Personally, I think you should be pretty fucking grateful for me.
There I am, thinking about coming back to you all day,
and when I do, what happens. You say I'm acting strange, you call me names, and just expect me to put up with it, or more than that... to agree with it.
And you say you're joking when you do it...
well then I guess you're always joking.
All I wanted to do was talk to you, I didn't think that was a huge request, a huge cross to bear, or anything else of that sort.
But to you, maybe it was.
I think you should be really fucking grateful.
You said it yourself, you pushed the last person who cared about you away...
and felt like shit for it. Complete shit.
So now are you going to do it again?
If you do, I don't know if you deserve a third chance.
Most thinking people only need two to get it right... but maybe three, if they get caught up in the details the second time.
Maybe eventually you'll acknowledge my worth, and maybe, like with so many other people, it'll be too late by then, and I'll have taken the stance on you that you 'pretend' to take on me.
I'll be oblivious, or worse, completely unresponsive... or maybe, just maybe,
I'll be hateful.
Because no one seems to get it. No, not at first. Not until it's all over.
I can't for the life of me understand why that is.
I hesitate to say all the women I see and get left by have some sort of generic or genetic defect,
like a common blind eye, perhaps,
but when you rule out all the impossible solutions,
then what you have left,
however improbable,
must be the truth.
I can care if you want me to care, you've seen that already. I cared before you wanted me to.
Thing is, I can also stop... if you force me to.
So do yourself a favour and get your shit together.
Get it into and through your head that I'm not the enemy here.
My face is not angry, my lips are not pressed tightly together in grimace.
I have no gun pointed to your head.
I have no raised fist in the air above you.
No.
I have bandages and sutures,
I have splints and crutches.
I have welcoming arms and insightful eyes,
and a big, warm heart.
All for you to take advantage of, should you one day take off your blindfold,
that is long and flowing and has tripped you up and mislead you time after time... should you one day take that off and be able to find me... I mean really find me...
after finding where you yourself are.
Back.