So it's fairly well known that if I have a preference, it's to be honest. And really, in the vast majority of the aspects of life, I am. Often harshly so... so much, in fact, that people think I'm lying anyhow. However, there are some certain things that lately I have come to realize require me to lie to escape mortal peril. And luckily, it turns out, the people/things I lie to are evil monsters anyhow and don't deserve my truth... they are entities that want me to WORK.
Truthfulness vs. Laziness, this could be subtitled. I don't like doing things I don't like to do... it's as simple as that. And I'm just talking about things I can do while I'm sitting around. When I actually have to get off my ass...? Oh fuck! So when the inevitable happens, and laziness(or in this case actual exhaustion) and work collide... something must be done.
I got up for work today around 7:20 and felt sick, as usual. There's just something about mornings where I have to work. It usually lasts til about I get off the bus at the mall. Well, the same happened today. I left a little earlier than yesterday, having missed the bus yesterday. It was raining out, hooray. I waited in the rain for the bus, narrowly avoiding the multiple slushy splashes of sadistic car drivers. Normally when the bus gets to the mall, the two fat women who work with me get off first, at the end of the parking lot. I wait, and get off closer to the mall, and go in to sit for a while. I mean hell, it's 8 at this point, and work doesn't start til 8:30, and I prefer sitting alone to wake up rather than in a crowded staff room with a gaggle of annoying, yappity WOMEN. I also have the chance to pick up a chocolate milk or coffee at the mall too, on the days when there's nothing to drink at home before leaving, or if I just don't have the time.
So I wander into the plant around 8:20 and start work. And today... well, fuck, it just was no good at all. It was really one of those days, and I was so tired anyhow... AND I was scheduled to work til 9 at freaking night! No no, no no. Not quite. But what could I do?
Break came and went, and I spent it ripping apart boxes trying to get ahead of the line a little. When lunch came, one way or another...
Marianne the boss lady croaked, "Lunnnnnnch..." and I stalled a little and did my timesheet very slowly. I went to the washroom and had a whiz, and came back to where I was working. There were a couple people sitting around. I needed a little quick thinking here... I had to had to had to leave!!
Me (smiling): Hey Marianne, can I use the phone?
Marianne: Sure, it's right there.
Me: Okay, thanks! ('Hmn, what now?' I think.)
I dial Catherine the Stage Manager's number... in all likelyhood she won't be around to answer the phone, even if she does have her cell with her and it's on. I let it ring once, twice, then while it's still ringing and everyone's still sitting around.
Me: Hi! Is Amanda there...? Yeah, it's me... no, I'm at work... yeah. Yeah. So is she home? She... what? What did you sa-...?
(Now, at this point I should mention my innate ability to make myself turn very very pale and have complete control over my body and voice...)
Me: She what?! How did she--?! When?! ...oh my god. oh my go-... she's at the-- now...? Where you there?! Well what the hell's wrong with you?! No. No. ...look, no! This isn't the time, dammit!... No, don't worry about it... I will... *I* will.... I don't care...! Yes, right now, my god... bye.
And I hang up, and everyone's just sitting there. I tear off to find my supervisor, with a lump in my throat and tears in my eyes. For, you see, I had just spoken to my fake girlfriends fake mom, and she told me she had just been taken to the fake hospital for fake people, so fuck, I had to leave. I'd called because she'd been really depressed lately, and I wanted to check up on her, you see.
I don't even know anyone named Amanda.
So I took off running for the door, and even after that til safely out of view.
Aint that some effort to get out of 8 hours of work? Why would a person do such a thing? Think of how terrible it must be, that's all I have to say.
Ditching work... it's an art, really. I mean yes, I do work under the 'elect to work' provision, yet if you're at work at the end of the day, and they ask you if you want to come back the next day and you say no, they give you this look like you sat on their face and farted and you need an explanation. Not exactly a friendly atmosphere, friends and neighbours.
However... I aint there now! And really, I think it'll take at least a couple of days for me to go back to work. I mean, my fake girlfriend is the most important thing to me in my entire fake life. I fake love her so much... I don't know what I'd do if she fake died and I had to go to her fake funeral and cry some fake tears... sad, sad, sad.
Geez I'm a bugger.
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