You know, some things just aren't right these days...
Just this morning
koalas stormed my house. I managed to escape, but I may not be
able to next time. Why me? Because I know. Because I know the
truth about those cruel creatures!
And now I
must share the truth before they get me, and the truth is lost
forever. Koalas have been manipulating mankind for quite some
time now.
Don't believe me? Here's some examples....
| Apollo
13? Not a hardware malfunction! The Koalas as known to few, violently objected to the space program. Since the fact that gasses given off during liftoff destroys Eucalyptus trees, NASA's had trouble with Koala rebels. This is a picture of the one that got away. Apparently he knew his way around the Apollo better than any of the engineers did... |
 |
 |
Here's a
picture that might explain some things that happened during World
War II...
 |
The
koala walking with Hitler in this picture was known to be
one of his most trusted advisors. It was also a fact that this koala was his most trusted military advisors. The Koala advised Hitler in his conquest of Europe until Hitler visited the 50th annual Koala Cookathon in Helsinki. Many imported Koalas can be found there for Koala connoiseurs. Hitler came back from that, noticed that his advisor was in fact a tasty koala, got the koala drunk, and made a meal out of him. Without the Koala to advise him, Hitler was like a fish out of water and fell to the Allies. |
You may be saying "But I'm not convinced! This is just a very large coincidence!", but it's only a matter of time... They're everywhere! Let me convince you otherwise, friend...
 |
We all know who this gentleman
is, and what happened to him. But what we didn't see was
this unreleased photo, revealing who the real gunman was!
Obviously, the koalas objected to Mr. Kennedy's strong anti-koala stance. |
Missing socks?
 |
KOALAS
AGAIN! YOU SEE, THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! EVEN IN MY WASHER! THAT'S WHY I DON'T HAVE ANY SOCKS! THOSE YELLOW BASTARDS! |
And what about nowadays?
The Iran-Contra scandal? Watergate? Koalas, each and every one. How about global warming? Koalas are responsible for that too! Their farts are responsible for about 75% of the damage done to the ozone layer! Why weren't the studies released with the koala info? You saw what happened to JFK and the Apollo crew! It's the koala mafia I'm telling you!
Does the government have nothing to do with the koalas? Or do they? Only time will reveal the truth...
