarter to six on Friday morning and I haven't slept yet. My cramps are back with a vengeance, and though I didn't throw up this time, it doesn't mean it's fun times either. I've thought about everything there is to think about while lying in bed, tossing and turning, trying to get to sleep. Tried reading. There's no one online, no one to call. I'm bored.
I think yesterday was the worst day I'd had in a year. (Sorry if this is the second time you have to hear about it.) It started with a group presentation that clearly didn't impress the teacher very much. We'd put in a lot of work into it, and I was pretty bothered by the fact that the group after us received high praises even though they'd only started theirs yesterday. It was kind of ridiculous that no one asked "Where is your friggin budget?" because they didn't present one. Ours got 'ripped apart'. They did do very well in some aspects but I still feel seriously ripped off.
So I was already exhausted and the disappointment over the presentation was bothering me during the day. Then the cramps kicked in, causing me to leave our students council poker tournament early.
Then I got home and get a phone message from Wayne telling me he just got an internship and is starting today (probably in a few hours from now). This is of course good news, and I'm very happy for him, but then I find a letter from my landlord. I have to move out before November 1st. The building has been sold. I'm not in the best of moods now so of course, Wayne's good news turns into my own disappointment in myself and all those feelings of not being good enough at anything, and whatnot. I'm sure that I'm being completely unfair to Wayne and myself but give me a break, I'm human. Humans get stupid and irrational sometimes. It's been a shitty night. And now that I can't sleep I keep thinking about everything and making it worse for myself.
But listening to good songs makes it better for a few minutes.
6:01 AM.
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