Gimme That Old-Time Religion
1.Gimme that old time religion
Gimme that old time religion
Gimme that old time religion
That's good enough for me!
2.It was good enough for Granny
She could throw a double-whammy
That would knock you on your fanny
And she's good enough for me!
3.With the aid of my athame
I can throw a "double-whammy"
(And can slice and dice salami!)
So it's good enough for me!
4.There will be a lot of lovin'
When we're meetin in our Coven
Quit yer pushin and yer shovin'
So there's room enough for me!
5.Some folks worship all of Nature
Tho they love to taunt and bait-cher
They're just funnin', they don't hate-cher
And they're good enough for me!
6.Our High Priestess is a doll
But she's fond of alcohol
Carlo Rossi she'll extoll
But she's good enough for me!
7.Our Coven is a bunch
But I have a sneaking hunch
That their brains are out-to-lunch
But they're good enough for me!
8.Our Coven has a charter
They recieved from some old farter
And they gave him one in barter
But it's good enough for me!
9.Our Familiar is black
With a white stripe down his back
When his tail goes up, make tracks,
'Cause it ain't perfumery!
10.When the full Moon's in the sky
And the witching hour is nigh
Flying ointment we'll apply
And that's very good for me!
11.Our Bard is macrophonic
And he thinks he's so harmonic
But he's more like cacophonic
And he plays a mile off-key!
12.Outdoor skyclad is for wierdos
Who forget about mosquitoes
And they zap you like torpedos
That ain't good enough for me!
13.I inherited from Mommy
I inherited from Mommy
My big, black, switch-blade athame
And it's ba-a-a-d enough for me!
14.It was Gerald wrote the ditty
And Al Crowley made it pretty
Ain't traditional one bitty
But it's good enough for me!
15.We will follow Gerald Gardner
In our faith he is our partner
All that scourgin' makes it harder
But it's good enough for me!
16.It's those good old connotations
Which make grow the Pagan nations
Leading us to conjugations
And that's good enough for me!
17.Oh my grandpa prays to Suna
And my grandma worships Luna
They've disowned me, I'm Kahuna
But that's good enough for me
18.It's the fruit of all my training
And it don't need no explaining
Now if it would just stop raining
It's good enough for me
19.Let's wave bye-bye to Jehovah,
'Cause his age is almost over
Patriarchal pigs in clover
Ain't good enough for me.
20.Rowan Moonstone is a beauty
And Pattalee's a cutie
Holy Moly! Rootie-tootie!
And it's good enough for me!
21.Let's go skyclad all together
Dance the Circle round the heather
Never mind the freezing weather
And that's good enough for me!
22.We will worship with the witches
'Cause we're rowdy sons-of-bitches
And they scratch us where it itches
And that's good enough for me!
23.We will gather at our saunas
When the spirit comes upon us
To perform the Rites of Faunus
And that's good enough for me!
24.Perfect love and perfect trust
We shall rise up from the dust
And become the upper crust
And that's good enough for me!
25.When the red-necks say we're sinning
I don't care, 'cause we are winning
And this is only the beginning
And that's good enough for me!
26.Our Witch-Queen has a tushie
Which is big and wide and plushy
Altars under her go sqooshy
What e're the carpentry!
27.Our First-Degree has curves
That give all men the swerves
It gets on the ladies' nerves
But she's good enough for me!
28.Always be polite to witches
Always be polite to witches
If you cross them they are bitches
And they throw some nasty spells!
29.Up the chimney, down the street
Flying at ten thousand feet
Hey, Pan Am, we gotcha beat
And it's good enough for me!
30.Our chalice holds six quart
And our wine -- it sure ain't port!
It's distilled in a retort
But it'sh good enough f'me!
31.Our rituals are diverse
Every week a different curse
Goddess! What if they reverse?
It won't be good enough for me!
32.We were told in Pagan class
That leaping cauldrons is a gas
But I got a roasted...pentacle
And I can't sit down for tea!
33.When a witch says "wackawacka"
You must kiss her "smackasmacka"
And recieve one "backabacka"
And that's good enough for me!
34.When I first became a pagan
It was daring and outragin'
Now my Circle's started agin'
But they're good enough for me!
35.We go skyclad for the Goddess
So we wear no shirt or bodice
And it isn't very modest
But it's good enough for me!
36.We will gather come the Lammas
It is writ in Nostradamus
We will take off our pyjamas
We'll make merry, She'll be pleased!
37.I'm full mooning evil spirits
Throwing wild derriere fits
And on me they can't lay their mitts
'Cause my charm's protecting me!
38.We will worship Frey and Freya
Yao and Vesta, Lugh and Gaia
Any more? Perun! and Maia!
That's still not enough for me!
39.We will jump the old bonfire
Tho the flames are roaring higher
If you miss you join the pyre
And that's good enough for me!
40.They say that Wicca makes you fertile
As a horny little turtle
And your glands they all will spurt'l
And that's good enough for me!
41.Oh my neighbor is a Buddhist
And my roommate is Voodooist
Me, I'm just a nudist!
But that's good enough for me!
42.If you think that you're a Bard
Go and practice in the yard
Annoy the neighbors till you're tarred
And feathered, but don't mention me!
43.When you go to California
Pagans there'll jump upon ya
Well don't say I didn't warn ya
You heard it first from me.
44.We will all join in with Wicca
With the Goddess we will dickah
We will argue, fight and bickah
In a happy anarchy!
45.Mother Nature doth attract us
With her fascinatin' cactus
Now Her plants have all attacked us!
So I'll go and hug a tree!
46.We will sing a verse for Loki
He's the old Norse god of Chaos
Which is why this verse don't rhyme or scan or nothin'
But it's good enough for me...
47.To Prometheus let us hark
In bringing fire, he made his mark
Or we'd be dancing in the dark
And that's not good enough for me!
48.I asked questions of the Sybil
And she gave me back a riddle
And she left me in a muddle
But that's good enough for me!
49.If you plan to court Medusa
At her place in Syracusa
Take a mirror; what's the use-a
Getting stoned before your spree?
50.We will all see Aphrodite
Though she's pretty wild and flighty
She will meet us in her nightie
And she's good enough for me!
51.We will frolic with old Bacchus
We don't care if some folks mock us
'Cause his rites are rather raucous
And they're good enough for me!
52.All the hunters start convergin'
When Diana is emergin'
It's too bad she's still a virgin
But there's still hope left for me!
53.Oh we will go and worship Pan,
'Cause he just don't give a damn!
Grab a woman or a man,
And that's good enough for me!
54.We've neglected Father Zeus
Tho it seems a bit obtuse
We think more of Mother Goose
But he's good enough for me!
55.Now there was this wizard, Merlin,
Really kept the world a-twirlin'
'Til he got mixed up in girlin'
But he's good enough for me!
56.In Pwyll's hall you will be welcome
But he's not at home too often
Spends all his time in Annwyfn
And that's good enough for me!
57.We will sing a verse for Rhiannon
Who the Celts had had a handle on
When she took their kilted men on
And she's good enough for me!
58.We all will worship Bridget
'Cause She never will be frigit
She takes giants, men and midgits
And She's good enough for me!
59.If you like aggressive women
Morrigan with tricks is brimmin'
Do you groove on S&M-in'?
Then she's just the one for you!
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