This deals primarily with customers of retail and fast food, but the idiots exist everywhere. Send your customer pet peeves to Cygnus_x_1
-READING COMPREHENSION: Coupons, sale ads, commercials...etc.. They have limitations, much like your feeble 'minds', and do not apply to everything. READ the coupon, there is small print, look for significant things like expiration dates and for what it may be used. If there is a sale sign hanging up next to yarn, and it says it expired last week, dim-wit, don't think that you are entitled to a sale price. If you see a sale sign up next to the yarn, and there is a frame in amongst the skeins, the frame is not on sale, obviously.
-REARANGEMENT:
(i) Why the FU*K must you leave droppings everywhere? Do NOT leave a frame in a bin of yarn, do not leave a skein of yarn on a rack of frames. Would you like it if We came to your house and put your toothbrush in the garage and your chainsaw in the toilet (assuming they arn't there already)? Dipshits, if you don't want it, put it back where you found it.
(ii) The side of the register is not a deposit for unwanted merchandise. Do not pile your stuff up around your check-out person at the last minute. It tends to crash down as brats pull it down while having a tantrum.
(iii) Why carry around a basket of things that you intend to leave at the check out stand? If you arn't sure about if you need an item, don't pick it up. If you are unsure if your sale or coupon applies to an item, ask someone who works there (see also EMPLOYEES). What is up with parents letting their squalling brats hold a toy from the store as they walk around? If the ankle-biter needs something to goober up, bring one of their own toys. Do not hand the check-out person half of what is in your basket.
(iv) I've noticed that this happens very often at the grocery store with PERISHABLE ITEMS. You dumb fu*ks, you make prices go up.
-EMPLOYEES:
(i) I realize that it is difficult for you, but if you are in a store, and there is someone wearing a uniform with that store's logo on it, asking that person if they work there dosen't make you look very bright.
-(ia) There is nothing more vexing than to be stopped by a customer who has mistaken you for an employee, it's irritating when you don't even work at the place, and even worse when you are off the clock at your own place. If there is no uniform, then don't harrass them.
(ii) Your garden variety Employees do not make the decisions that affect prices and discounts so don't haggle with them.
(iii) Employees are specialized for one purpose. You are lucky to meet one that is a Jack-of-all-trades. Do not assume that you can take one aside and get obscure information from them. Which is to say, my holding a flower makes me a florist as much as your holding a popsickle stick makes you a carpenter, Nor does assembling from a kit make you an artist.
-CUSTOMER SERVICE:
(i) You are lucky that you don't get your brain damaged self laughed at, so don't be a total bitch in the check out line (see also READING COMPREHENSION, REARANGEMENT i & ii, and EMPLOYEES ii & iii).
(ii) Realize that as you snag an employee walking past that they are most likely trying to run errands for the five other customers that snagged them before you. Wait your turn gracefully.
(iii) If you are in a large store, and you ask someone for a very small uncommon item, and they don't know if they carry it, or even what it looks like, don't have a tantrum. Do have a tantrum if you are in a small store and the employee can't answer that question.
-CONVERSATION:
(i) Conversation with check out people is alright to a point- do not stand there and ask the cashier questions when there is a considerable line behind you (see also LOITERING ii).
(ii) The cashiers do not really care to hear your life story. Some topics fall into the catergory of "That was too much information".
-BANKING:
(i) Contrary to popular belief it is appreciated to get small bills and change as payment of goods.
(ii) We are not a bank, if you buy one skein of embroidery floss on sale at .16 cents, DO NOT pay for it with a $50. If the tottal is $20.01, do not give the cashier two $20's to pay for it. Pennies are everywhere. Chances are you have at least one somewhere on your person, or have one on the floor by your feet.
-LOITERING:
(i) I can understand that your arms will get tired if you are carrying a heavy item and you will like to set the object down on the counter, but if it's that skein of floss again, don't crowd the merchandise of the customer in front of you.
(ii) After you've been checked out, move aside to straighten out your wallet, don't block the next customer from checking out.
(iii) If you happen to have sixteen children, or have a large extended family that needs to shop with you, Do Not let them stand in line with you as you check out. You congest the walk-spaces, and make people (see also SUPERVISORS) think there is a really long line, which causes them to interupt the activities of everyone else to accomodate for your crowd.
-SHOPPING CART ETTIQUETTE:
(i) If you are only getting a handful of items, carry them, leave the carts for someone who is buying a lot.
(ii) If you have quite a few items, get a cart, trying to carry it all yourself is stupid, but after all what trait is this page dedicated to?
(iii) While 'driving' your cart through the aisles Do Not use the cart as a walker (i.e. leaning forward to support your weight on the handle bar and projecting your well-fed A$$ into other peoples personal space.), you take up too much room and you tend to walk really slow, and you know that you are only buying that one skein of yarn so you don't need it anyways. If you are that dissabled then you should not be out.
(iv) In certain venues, such as the super-value-warehouses, there is a cart that the cashier must transfer your purchase goods into for you to cart out. The cashier is left with the cart you had, and it gets passed on to the next person, they leave their cart... and so on. If you did not bring a cart to the line then you are not entitled to one as you leave.
-SUPERVISORS:
(i) They do not have all the answers, if you want the question answered the right way ask an employee. Supervisors think they are above working, so they don't, and they usually have no idea whats actually going on in the store.
(ii) To see a supervisor is rare, usually they are hiding in their office drinking coffee and talking to friends on the company phone or they are outside smoking. If you ask to see one and you end up waiting for an unnatural amount of time, this would be why.